Nerding Day: Everyone the Wonder Twins Rescued Should Be Dead, Episode 2 🌭
Added 2021-09-09 12:00:05 +0000 UTC
From an unexplained corner of the galaxy they came! Zan! Jayna! And their space monkey Gleek! Did they come from a planet where all brothers and sisters could form animals or water anythings when they touched? How much training did they receive before they were put in charge of rescuing Earth children? Because, and I've made this case before, things only got more insane and worse any time they tried to help. The following is a real adventure from a real 1977 episode of the Super Friends. Please enjoy Everyone the Wonder Twins Rescued Should Be Dead Episode 2.
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This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme, Haught Phart: the other Wonder Twin, whose power is Not Associating With the Wonder Twins. Oh, and nuclear farts.
Comments
I always forget about the damn monkey.
petertron
2021-10-04 17:28:45 +0000 UTC"the employee handbook said to call" gets me
DeltaFoxtrot
2021-09-13 13:40:24 +0000 UTCIf it wasn't for a childhood so devoid of entertainment that Superfriends was a welcome diversion, I could never truly appreciate Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law today.
Former Fish Farmer
2021-09-12 05:06:49 +0000 UTCThe lowest of bars: failed.
Bonnybedlam
2021-09-10 17:15:15 +0000 UTC"The monkey watches as a girl helps her twin brother get moist." is how you can describe this pair of space idiots. So......yeah. Pretty sure this is what Game of Thrones looks like after you run it thru Google translate to Korean and then back to English.
Flippant Sausage
2021-09-10 06:09:29 +0000 UTCAnd because Gleek isnt like 40 feet tall and made of rocks it's not even as good as Herculoids.
Flippant Sausage
2021-09-10 05:55:53 +0000 UTCI can only assume that the Wonder Twins were designed so that Mego Toys could find another use for Spock's head.
Dave Dalrymple
2021-09-10 01:08:28 +0000 UTC“Where putt putt dreams come true” gets funnier each reading
FancyShark
2021-09-09 20:00:31 +0000 UTCI have literally never seen a single episode of the Super Friends and shit like this is why. Even as a three year old, when that fucking space monkey popped up I cried until someone changed the channel. If it wasn't for Family Guy I'd have no idea what you were talking about. Thanks for making garbage cartoons funny!
Bonnybedlam
2021-09-09 19:30:54 +0000 UTCThe Ice Bridge panel right next to the car sums up everything you need to know about the Wonder Twins.
Curtiss
2021-09-09 19:30:17 +0000 UTCIf an episode like this came out today, with 2021's skill at marketing and research, you know that a dozen people would have been sitting around a table for three hours combing through market research and target demographics before workshopping a story that would be "relatable to teens" and so there would be an excuse, of sorts, to why a show that could do anything had minigolf and a drag race. But back in the 1970s they didn't have that excuse---their excuse was they had one guy chain smoking and drinking scotch at his desk, coming up with all these stories, and he just wrote this because it had to be in the mail to the animators in Korea yesterday.
Matthew Harris
2021-09-09 19:29:54 +0000 UTCI hate Gleek so much.
Michael Doucet
2021-09-09 18:27:43 +0000 UTCFunny animal sidekicks in old cartoons existed solely to create problems and eat up screentime. And he's basically a sidekick for sidekicks.
Swift Justice
2021-09-09 17:15:22 +0000 UTCHey now, sometimes you gotta moonlight as a Saiyan. And a Martian, especially for the side benefits.
Swift Justice
2021-09-09 17:14:51 +0000 UTCThe last part seems to be agreed on across the DCAU, though that show's version of the Wonder Twins did at least show that in the hands of someone without brain damage, Marvin's powers come down to 'can drown you anywhere at any time'.
Swift Justice
2021-09-09 17:14:19 +0000 UTCNever underestimate the usefulness of your neighbourhood tweaker. They know how to get shit done, and always take cash.
Swift Justice
2021-09-09 17:13:13 +0000 UTCFocus on the word “spacemonkey”. Sweet Christ Zan and Jayna are so fucking dumb.
Chris “Ace” Hendrix
2021-09-09 14:34:38 +0000 UTCZan and Jayna have always puzzled me. Like, I get characters like Marvin and Wendy (when TV shows though you needed stupid-ass kids to identify with when watching freaking demigods battle giant alien monsters) or the likes of Samurai and El Dorado (what better way to show that other races could be superheroes too that give random hobos unexplainable superpowers and a name that vaguely hints at something from their culture?)... But who are the Wonder Twins for? Were they going after the untapped audience of mentally challenged failed cloning experiments? Were they already anticipating a sudden explosion of incestuous kinks but showed up a couple of decades too early? And what about their abilities? Dumb as he is, Samurai can turn into a freaking fire tornado. Black Lightning can shoot electricity from his dick. El Dorado can cosplay as latin american sensation "Chayanne". But who the fuck ever thought that turning into a bucket of water was a cool superpower? Admiteddly, turning into animals is a pretty cool trait, but why in the hell would you ever turn into anything but a Tyrannosaurus?
Pablo Rodriguez
2021-09-09 14:19:07 +0000 UTCChugging the Lord's love is a high you never come down from. Take it from an authority figure: DON'T be a STATISTIC, teens.
Brendan McGinley
2021-09-09 13:58:07 +0000 UTCWhere... where did Gretchen and Kelly go? Oh, fuck, oh, shit, it was the monkey, wasn't it? Gleek is wracking up a body count. He was "helping" them across the ice bridge and then they "slipped".
Jeff Orasky
2021-09-09 13:38:32 +0000 UTCI believe Zan and Jayna were special needs, because if their entire race is that stupid then natural selection would have wiped them out in five minutes.
Max Rockatansky
2021-09-09 13:31:39 +0000 UTCI've said this before but it bears repeating: If you prefer the Wonder Twins (and the space monkey) over Wendy, Marvin, and Wonderdog, we can never be friends.
Dean Costello
2021-09-09 13:00:09 +0000 UTCI would exclusively use that power to transform into a Kryptonian.
Joshua Graves
2021-09-09 12:41:00 +0000 UTCi like how the bible drag racer is suddenly shoeless with torn jorts, while driving
SoylentRobot
2021-09-09 12:36:06 +0000 UTCIdk one episode she turned into a Space Amoeba
Lord Mo
2021-09-09 12:35:04 +0000 UTCI could watch an entire documentary about the creation of these characters and still wonder how the fuck they chose those powers. Baffling. And why does Jayna only know Earth animals?
Joshua Graves
2021-09-09 12:24:57 +0000 UTCwell maybe with these twins there methods might be an orthodox but street racing is a real danger I remember one time some punks was next to me a stoplight and revving and such and I got so upset i drove my justy through too deep a puddle and was kinda stuck there until some nice meth people drove by what knew how to dry a distributor cap off with a big johnson t-shirt
sissyneck
2021-09-09 12:24:19 +0000 UTCAh, the 70s: when the streets were so safe that police officers could leave their cars unattended. Our inner city chasms didn't need safety rails. And we all eagerly awaited the impending arrival of Yogi Bear.
Dave Dalrymple
2021-09-09 12:21:30 +0000 UTCGleek is somehow worse than useless.
Talking Alpaca
2021-09-09 12:19:24 +0000 UTC
