Alien Dad Script:

ALIEN DAD

OLD WORLD SOUL

No one goes near the center of Hoag’s Object. Not just because it is a law, but because of the fear of what lies there. 160 million years ago, the galaxy was conquered by an insane mechanical tyrant. This tyrant was plagued with hallucinations of a life bathed in blood and fire. The tyrant sought answers to the riddles in its mind which brought him to the center of the galaxy. No one truly knows what happened that day. Some say the Tyrant is trapped inside a black hole, waiting to once again return to conquer, some say the tyrant is dead and never to return, what is known is that on the day the tyrant reached the center, a dragon from beyond space and time appeared and did battle with the tyrant, but after that day, neither was seen again. The tyrants warriors keeled over and fell to pieces, forever drifting in the eternal. All that remained were rifts in time, possibly growls from the beast that lurks at the heart of the galaxy. Is the story true? Perhaps it’s a legend or a folk tale used to scare children from looking themselves. Perhaps its a cover story dreamt up by the elusive elite of Trenforia to control the masses. The truth however, may not be so simple as you might think...

OSTRIM

Ok...come on Ostrim...you’ve faced bigger challenges than this. No, ok maybe I haven’t- oh-hey! How’s it going kiddo? Did you have a good day at school? Heh, you know you don’t actually have to go right? We have enough money to order the datafiles on everything you need to know. After that, you can simply ace everything. You’re a robot after all! There’s more to school than learning? Well, if you say so. I hated school growing up, but if you get something out of it that I didn’t, more power to you. Hey, where’d you get that? Yes I know what it is, but where did you get it? You didn’t steal it, did you? Ok, good. You went where? And the school just...let you? Hohoho my goodness you are so precious! Don’t tell your mother about this, ok? You know how she is about her baby doing bad things. Even if it wasn’t bad, she’ll be suspicious. And you know she’ll have a go at me about it. What have you done to our child? “Are you trying to turn them into some kind of criminal?” Well, try not to hurt yourself with it ok? U-umm, you want to listen to some music? Of course, I forgot you can just...tune into radio stations in your head. How silly of me to forget that. Hmm? Oh its...nothing. Let’s just go home. Hmm? No, no it’s not about your mother, its about...well it’s about me. Ok, guess I’m doing this after all. Let’s pull over here. Don’t want to have an accident on the hoverway. Right, now how do I explain this? I’m not good at this sort of thing. Please...be patient with me. You know how dad has big muscles, right? Yeah, and you know how you always like playing with dad’s muscles? Hehe! Okay, USED to. I’m sorry. Well, the reason for that is because I have a rare condition. Not many other Abherands have it. You’ve probably never even seen someone like me. Ehe, well...its a disease. One of the side effects of is bigger muscles. Exactly, typically abherands are tall and skinny, but not dad! Dad is big and muscly! He can take the world! Yeah, its a side effect of the disease. The doctors had some scientific name for it, but I think the basic name is Muscle Maturation disorder. It makes my muscles mature faster than the rest of me! It’s why I’m so bulky! The downside? W-well, my muscles don’t stop maturing. They’ll grow old fast and then I won’t be able to move and...let me ask you something. You know how old abherands live to on average? That’s right, average is 50 Concordic cycles, but for me, this disease it...it cuts my lifespan in half. I’m...going to die by the time I’m 25. Aha, yes that is what your mother and I were fighting about earlier. She...she doesn’t like to think about my dying. She hasn’t ever been able to accept that this is what will happen. I’m sorry we were fighting. You shouldn’t have to see or hear that. Hmm? How old am I now? How do you not-...ah, of course. We always kept my birthday a secret. All it did was remind us I wouldn’t be around for much longer. Well, I’m...I’m 23 as of...today. Yeah, today’s my birthday! Yeah, that means I have around 2 years left. Am I scared? Well...I was, but...I guess I got used to the idea. I was only 8 when I was diagnosed. I’ve had a lot of time to think about thi-...you’re... Are you crying? You are, aren’t you? Oh...oh kiddo I’m so sorry! I...I Didn’t mean to dump all this onto you! Come here! It wasn’t fair of me to assume you could handle all of this. There, there, it’s ok, I’m still here. Dad isn’t going anywhere. Ok? Oh you poor thing. What have I done, hmm? Some dad I am, eh? What dad in their right mind makes their kid cry? Happy Birthday? Hehehe! No, no it’s fine I’m not offended! It’s actually been a while since anyone has said that to me. Thank you kiddo. I love you. Come on, lets get home. Your mother probably thinks we’re at a food dispenser! Hmm? How’d we meet? Well let’s see, we were in military school together! We were both around 10 cycles old. I remember those days. We all had so much fun. Oh of course it was military training, but that didn’t mean we weren’t gonna have a good time. I remember playing this game with my mock squadron. I forget how it was played, but from what I remember, it was my turn and I had to get with the next girl who walked through the door. That’s when we saw her. She was what you would call, a rebellious child and a bit of a bully. Not her fault to be fair, when your family has high expectations, you tend to take it out on others. My friends really didn’t know what to expect if I approached her. They even offered me the chance to back out and let me tell you, they would never offer something like that. To me though, when I saw her walk through that door, I was in love. I said to myself that I was the luckiest Abherand alive. I remember telling my friends that she was a knockout for me. My friend Ivin, you know Ivin! He’s our doctor? But anyway he said to me, she’s a knockout in the sense that she’ll knock you out! Hehehe! Did she? Well I suppose in a sense, she did! But I got to know her. At first she thought I wanted to fight her. Make her see that I was alpha now or something like that. You should’ve seen the look on her face when I asked her out. She was so confused! I took her to a music festival that was happening in downtown Herralest. The Hearth I think it was called. There was this song that played there. I believe it was called, This is not my End. To me it sounded like an epic and fun, exciting and dangerous! Like a story was being told through music, but for her? It was...sad. I didn’t find out till later, but her family were killed that night in an explosion. You’ve heard about it, probably. It was in the telecasts and everything? The terrorist attack on the Coatl/Abherand alliance? Her family were supporters. She only just found out before our date. I was so clueless back then. I’m still surprised she came with me, but she’s always trying to be stronger than who she is. After I found out what happened, I considered breaking up with her. I knew my disease would just bring her more heartbreak and I didn’t want her to suffer any more than she had. To my surprise though, she didn’t want me to leave even after I told her. Ever since that night, we chose to live fast. To do all the things people say they’re going to do, but don’t. It was fun for a while! Coming second in the Star Ring Grand Prix, bumming it across the galaxy, scaling the snowy mountains of Dunmor, we found a shaman there once! He seemed to know everything, but he also claimed he was a space pirate from the future as well so who knows? Maybe it was all lies and flukes. Then we went to the junk planet, Schornatis. That’s right where you were born! At this point we had been running around for 7 or 8 Concordic cycles? I was...noticing the effects of my disease more and more, but your mother well, she either didn’t see them or actively chose to ignore them. Maybe both. That’s when I came up with the idea to build you! Because one thing I wanted to do was raise a family and settle down and well...because so little is known about my disease, there were risks of it being transferred genetically. I didn’t want to have a kid if they were going to die the same way as me. So, I used the scrap around us to...well make you! Do you remember that day? The day I brought you online? Oh you were so cute! Your little power couplings and ear sensors! I’m glad we kept them! Makes you look...approachable! Boop! Come on then! We’re home now. Oh, and before we go in, I have a request of you. Now you know I don’t like treating you like a robot, because to me you’re way more than that. You are...hope. Hope for her. And I have one primary directive for you. It’s the only one I’ll ever give you. Please...take care of your mother for me? She's always struggled with knowing I'm dying and...I fear she’ll be in a dark place without anyone to turn to. So, just be there for her, alright? Thank you kiddo. I knew I could count on you! Welp! Can’t sit in the hovercar all day! You coming in? You need a moment? Ah, I understand. It’s a lot to process. Well don’t take too long, ok? I’ll see you inside!

CEREBELLIOUS

Video playback, begin.

OSTRIM

Oh! Ohoho! You’re awake! I can’t believe it worked! Oh, ok! It’s alright! The world is a strange place to you right now, I understand. There you are. Now, all that’s left to do is adjust your forward paracerebrum and...give you a name! Hmm, I shall call you...Cerebellious!