Unwillingly Summoned: Chapter 2 – God, This Is Weird Dream

James opened his eyes to a ceiling he didn’t recognize. Is this a hospital? He shook off that thought. Hospital ceilings weren’t usually made of stone. At least, he didn’t think they were. An absurdly beautiful face appeared in his line of sight. She looked like something out of a fantasy novel or a movie. Oh, he thought, or maybe this is what angels look like and I’m dead. She bestowed a kind smile on him.

“Awake, I see. That’s good,” she said in honeyed tones. “Can you sit up for me?”

Still flustered by the sight of the movie starlet-angel creature, James just nodded. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, and then he remembered that his shoulder should be injured and hurting. He glared at the shoulder in question like it was lying to him. He heard a peel of laughter and was once again struck stupid by the face of the movie starlet-angel.

“No need to look so suspicious,” she said. “We healed your shoulder and your hand.”

He tried to make sense of that statement. He’d injured himself a few times in high school and, even with good medical care, healing had never been an overnight thing. Had he been in a coma or something?

“How long—” he trailed off.

His brain had finally started taking in details that ramped up the absurdity of the situation. Things like the massive crystals that were floating in mid-air and emitting light, or the dude with a huge freaking sword who was leaning against a wall and giving James a curious look, or the girl with cat ears and a tail that was sipping something out of a cup and giving him sidelong glances. This was like something straight out of one of Maggie’s tankōbon volumes. James shook his head again. He couldn’t believe he remembered what those things were called.

“God, this is weird dream,” muttered James as he pressed his palms against his eyes. “I really need to stop hanging out with Maggie for a while.”

“Do you mean the Hero Margaret?” asked the cat girl, who swiftly came over to the bed.

“Hero Margaret?” asked James.

No one but her grandmother called Maggie by the name Margaret, and her parents when they were very cross with her. Well, he did it when he wanted to get a rise out of her but that was it. It was no mystery that she didn’t like that name. James had once seen her punch a guy in the face for calling her Margaret. She’d hit him so hard that it looked like something out of a cartoon when he went down. It’d been nothing short of a miracle that she hadn’t broken bones in her hand. Thankfully, the guy had been so embarrassed that he ran away before anything really bad could happen like the cops showing up.

“Yes, she’s been very concerned about you,” said the cat girl.

James had to force himself not to stare at her ears which flicked or twisted occasionally as though she were hearing things he wasn’t. Which she probably is, he realized.

“Right,” he said.

He did his best to pinch himself without anyone seeing it. It hurt. It was only in the immediate aftermath of that flash of pain that it occurred to him that the test was useless. It didn’t tell him anything about whether or not this was a dream. It was just something he’d heard you should do to see if you’re asleep. The problem was, he had no way of knowing if feeling pain was something that really didn’t happen in a dream or if that was just something he’d seen in a movie or read on the internet. He watched the cat girl give the dude with the huge sword a significant look. The guy perked right up and swiftly left the room. I wonder where Captain Compensation is running off to? The cat girl and the movie starlet-angel creature were both giving him identical expectant looks.

“What?” he asked.

It was done in vain, but he did try to keep his annoyance at the weirdness of everything to himself. He just kept reassuring himself that he was going to wake up any time now. He’d taken an intro to psychology class. They’d covered sleep. He remembered that the REM period was pretty short. It might feel like a long time inside the dream, but it really wasn’t. So, he just needed to right this out until blessed consciousness was restored to him, along with good old boring reality. He also swore to himself to that he was never, ever going to let Maggie talk him into reading some new manga or watching some new anime she’d decided was the best thing since the last best. When this crap was invading his dreams, enough was enough. The cat girl and the impossibly beautiful woman traded guilty glances.

“We were just curious,” said the cat girl.

“About what?”

“About what kind of hero you’re going to be,” said the starlet-angel in a rush.

“I’m not going to be any kind of hero,” said James. “I’m a college student. My job is to eat pizza and show up to class on time,” he said before amending himself. “Show up on time nine days out of ten.”

The women wore confused expressions.

“But you were summoned,” said the cat girl.

She said it like it was both an explanation and responsibility. James didn’t see it that way. This was his dream, so he was going to run it any way he liked. Being a hero didn’t fit into that. While he was here, he was going to sightsee in this bizarre reality, maybe try out a local restaurant if he could scrounge up some of whatever passed for cash in this place, and then wake up. That was it.

“Yeah, I got sucked into a magical vortex of doom. If that’s what you’re talking about, that’s not a summons. If you want to summon someone, you send them something in the mail. You can call them or even stop by for a chat. Not that I expect you to know what I’m talking about. Although, this is a dream. Maybe you do.”

The perplexed looks on their faces told him they did not know what he was talking about. Oh well. That wasn’t his problem. His only problems were figuring out where he was right now, where to get some food, and where to get some money. If dream Maggie was some kind of hero here, maybe he could borrow enough from her to get something to eat. Feeling more relaxed now that he knew this was a dream and had a plan in mind, he started asking questions.

“So, where am I anyway?”

“This—” the starlet-angel started before looking at the cat girl.

The cat girl shrugged, seeming unconcerned about the answer.

“This is Castle Memoran in the Kingdom of Kollstein.”

“Memoran, huh? Okay. I guess that’s as good a name as any. And where can I find a good restaurant? I really want to see what kind of food there is here. This is crazy coherent for a dream, so I don’t want to waste it.”

“Restaurant?” asked the cat girl.

“Dream?” asked the starlet-angel.

“Are you hungry?” asked the cat girl with a shake of her head and several fierce flicks of her ears.

It looked to James like she was trying to flick away something bad from her brain. He thought about it. He wasn’t really hungry right that second, but he was bound to get hungry eventually.

“Nah. But I want to know where to go when I do get hungry.”

“There are kitchens that will prepare anything you like,” said the cat girl.

“I’ve had enough cafeteria food for a lifetime. Restaurants? Surely, you have them.”

“Well, yes, there are many restaurants in the capital,” said the starlet-angel.

The woman was looking increasingly flustered. It was a sign of just how obnoxiously attractive she was that even that didn’t make her any less beautiful. The odd thing was, James was feeling increasingly divorced from that fact. He wasn’t bad looking, but someone like her was so far out of his league that the word hopeless applied. Appreciating that beauty was more of an intellectual exercise than anything to do with hormones or sex appeal. She was simply too beautiful. It was almost a comfort for James to recognize all of that. It relieved him of any and all responsibility to try to be charming, flirt, or any of the other things that life had told him a man ought to do when in the presence of a pretty member of the opposite sex. It was like a sheet of glass had gone up between them that let him behold her without being able to touch her.

It looked like she was about to start naming restaurants when a door slammed open, and Maggie practically flew into the room. She didn’t acknowledge anyone as she almost plowed him off the bed. She was smiling, crying, and saying things into his chest that he couldn’t understand. He thought he got the main ideas though. I was worried, you big dumb jerk. I’m glad you’re not dead, you big dumb jerk. He let her get that out of her system for a little while before he tried to get a word in edgewise.

“Hey, Maggie. Are there good restaurants here?”

She stared up at him with incredulity writ large across her features.

“You’ve been transported to another universe, and the thing you’re worried about is food?”

“Well, everybody’s got to eat, right? Besides, I could wake up any second now. I need to try the food before this dream ends.”

“Dream?” asked Maggie before turning a hard look on the cat girl and the starlet-angel. “You didn’t explain it to him?”

The cat girl spoke up first.

“Forgive me, Hero Margaret, but it seemed best to let you explain it. He still seemed a bit confused to me.”

Maggie’s eyes narrowed when she said, “You didn’t do it because you want him to like you. Is that it?”

The cat girl put on the fakest look of indignance that James had ever seen.

“I would never stoop to such a self-serving action, Hero Margaret. If letting you explain it does, somehow, mean that he isn’t angry with me, I will simply choose to see that as an unanticipated blessing from the gods.”

“Uh-huh,” said Maggie in her least-impressed tone. “Fine, you cowards. I’ll tell him.”

“Tell me what?” asked James, amused at that bit of interplay.

He really never knew his imagination had enough horsepower to create something like this.

“This is not a dream,” said Maggie, emphasizing every word. “It might feel like it to you, right now, but it’s not. We are in another world.”

“I’m never should have let you talk me into reading all that manga,” said James, grinning at dream Maggie.

“I’m really sorry about this, James,” said Maggie.

“Sorry about what?”

Then, she coldcocked him.