~Baldur's Gate 3: Astarion X Listener SFW: Community~ {Patreon Exclusive}

You can tell that Astarion has something on his mind, more than usual. What could it be?

Contains: Confessions, Character Analysis, Slight Spoilers for BDG 3 and Astarion's storyline (very slight)

Ah yes, my first time doing Astarion's voice, and boy am I a little angry with my past self. I try not to be hyper critical of myself--you know, the 'Artist is always the most critical of their own works' thing?--and so at the very least, I feel like I got the feeling of Astarion. I might have to tweak it in the future, but regardless, this audio is here! I'm always a sucker for found family tropes, so I wanted to implement that with the theme that this audio was for. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy!

NOTE: This audio was a SFW exclusive from December of last year. Thank you for your patience!

Astarion: *pause*

Nothing……you find it odd, that I—a vampire mind you—am up late during the night time?

*pause*

I’m a vampire and a high elf, Daring….I don’t really need the beauty rest……

*pause*

I said I don’t need it…..not that I don’t want it….

*pause*

Why do I do what? You’re going to have to be more specific……

*pause*

*hums*

I….apologize…..

*pause*

Forgive me…..a….lot…..has been on my mind recently……

*pause*

Well yes, I am fond or brooding off in silence away from the lot of you…..but this is…..different…..

*pause*

I’ve come to a realization that I’m still deciding how I feel over…..

*pause*

Oh if I must…..especially if you’re going to be making puppy dog eyes at me until I do…..

*pause*

Come now, let’s…..go on a stroll….without the others……this is for….your ears only….

*Fade Out*

*Fade in*

There…..I think we’re sufficiently far away enough, now……

*pause*

Give me a moment…..I’m trying to think how I should word this without sounding like a complete—

*sighs*

—idiot…..

Forgive me….just….a moment….if you will….

*long pause*

*sighs*

It’s…….strange……for the longest time….I thought that I had to do this……all on my own……

*pause*

Exist…..in this world……

The only thing that this cursed eternal life has taught me…..is that I was the only one who was going to look out for myself…..that no one else cared…..that I needed to keep them at arms distance because I just knew that in the end, they would leave me……

*pause*

Are you truly interested in the circumstances of my many failed relationships, romantic or no?

*pause*

*huffs a laugh* I thought not…….

*pause*

Or I would fuck things up myself!

*pause*

Just finishing my thought……

Figured it would be more genuine if I admitted ‘twas not only those around me who failed…..

I failed quite a bit……trust me……

So I figured….I could depend on myself…..I could do it all myself…….

*pause*

Then I saw the sunrise for the first time in 200 years…..and even that was filled with the bittersweet notion that this thing, that allowed me to see the sun again, was inevitably going to cause me an even worse fate…….

I was even planning on using you…….abandoning or killing you in the end to achieve my own goals…..finally finally set myself free…..

That was the plan anyways……

*pause*

It changed…..when I got to know you……and….everyone else…..

*sighs*

For most of my life…..I read and heard stories about one singular person defeating the bad guy and becoming a hero…..or one person striking out and making it on their own. All for one instead of ‘one for all’ kind of thing. ….

But it took meeting you…..and the rest of our little ragtag band of merry misfits to realize the truth…..

It is not one ‘sole’ hero who gets things done no matter what the stories say……it’s not the grandest gestures that create opportunity and change…..

It’s the small things…..the everyday ordinary things…….

Befriending a vampire when you really had no reason to……

*pause*

We are—as much as we might not want to be—all in this together…….

It’s community…..that the hero relies on…….ordinary people……

*pause*

And while we by far are not the most ‘ordinary’ group any way you slice it…….you get my sentiment?

You’ve all helped me in realizing that this ‘lone wolf’ persona I’ve created for myself out of…..safety and fear……truly isn’t me…….and I don’t want to be him anymore……..

I want to find the cure for these parasites….and I want to release myself from the bonds of……..him…….and……I want to do it……with you by my side……

You’ve always believed in me…….for some ungodly reason…….even when I’ve treated you like a blood bag……

*pause*

Whatever you saw in me…..and continue to see in me……well….

Thank you…..is all I  can say, I suppose…..thank you for showing me how wrong I was…..

*long pause*

Now don’t be getting a big head since you just heard me say I was wrong…..and if you ever bring it up with any of the other’s I’ll deny it until my last breath….one must keep up appearances, Darling…….

*long pause*

*softly*

I know……hard habits to break…….

But…..thank you…..you….mean quite a bit to me……as do the others…..

A little ragtag family…..that I chose……and that chose me……

*pause*

Thank you……