Podcasting Day: Baywatch Nights with Mark Mahoney 🌭
Added 2023-08-09 12:00:08 +0000 UTC
It’s Podcasting Day! And this week on the Dogg Zzone 9000, we welcome back Mark Mahoney who brought with him two episodes from his German Baywatch Nights DVD. Did you know the show about lifeguards dealing with beach problems spun off into a show about lifeguards panicking at the supernatural? David Hasselhoff had no way of dealing with wolfmen or time vikings, and we knew it. Everyone knew it. Including the screenwriters. Every episode they copy and pasted “MITCH BUCHANNON, handsome, late 40s, shits his fucking pants” onto every page of the script. And then David Hasselhoff would pencil in, “which the nearby babes love.”
Baywatch Nights was a howling cocaine fight of an idea that appealed to no one and the budget reflected that. The costume designers, special effect makeup artists, and action choreographers thought “lifeguard vampire mysteries” was a prank so they didn’t show up to work for two entire seasons. By the laws of our universe it is impossible for this to exist, but you can listen to us talk about it… here. Or any other podcast place.
Oh! Supporters of our illustrious and fantastic Patreon (Patreon.com/1900HOTDOG) can tune in for a bonus podcast featuring the first and probably final episode of “Super Catchphrase” where Mark and Brockway use a 1978 DC Superheroes children’s dictionary to assemble the perfect catchphrase! It’s the Baywatch Nights of bonus podcast episode ideas! Speaking of, to help you calibrate for the main show, here is an extremely faithful recreation of a scene from Season 2, Episode 9, “Vampirgeflüster.” Enjoy:
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You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.
Comments
Ya know, if you're looking for a new game to be mad at, I can recommend Warframe
Nick
2023-08-13 01:37:23 +0000 UTCContext: Mitch Buchanan was a Navy SEAL before becoming a life guard. Ryan is a Private Investigator because her father was and after his death she inherited the family business. She went and got licensed just to honor his memory. None of this matters and frankly the writers want to punish you for knowing things.
Scribbler Johnny
2023-08-11 15:39:13 +0000 UTCBy the sounds of it I'm pretty sure that second episode was directly ripping off the Sliders pilot. Been a while since I've seen it but there's a lot of overlap. I suspect calling it a force field comes from misunderstanding a scene where Quinn's talking about the science behind it and uses the word field.
Honk
2023-08-10 14:42:20 +0000 UTCHuff puff! Huff puff! Get outta my way!
Herbzz
2023-08-10 14:29:48 +0000 UTCEhhh still better than Baywatch Flights, the show set on a plane departing Long Beach at dusk and chasing the terminator line for 30 minutes to exist in the gap between night and day. Mostly they fought drunk passengers and the occasional hijacker but you'll never guess which one was secretly a dullahan!
Brendan McGinley
2023-08-10 13:09:31 +0000 UTCI legit thought it would just be like the summer seasons of 90210. The same thing but slightly different. Nowhere near this level of different. Once again I missed out on a cultural touchstone due to my limited by reality imagination.
Bonnybedlam
2023-08-09 19:25:54 +0000 UTCWhen talking vampire weaknesses, someone said "stake her heart" and Mitch heard "Break her heart" so he went to seduce her and then say psych
Jimmy Rullo
2023-08-09 19:24:32 +0000 UTCI did but only because I knew about it from ancient times and 90s TV was a special kind of insane.
Flippant Sausage
2023-08-09 19:20:49 +0000 UTCY'all can be as snotty as you need to be, but that lighting is seriously on point. Blah!
Dean Costello
2023-08-09 13:58:14 +0000 UTCIt was released when X-Files was huge, and they wanted some of that sweet, sweet werewolf money. How much better would it have been if it had just been about David Hasselhoff, Surf Werewolf?
Chris “Ace” Hendrix
2023-08-09 13:35:16 +0000 UTCWait. THAT'S what Baywatch Nights is? Somehow I always thought it was regular Baywatch but--at night. Helping people who washed ashore from boat accidents, continuing searches for missing surfers, preventing drunk women from fucking on the beach and then getting eaten by sharks. You know, the kind of thing that happens in the dark. Clearly it's my fault for expecting something reasonable from Baywatch, but real talk: did anyone expect this?
Bonnybedlam
2023-08-09 12:52:52 +0000 UTC
