Bi-Weekly Report #16

Me, checking the date on the last time I did this: "... ah."

... I know some people will consider this unwise, but considering my stake in the game, it happened, and I think I need to talk about it. If you've noticed things slowing to a crawl around here the last couple of weeks, it's a double culprit, because on top of my routine seasonal depression hitting, we also had

THAT FUCKING ELECTION

How do I even begin to express myself about this without being a repulsively angry potential felon? I guess it's time to try.

On the night of the fifth, I watched a majority of the country decide that they were throwing their hats in with a braggart dickhead who had declared at the outset of his latest campaign that he would, upon taking office, declare that anyone who tried to change their gender or even their pronouns would be considered a "national disgrace." Whether that means people will get to shake their heads at the queers or that we're all going to be tried for fucking treason, I don't think anyone knows, but regardless that one fucking stings a bit, to put it lightly. That's before we get to the billionaire "Free Speech Warrior" who kicks anyone who says things about him he doesn't like off of the platform he puked money into siding with the bastard, or said bastard's decision to put a conspiracy nut in charge of the department that handles public health, as what this country clearly needs is more "they cause Autism" anti-vax bullshit, because God forbid anyone else turn out like me in any conceivable way I guess.

I have never so loudly received the message - never mind from all possible levels of social relation ranging from strangers to family - that most people would rather burn this world to the ground than ever have the dishonor or getting to know the real me. My parents support Trump, as do most of the rest of my family, a striking percentage of the people I grew up calling friends, and frankly most of the town I live in, which has its own nightmares unfolding on the level of local doctrine and law under a mayor who won his office and now sits uncontested after running on a page and a half of mailed-pamphlet fear mongering about the gays besetting city hall to "violently demand" the one and only pride parade this shithole has ever had. Apparently ten gays and a flag is all it takes to make this entire city shit its pants. That feels fucking great. I love that for us.

The more reasonable of the talking heads on TV just cite the economy as the driving factor, as if the presidency has anything to do with the executive class price gouging the public on all fronts just to see what they can get away with while blaming gas as the reason and quietly posting record fucking profits quarter after quarter. Those people are thrilled, by the way. The "free market" was already doing what it was meant to do, and now the guy taking power is loudly declaring how many (more) restrictions he plans to lift to let these greedy fucknuts do whatever the hell they want. Like that's going to fix anything. Like that's going to make my rent cheaper. Fuck off.

Can you tell I'm just... delighted??? So happy!! So fucking thrilled!!!

And that's before we even get to my fledgling livelihood. No, this shit still doesn't cover the bills. Not even close, actually. I appreciate all the help we get, and I understand all the help we no longer do, because nobody can afford shit right now. Anyway, the Republicans just took over everything and their leader is a moron who just spouts whatever he's most recently seen on Fox News or Facebook or whatever (guess where "they're eating the pets" came from) while the people who've mastered spreading hateful nonsense where he can and will see it are actively pushing an agenda that would make this a good Christian nation and, among about 900 pages of other shit that's absolutely horrid, ban anything sexually "impure," ranging from contraceptives to porn. Hey, I make that!! You're here because of it!! That's not destabilizing at all!

Oh, and have I mentioned lately that part of why I'm hesitant to get back into the traditional job market is because Kaz is deeply disabled and needs my help regularly throughout the day or even in the middle of the night?? Know what might help??? If you said "killing off what little public healthcare this country has and dismantling disability and welfare," congratulations! You're a fucking piece of shit, and apparently you could run the country.

I am so excited to say that my faith in the good within humanity has been so thoroughly challenged by the reality that most of the people deciding the future of this place I'm trapped - because hey guess what? Autism makes it really hard to leave. Nobody wants that in their immigrants, even if we could afford it, and even if Kaz weren't disabled and stuck in some sort of healthcare purgatory at all times - are at best ignorant and at worst outright malicious and hateful towards me and anyone like me in basically any way that's not my genetic lottery win of a skin color.

Forgive me if this has impeded my mental capacity to work for a couple weeks. I've sort of been drowning myself in Sonic the Hedgehog and other such shit just trying not to think about it. The night of the fifth I told Kaz not to leave me alone because if she did I didn't trust myself not to take one of the kitchen knives to my throat. I'm not that bad in the moment, but I'm deeply tired of being told to fight or protest like my entire existence hasn't been doing that by default for years as it was.

What I won't ask you to forgive me for is if this screed has left you angry with me and my opinions. Honestly, if your reaction to "my existence is threatened on multiple fronts by a eugenicist and puritanical agenda that hates my mind, my sexuality, my beliefs and my profession," I would only kindly ask that you go fuck yourself with a kitchen mixer set to its highest possible speed.

I think I summed it up best here:

Anyway, art and shit.

GAME DEV

Weird couple weeks on this one.

I've asked the KTC about smut content for Slime Forest because Kaz mentioned wanting smut content in Slime Forest. After being overwhelmingly told people wanted smut content in Slime Forest, I had to do a lot of introspection and consideration, and I have concluded that I will not be adding smut content to Slime Forest at this time, but will consider it for a possible major update or honestly just a straight-up sequel I could absolutely do with all the ideas bouncing around in my head.

The game is targeting a broad audience and proudly touting leaderboards of multiple types so people can get competitive over making slime women. I don't know, I just don't think hiding it behind an age gate is gonna work for the present plan on this one.

Also, it's like so close to done, if I just sit and do it. Let me have this. Let me finish a game project. It's been over a decade.

Looking to the future, I subjected GODOT to an object count stress test, and it turns out that when those objects are a distribution of randomly-sized cubes, the answer to how many my rig can handle before the FPS starts to dip is "lol. lmao, even." That's good news for a couple potential projects I could take on, one of which is also why I've been working on a proper turn-around and design overhaul for our girl Kit. Remember Kit? It's been a while. Well, unless you count seeing her ass last night. Kit O'Booty.

COMMISSIONS

The main reason I need to stop dragging my feet and wallowing in depression is that these keep our bills paid and mouths fed. Two weeks of feeling like utter shit about life are not doing anyone in my life favors, clearly. Here's how it's going, despite it all:

Completed:

• PWYW x1

• Spritz's Goddesses

In Progress:

• Ottercat definitely not drowning Crysis

• Haunted House YCH (slots have now been filled!)

• rabbit ass

Upcoming:

• Sweater Trio YCH Results

• Lourdes trading card for Nikki

• Talonpaw surprise partner

• PWYW x 3

Commission Me Here | Here's the Queue

WRITING

Got some work on Chapter 15 done. A good 2500 words, I guess. It's something, at least, and it did help me get out of my head for a bit once I got momentum going the night I worked on it. Moving the plot, moving on character arc goals, making myself laugh. Good shit. Probably disappointing to people hoping to jack off to it, but hey. There's a lot to the story. That's part of why Thralls pivoted off of being a smut comic, because ultimately the smut is but one element of a much larger fantasy tapestry. A fun treat for your boner every few chapters. A thing that happens as a fun surprise and hopefully takes you along for the ride.

So basically writing is how I play at being a dom, I guess. That's how that's reading to me, anyway. Keep it in your pants, sweetie. I haven't given you permission yet. Wink wink, blow a kiss.

AND THAT ABOUT DOES IT

I have 100% cleared Shadow Generations. Oh, I told y'all there's been some Sonic the Hedgehog up in here. Nothing screams "Sera is not okay" like doom-binging her favorite distractions well beyond rhyme or reasonable norm. (And honestly? I could've binged much harder. I could keep binging right now. What I call binging some of y'all call a casual Tuesday play session. Let me have it.)

Also, I've fallen back into Puzzle and Dragons. It's been a while. I've missed it. Still my favorite match-3 format, by far. It's gotten... very large, over the last few years!! Wow!!

I need to get back to work. Off I go.

Thank you for your patience and support.