Podcasting Day: Out of DEATH 🌭
Added 2021-10-06 12:01:02 +0000 UTC
Happy Podcasting Day! This week we welcome -- you’ll never believe we got him! -- Jason Pargin to the podcast! Author Jason Pargin. Novelist Jason Pargin. Book-doer Jason Pargin! Substackist Jason Pargin! He wrote the incredible Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick, as well as a bunch of other incredible books with almost as good titles. On today’s podcast, we’re discussing Bruce Willis, specifically modern-day Bruce Willis, specifically why you can pay modern-day Bruce Willis a million dollars a day and it’s not enough for him to give a shit. What is the give a shit price, Bruce? Is it two million a day? Four? Just do movies that pay that! We’re mostly talking about his laziest movie yet-
Remember to love us on everything, and tell your parents about it.
And for anyone who wants to sing along with Seanbaby's heartfelt custom theme song, here are the heartfelt lyrics:
♪ Unbroken on trains, I was John McClane
of the men standing I was the last
Look Who's Talking Too, Seagram's Golden Wine cool
Korben Dallas Multipass
But what's going on, with my choices since I
went to space to drill a rock
Remember Last Boyscout, and also Moonlighting
wait, also goddamn Hudson Hawk
fucking Hudson Hawk
Now I’m all out of death, I’m on siege hard kill you
I know target die, Cosmic Sin zombie threshold
I’m all out of death, fire breach horizon
co-starring Ja Rule, a dumb soup of action words
now I just show up, and sit on a chair
even when we film the fights
I look like a dick, what agent booked this shit
I could reboot Miami Vice
or say let's do Die Hard, in Bora Bora
Or Wes Anderson's MacBeth
I'm the biggest star, drive Steve McQueen's car
now i'm some guy in Out of Death
it's called Out of Death
I'm all out of death, I'm Kevin Sorbo saves Christmas
I'm darkstalker 4, I'm vampire speedboat
I'm all out of death, I'm a leprechaun prequel
I'm corporate retreat with special guest star me. ♪
...
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Comments
yeah, that's probably what happened!
Rainey Robertson
2021-12-06 14:59:42 +0000 UTCI like Hudson Hawk. I think I may have fallen through from the wrong dimension.
Matt Edwards
2021-10-15 11:30:40 +0000 UTCAm I the only person to ever like Hudson Hawk?
Bill D
2021-10-14 12:28:20 +0000 UTCDamn it, Sean, you >owe< Kajagogo a song at this point.
Dean Costello
2021-10-11 02:41:26 +0000 UTCThe entire nation watched joe exotic. To the point both a movie and a potential sequel have been discussed. With streaming services you can consume so much terrible media and it doesn’t cost you anything else than you already pay for your subscription.
DeltaFoxtrot
2021-10-09 13:43:43 +0000 UTCWho is even watching these movies? I can understand someone in maybe 1997 seeing an advert for a Seagal or Willis movie and thinking "That should be fairly entertaining, based on their body of work to date," but who's thinking that after they've churned out a decade of solid garbage?
Matt Edwards
2021-10-08 13:49:10 +0000 UTCSeanbaby's voice sounds like Dave Mustaine's in this marvelous tune
Ramiro Vasara
2021-10-07 15:03:37 +0000 UTCThe first time I heard the line about the tin man was Bubbles saying it to Randy in (I think) season 5 of the Trailer Park Boys. "Does it really fly Bubbles" "I dont know Randy does the Tin Man have a sheet metal cock?"
LyraV
2021-10-07 14:24:44 +0000 UTCThe last good role Bruce had was his tv guest appearance on Mad About You in the 90s where he Die Hard-ed Paul Riser into a locked down hospital through the air ducts so he could be there when his daughter was born. Everything since then has been a senseless mess.
Bonnybedlam
2021-10-07 11:57:23 +0000 UTCI remember reading something about how Willis really hated that his acting career took off before his singing white man blues career took off. So he spent the last 40 years being a bitter prick on set. I may have heard that on cracked, in fact.
livid_leftist
2021-10-07 06:51:38 +0000 UTCI'm starting to think there's maybe a limit to how old we let people get before we stop casting them in action movies. Bruce Willis looks like a concussed Shar Pei now. The grandpa energy is real strong.
Flippant Sausage
2021-10-06 21:47:32 +0000 UTCI could see being a dick about not wanting to be in movies anymore. So you set crazy stipulations like I get paid a million a day. and you only have me for 3 days max. Also I won't do any promotions for this. You think, "that should make them ask someone else and I can go back to napping in my hammock" But if they agreed to that I'd give it everything I had. You want me to sing? Absolutely. I'm telling anyone right now you give me three million dollars and I will do anything you want for the next 72 hours.
DeltaFoxtrot
2021-10-06 15:05:58 +0000 UTC
