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Podcasting Day: Bordello of Blood, with Jason Pargin 🌭

It's a very spooky Podcasting Day starring the Internet's own Jason Pargin! Listen here!

Also listen to this: buy his best-selling books including Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, now in paperback.

Here was the plan: As a special Halloween treat, Jason was going to join me and Brockway to make fun of Bordello of Blood, the Dennis Miller horror comedy from 1996 which, and this is going to shock you, sucks!

Instead, we ended up talking about our new favorite thing-- behind-the-scenes complaining about a film's production and principal star by the people whose careers he tried to ruin. Maybe did ruin? The point is, we mostly talk about Tainted Blood, a documentary about why Bordello of Blood sucks featuring all the cast and crew of Bordello of Blood except Dennis Miller.

We hear from Corey Feldman who is upset that Dennis Miller didn't want to take his writing advice or his acting advice or be his friend! We hear from Erika Eleniak, serious actress, who wanted all the sexuality written out of her part! We also hear from Erika Eleniak who is upset they cut the part where her character was an overweight porn star named Chubbie O'Toole! We hear from Corey Feldman about why Erika Eleniak didn't want to be his friend or "work on their brother / sister chemistry!"

This means we forgot to talk about the actual film Bordello of Blood, which also means my detailed notes and discussion outlines went to waste. For instance:

If you ever wanted to see how I watch movies and how a real, professional podcast gets produced, this is it. And here are my (completely wasted) thoughts on the suddenly fantastic climax of Bordello of Blood which I thought we would discuss for at least 45 minutes:

Oh, looks like I left myself a note to rip a gif from the scene where Angie Everhart flips off Dennis Miller. Sure, okay. You're welcome, Internet. And strictly so Google can help future generations find this gif, fuck you, Dennis Miller. Fuck Dennis Miller, Dennis Miller you can fuck yourself. Here's a middle finger, you fucking hack, Dennis Miller fuck you. Fuckyoudennis.gif

I was most excited to talk about the actual movie Bordello of Blood because Erika Eleniak was already a vampire by this point of the movie, and this entire Act 3 was for nothing-- a hilarious mixup between the screenwriter and himself. You can see in my notes the exact moment this occurs to me:

It looks like I left myself another note to create a gif, this time of the Jesus laser that comes out of Dennis Miller's dick and makes everyone cum. What a treasure. What a payoff. Truly some of the boldest acting decisions any performers have ever made.

Google, people are going to want to find this, so pay attention to these keywords: Dennis Miller Jesus laser orgasm Angie Everhart orgasm Erika Eleniak orgasm cumming FFM laserplay:

Thanks for listening! It helps us if you Christ dick laser us (subscribe) and Christ dick laser us (review).

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If these images are borked, you can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.

Comments

I didnt realize i had watched this movie forever ago until the meantion of the heart cut by cross lazer

Morgan

Demon Knight rules, is my point. Bordello of Blood does not.

petertron

I listened to this episode then my wife and I watched the movie and the documentary. At the end of it she turned to me and said, with incredible sadness in her voice, "I was expecting something as good as Demon Knight."

petertron

Came here to make sure someone had flagged this. It's like a feature length version of this BoB featurette, if they had (one of) the main forces of chaos as their primary interview. Great watch.

Graeme Campbell

Also, yes, DOB’s Feldman piece is one of the all-time greats.

Patrick Riordan

Same on not knowing who Dennis Miller was, I only knew this movie as a 13-year-old as “that movie to flip to late at night once the parents go to be because it’s like 90% boobs”. Watching Joe Dirt was just “hey, that Bordello of Blood guy!”

Patrick Riordan

Thanks for redhead c..compliments? Observations. My partner was giving me the side eye and giggling throughout.

LyraV

Thank you for pulling back the curtain on your genius, and sharing your notes with us.

Bim Talzer

Jesus christ......until just now I was mixing dennis leary up with dennis miller.......

Jason King

It was mentioned in the podcast that Chris Sarandon was Prince Humperdink in Princess Bride, but in the context of this movie I think it is worth pointing out that he played the vampire in Fright Night, which was a really good movie.

Mike Metzler

"Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau" is a good behind the scenes documentary about a movie that was a disaster

Robert Daniel Pickard

Great episode, didn't know bad movie documentaries was something I needed in my life. Really hope we get a Corey Feldman episode someday too, only scraped the surface on that madness today. Though for as terrible as he is at music, 'Ascension Millennium' kinda rules.

Dan B

Dude.... thank you for this. I watched this movie at a friends house when I was in 3rd or 4th grade and this THIS feels like the finest way to relive it. Fuck yah.

LyraV

Wasn't "Christ Dick Laser" a Soundgarden song?

Skebotron

Hot damn, Bordello of Blood?! I kind of have a special place for that movie in my heart, because the combination of Corey Feldman, (in what you could describe as "Kind of his prime?" if by "prime" you mean "Has yet to be crowned Wrinkled King of the Sewer Perverts*") AND Dennis Miller (still after he stopped being even remotely cool, for years I had no idea who he was and that he was in this movie.) AND gratuitous nudity gives this movie five anti-stars, a true masterpiece of shitty film. *Shoutout to "Hot Dan the Mustard Man" Dan O'Brien for burning down Corey Feldman so completely and giving me a perfect way to describe him for all time.

Flippant Sausage

yes this blog has encouraged me to listen to other podcasts with Mr. Pargin (even tho his books seem maybe too scary and/or trigger memories of personal penile trauma for me) and he is on a lot of them but I think its only on these ones that we have the treat of hearing him giggle with his whole hearts delight

sissyneck

Dennis Miller content with Jason as guest? Could be the greatest hotdog ever 😮🥓

Dave Ruff


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