Goddess Asa

Good News for Your Pathetic Wallets

Added 2025-05-08 12:14:01 +0000 UTC

Hey losers,

So I randomly noticed something about Patreon payments that you might actually care about for once, especially if you're subscribed through your iPhone.

What's Up

Apparently Apple can't force Patreon to use their payment system anymore. I don't really care about the details, but what it means is:

I'll get your money FASTER (up to 75 days faster than before)
You'll pay LESS for the same tier if you've been subscribing through the iPhone app

Why You Should Care

For you iPhone users, this means I'll get my full Patreon share of what you pay instead of losing a huge chunk to Apple. And honestly, you might find upgrading to a higher tier more tempting now since the actual cost will be lower than before through iOS.

As for me, I get your money quicker without waiting on Apple's ridiculous processing times. Your tributes come directly to me as they should.

What To Do

If you subscribe through your iPhone:

Keep an eye on the Patreon app - they're updating it soon
When you see new payment options, pick the one that isn't through Apple

If you're thinking about subscribing:

Just use the website like a normal person, it's always been cheaper that way

That's it. I'm already bored talking about this. I don't get paid enough to explain payment systems to you - that's literally what I'm trying to fix here. Just know that I get more of your money faster, and you might pay less. Win-win, unless you actually enjoy giving your cash to Apple instead of me.

Now back to worshipping me,

— Goddess Asa