A K-pop Idol 62.4

"Umm... Not exactly" Alex started. “I think this just happened later, when I was a teenager, and I discovered K-Pop on internet… I always liked music, and I immediately got addicted to K-Pop. These girls were so girly and feminine… I… I just wanted to be one of them.”

Again, Alex used an alternate fact to convince Dr. Wong. It was true that he had got fascinated with K-Pop girls when he first saw them, but he had never wanted to be one of them. In fact, back then, he had a strong desire to go to the bed with a bunch of those girls, and it had been exactly this sexual fantasy which had led him to that crazy situation. Park Hara had taken advantage of his fetish very well to manipulate him, as he could see clearly now. 

Ironically, Alex was now going to bed with a K-Pop Idol every night, but it was just Choi Hyun, his unnie, and they just slept, of course.  Alex couldn’t understand why, but he simply wasn’t attracted to Choi Hyun, despite the fact that she was a very beautiful and hot girl. In fact, at that time, he couldn’t feel attracted to any girl. However, when he thought of some guy like Byun Sehun, the actor who had kissed him, he could immediately feel his whole body getting hot, and his nipples becoming hard. 

It's just because this situation is confusing my mind, and these damn hormones are messing my body, he told himself. 

"I see" Dr. Wong said. “Yeah, I'm sure that K-Pop Idols can be a strong role model for someone who wants to be a girl. They are – or should I say you girls are? – Very feminine women. I hope you'll take that as a compliment, Kim Hana. I think you look like a perfect K-Pop Idol. I would never say that you were born an American boy if I didn't know better.”

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that" Alex lied. The last thing he needed was to hear once again how great and flawless he looked as a Korean girl.

"But tell me" Dr. Wong continued. “Are you sure your parents never suspected about your real feelings?”

Again, Alex didn't know what to say. He didn't know any real transgender person. Were people around them able to suspect something before they come out? He thought so or then Dr. Wong wouldn't be asking that. 

“Umm... I think they might have been suspicious… but they never asked me about it directly.”

"And why do you think so?"

"Well, I was a bit different from the other boys. A little... delicate, you know” Alex lied again. He hadn't been a delicate kid, quite the opposite, actually. But now that he was so deep in that web of lies, he had no choice but to keep going on. “My mother, knowing that, used to protect me, but my father wasn’t so understanding about it. He scolded me a lot, saying that I should act like a real man.”

Alex didn't know how he had been able to create all that so quickly. I think I should write stories for a living, he thought, uncomfortable for being forced to say all that. 

"That's sad" Dr. Wong said. “Very, very sad… and… Did your father ever call you a freak?” he asked, and Alex got surprised. Now the psychologist was thinking that the feminized man had used this expression earlier because of some past trauma. Those lies were getting more and more complicated…

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Okay, in the next part this chapter will finally be done. :-)