Podcasting Day: The Animal Kumite 🌭
Added 2021-07-14 12:01:01 +0000 UTC
This Podcasting Day we’re tackling a meme a month out of date because we’re former Cracked employees and some habits die hard. We invited Katie Goldin, the host of Creature Feature and all around animal lover to ask her: Which animals could you kill in a fight?
She should have spat in our eyes and dove out a window, but instead she stayed and had wonderful insights on the ancient art of Man vs. Animal kumite. Here’s the poll that started it all, and it’s hard to tell who’s crazier: The 28% of people who think a rat could knock them out, or the 6% who think they could wrestle a grizzly bear into submission.
Katie brings up a few excellent points during this podcast. Like just how big a wolf truly is, especially when compared to the Husky, which is Wolf Lite.
Even their skulls are on a whole other level:
Here’s the eagle Katie thinks could take down a man, even though Brockway thinks it looks like a rich middle school bully he used to know.
And finally here’s the spider that Sean barely defeated in hand to hand combat, and only then after it crippled his best friend.
Your eyes have been programmed to glaze over this part, but we would love it if you subscribed wherever you get podcasts. And we could seriously use some reviews here if you have the time. Just be sure to mention you’re in the 6% club and they’ll give you top priority.
Comments
That sounds fair. But only because I'm confident I can still take him.
Bonnybedlam
2021-07-15 17:19:57 +0000 UTCAnywhere that allows reviews is helpful, it's just that Apple is by far and away the most helpful.
1900HOTDOG
2021-07-15 16:02:18 +0000 UTCI lost my shit in the first five minutes with Sean questioning the rat's victory: "I don't even understand the circumstances... did he win on points?"
Mort
2021-07-15 06:16:15 +0000 UTCCounts as hand to hand, but as a cyborg, you're arguably post-human, so I think the spider gets a sword and shield. I'm not a lawyer, though, nothing I say should ever be mistaken for advice.
Spiritual Gigolo
2021-07-15 04:34:17 +0000 UTCBrockway, Seanbaby, I would love to support your show but I don't own any Apple devices. Is there some other place I can spread the love?
Scottie Wottie
2021-07-15 02:24:42 +0000 UTCI have no doubts you are in that 15%, I imagine poison fists are involved. I am 100% down to help bring you to victory, secretly blinding King Kobra (his ring alias) in the final round.
LyraV
2021-07-14 21:31:44 +0000 UTCI could take on a King Cobra. I have something he doesn't: fists.
Vooster
2021-07-14 19:29:48 +0000 UTCGot bitten by one at SeaWorld, they're beautiful monsters.
LyraV
2021-07-14 18:28:45 +0000 UTC15% of humans thinking they could take on a King Cobra is fucking hilarious all on it's own. How? With what? Who Are these people?
LyraV
2021-07-14 18:28:03 +0000 UTCI think we could co-write an epic D&D campaign based on this alone. The Fall of the Gnat King would be the stuff of legends.
LyraV
2021-07-14 18:26:35 +0000 UTCI'm gonna be honest, I've always wanted to strangle a flamingo. Like not badly enough to get kicked out of the zoo, but I think about it.
Flippant Sausage
2021-07-14 16:03:55 +0000 UTCDoes it count as hand to hand if you make use of the wheelchair that is effectually part of your body? Because I've defeated several of those spiders and they're no joke.
Bonnybedlam
2021-07-14 14:06:37 +0000 UTCI don't mean to brag, but I have murdered an entire colony of gnats on more than one occasion. Yes, I used pesticide, but it's ok because I am a rogue class.
Vooster
2021-07-14 13:36:29 +0000 UTCGeese are the reincarnated souls of serial killers, genocidal conquerors, divorce lawyers, the absolute worst humanity has to offer. They are truly the spawn of satan.
Max Rockatansky
2021-07-14 13:27:08 +0000 UTCBrockway is 100% correct about that eagle.
Brendan McGinley
2021-07-14 12:24:41 +0000 UTC
