Update and Reminder~!

Hello everyone and welcome to the last day of January! (I can't believe it lol)

So, first and foremost I wanted to get the reminder out of the way:

For those who are either new this month or didn't get a change to see what's going to be changing about my Patreon:

Starting the first of February, two of the old tiers will be going away! The old $5 tier, as well as the $25 tier.

What does that mean for you as Patrons? It's actually very simple: If you are on the $1 tier, the new $7 tier, and the new $20 tier, you are set and ready to go! If you are currently on the $5 tier or the $25 tier, you will need to change your tier before the end of the day today so that you can have uninterrupted access to my audios!

Tomorrow I will be removing the old $5 and $25 tier, and moving forward with just the $1 the $7 and the $20.

If you are still on the $5 or the $25 tier when I remove them, you will be removed as a Patron and be required to re-sign up for access. Unfortunately, this is the most efficient way to do this changeover, and I apologize for any of the inconvenience!

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OK, now that the reminder is over, I just wanted to give you all a little more in depth update on just how I've been doing, if there are those who are interested lol.

So this past year or so has been one of the hardest I've ever had in my life so far. I went through (and am continuing to go through) a lot of mental health struggles, as well as what my Therapist has identified as severe burn out. I had the worst mental health crisis of my life, and for about a year I've been trying to find the medication that works well with me and my life. It's been a really long road, and honestly, that combined with the burn out have been the main reasons as to why I've had such a difficult time getting audios and commissions finished.

Poor mental health, navigating ADHD, and burn out were the main causes as to why I've changed my Patreon model after nearly 5 years of it being the same. With the help of medication and therapy, I think I'm starting to understand where I struggle the most and have been doing my damndest to navigate through that as well as navigate through the burn out. 

So much of your ongoing support has been what's helped me keep going. All of your kindness and understanding patience. I know I thank you all a lot for those things, and I will continue to do so, because it is one of the things that genuinely keeps me going.

One of the hardest things I've found out about myself during this time is that I have incredibly bad Executive Dysfunction. I can plan all day every day about what I need to do, but when it comes to actually executing those tasks, my brain has an very hard time with the inciting action to get those tasks done. It's like there's an invisible wall that's keeping me from doing things I want or need to do, and no amount of pushing though it or planning around it can help sometimes. I could be sitting doing nothing while my brain is screaming at me to get something done, but I physically can't. It is incredibly frustrating and has caused me a lot of grief and guilt. I also learned that I have an incredibly hard time in determining the levels of importance for tasks, by that I mean if I were to look at a list of tasks, I would have a hard time deciding which one I should do first, because to me, they are all equally important and should be done first and immediately. I get task paralysis and that feeds into the Executive Dysfunction. This, in hand with the severe burn out? It's been especially hard to be able to work.

I know for the past few months I keep saying that 'I'm gonna catch up on everything and then everything will be fine'. Now, after thinking and executing this Patreon change, I have come to the realization that I can't do that to myself anymore, because I'm going to burn myself out even more, and cause myself (and have already caused) a lot of mental and emotional damage when inevitably I have that task paralysis or Executive Dysfunction and I can't.

Instead of promising to have things done at a certain time, I have to give myself the time and space to do it as I can while I recover. I know that means waiting longer, and I know that you all have been waiting so so patiently with me, and I understand completely if there are those who don't want to wait anymore. I cannot even tell you all how much I appreciate all that you do for me, even if you don't know what it is you're giving me by allowing me to take my time.

With this change, I've lowered my workload, and given myself time to be able to catch up in a manner that I believe won't be detrimental to my health.  So all in all, I think it's going to be a good thing.

One again I appreciate you all with all the love in my heart I can, especially as I've been going through this rough patch. I'm going to continue to forge on and figure things out, and I also appreciate you allowing me to do so and to realize that I've made mistakes, and I'm going to to my best to fix them while also being kind to myself.

I look forward to the future and thank you so much for coming along for the ride <3