Podcasting Day: The Diebel-verse, with Cristian Ramirez π
Added 2021-05-05 12:01:01 +0000 UTC
On today's Maximum Hype episode of the Dogg Zzone 9000, Sean and Robert talk with Cracked and U.S. Army veteran, Cristian Ramirez, about the greatest pick-up artist of all time, Don Diebel.
Seanbaby leads Cristian and Brockway through Don Diebel's lifetime war against women, from his early literature like How to Pick Up Women in Discos to his later work like How to Use the POWER OF JESUS to Help you Meet, Date, and Attract Women. It's four decades of blue balls and desperation crammed into 104 minutes! You'll learn how to seduce a stranger by screaming "PUT YOUR FILTHY FEET IN MY MOUTH!" or "SOMEBODY FARTED LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"
It's disturbing! Listen to it wherever you get podcasts! Or with this link!
And if your device is brave enough to stand up to our former website's onslaught of ad bots, you can read Sean's ludicrously exhaustive account of Don Diebel here: The Sad Reality of a Christian Pick-Up Artist. He's a fascinating man who has been throwing everything he could think of against his virginity since 1980 including sex colognes, farts, and hypnotic powers.
And if you are a Hot Dog Hero or above, you can listen to a very special Extra Wiener bonus podcast where Brockway and Cristian compete against each other in a game based on HOW TO PICK UP TOPLESS DANCERS, a book Don Diebel published under the pen name "Derek Evans." You absolutely won't believe how much "Derek Evans" hates strippers, or how much he has never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever had sex with one.
Like and review! It's the easy way to support our site and to get sexy topless dancers to give you "ANYTHING" you want! We love you, put your feet in our mouth?
Comments
I have a weird uncle-in-law whose facebook page only includes conservative rants and entries to that same Lay's potato chip naming contest.
Darth itHead
2021-05-07 02:29:39 +0000 UTCOh shit, oh shit oh shit oh shit. Very much looking forward to listening, I love me some don diebel! Such a hilariously wrong, but strangely tragic and even endearing figure. Following Sean's articles on him, he definitely deserved to be mocked for most of his career, but that last book where he did the christian thing really did make me feel for the guy. Does anyone really deserve the crippling loneliness and despair he was so clearly experiencing in the later years? I say no. Even Godek has a wife, even if she is too constantly filled with pizza to interact with most of the time.
GeoRayzr
2021-05-06 08:20:32 +0000 UTCLet's just enjoy the warmth, RIP John Wetton. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql7cLh6MUOs
Daphne Lawless
2021-05-06 04:32:58 +0000 UTCDamnit. Itβs stuck in my head. Now Iβm gonna be singing Heat of the Moment. On the plus side Iβm gonna be singing Heat of the moment.
DeltaFoxtrot
2021-05-05 23:56:45 +0000 UTCBarfButt.com
Joel Bonasera
2021-05-05 23:29:11 +0000 UTCDiebel is always hilarious, but I loved the musical interlude. I said it last time and I will say it again: I think it would be awesome to have a compilation of Seanbaby singing to Jamie.
Jeff Orasky
2021-05-05 22:33:34 +0000 UTCI also think that for some people with poor social skills it's comforting to believe that there's a secret formula for creating satisfying human relationships (or at least sex with hot girls). Fixing your personality is really, really difficult even if you want to change and forces you to face some hard truths. It's much easier to go to a topless club and scream "Show me your bush!" at a dancer and then blame her when it doesn't work.
Melissa Albarella
2021-05-05 19:06:09 +0000 UTCOf course he's a Trumpalo. Of course.
Melissa Albarella
2021-05-05 18:57:58 +0000 UTCSo, I randomly googled "Don Diebel", expecting to se Mr. Diebel at the top of the page. Instead the first result is a touching memorial webpage about Dr. Don Diebel Jr., a kindly OBGYN who often volunteered his services to people who can't afford medical care. I want to make a joke about Mr. Diebel never getting laid while Dr. Diebel gets all of the pussy (because he's a gynecologist! Comedy!) But I won't, because Dr. Diebel was a good man who died while trying to rescue strangers from an overturned vehicle. Dr. Don Diebel deserves better than sharing a google results page with this other guy.
Vooster
2021-05-05 18:41:34 +0000 UTCWhat a tragic end
Vooster
2021-05-05 18:29:58 +0000 UTCI am also not Seanbaby and so my tolerance is not high enough to wade through the Chernobyl-like environment long enough to gather the necessary resources required for a full length article.
Joel Bonasera
2021-05-05 17:13:39 +0000 UTCPlease do a column about this so I don't have to go there myself. For I am no Seanbaby and there is only so much Diebel I can take.
Bonnybedlam
2021-05-05 17:00:39 +0000 UTCI absolutely collected and played Pogs in 4th grade. I had a decent collection amassed from the local comic book store. If you didn't buy "premium" sets, they were almost always the non-sequitor visual barrages described by Brockaway. Choose 1 or all of the following: skeletons, hotrod flames, yinyangs, skulls (not the same as skeletons), peace signs, rainbow motifs, lightning, the embodiment of "VROOM", neon after effects, a cool dude, vague international cultural references. My best slammer was of course a solid piece of brass machined into a yinyang symbol. Then one day we all moved our desks to watch a movie and I forgot my Pog tube was leaned against the side. Never saw it again. I lost a part of myself that day and will never collect Pogs to the day I die.
Joel Bonasera
2021-05-05 16:54:52 +0000 UTCY'all, Seanbaby missed a huge piece of the Diebel puzzle, his Twitter account as directed by his Amazon author's page. @singlesexperts is about 50% retweets about Trump and RHINOs, and then posts linking to his terrible articles that feature random stock images of extremely young women.
Joel Bonasera
2021-05-05 16:10:34 +0000 UTCthank you, for reals, I want DBZ pogs now
LyraV
2021-05-05 16:07:16 +0000 UTCI mean, they're selling a fantasy, and it's an incredibly stupid fantasy, so it's not like smart people are going to be dreaming up this kind of scam. Like will find like.
Steven Clark
2021-05-05 15:56:41 +0000 UTCOk, here to solve some of your questions about pogs. While they might have been a fad for a few months in the US, in Mexico they remained an integral part of child culture for DECADES. Mexican pogs, called "tazos", were distributed exclusively as prizes in bags of snacks of the Sabritas brand (Mexico's name for Lays). There wasn't an infinite variety with random images. There were specific campaigns for whatever was relevant at the time. Tiny Tunes, Dragon Ball, Saint Seiya (huge hit in early 90's Mexico), Power Rangers, Pokemon, you name it. I was born in 1988 I'm pretty sure I collected them every time they started a campaign while I was in elementary school, which must've been at least once per year, and they continued with them long after I had grown out of it, with roaring success every time they did it, I knew kids who bought kinds they didn't even like just because they had noticed those had a higher chance of containing more than 1 tazo. The game was simple, you stack them in a tower where every player places the same number, then participants take turns slamming the tower by throwing a tazo at the top of it, and keep any that get flipped [there's even a joke among Mexican gays about how straight guys are like tazos, because if you flip one it's yours]. This often resulted in scratches that in extreme cases ended up with one or both sides of the tazo being completely white, because EVERYONE played ALL THE TIME. I'm pretty sure nobody cares, but I wanted to share a bit of the useless knowledge I got from growing up in Mexico
Yeyo
2021-05-05 15:45:22 +0000 UTCThey know their intended audience because they are the same.
FancyShark
2021-05-05 15:28:39 +0000 UTCHow come these so-called pickup artists are some of the biggest and dumbest people ever, and yet find even dumber people to take them seriously? I of course don't mean the people who read these to mock.
Talking Alpaca
2021-05-05 14:58:22 +0000 UTCFor anyone unfamiliar with Diebel: βSomeone farted, letβs get out of hereβ is a genuine line he says to use and not just a brilliant joke.
FancyShark
2021-05-05 14:19:25 +0000 UTC"We love you, put your feet in our mouth" Given the books that you (collectively) voluntarily read and review, I think it is safe to say that S but mostly M is in your repertoire. Therefore, because I also love, I reply, "No." That said, maybe on your birthday, you get fourth toe, left foot, for a few minutes. But no more--got to make it special.
Dean Costello
2021-05-05 12:43:36 +0000 UTC
