Photo Story #68

Do you ever have those days when you wish you'd just stayed in bed? Days where everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong, and you wind up wishing the world would swallow you up?

Well, that's how my Saturday went!

It all started as soon as I'd had my shower. I was due to meet some friends for lunch and then take a walk along the river. I'd picked out a tank top and a snug pair of khaki cargo shorts, but when I went to get underwear, I only had one pair of clean briefs, a pair that I hadn't worn for years - they were white and skimpy and made of a weird lycra material.

I pulled them on and was surprised by how slinky the material was and how damn sexy they looked on. They hugged every curve and I couldn't deny how hot I looked them. I thought maybe it would be a good day.

How wrong I was!

I arrived at the pub for lunch and sat down with my friends, but no sooner had we ordered, it started . . . the itching. It was subtle at first, just a little itch on my right butt cheek, then it was my balls, and then within ten minutes, it felt like everything inside my briefs needed to be scratched to within an inch of its life. I had never known itching like it . . . and that was when I remembered the last time I'd worn these briefs . . . the day after I'd bought them. The briefs had caused such bad chafing and itching that I'd ended up removing them in the office restroom and taking them home in my pocket.

As soon as everyone had finished ordering, I decided to repeat the actions from my scratchy office incident. I excused myself from the table and headed straight for the restroom, unable to stop myself from scratching my butt cheeks and my crotch as I walked.

As soon as the restroom door was closed, I had my shorts down to my ankles in seconds, and my briefs quickly followed. I splashed cold water over my dick and balls and soaked my hands before wiping them over my heated cheeks. The itching died away almost immediately and I sighed with relief as I kicked away the briefs and pulled my shorts back on.

I hadn't planned on going commando, but my cargo shorts were nice and snug, so I didn't imagine I'd chafe a great deal.

The rest of lunch was a complete joy - the food was great, we laughed and talked and had the best time.

And then came the walk along the river.

By the time we'd finished lunch, a few people had to leave for other things so there was only me, my buddy Jameson and his boyfriend, Craig. It was a beautiful warm summer day and I was eager to enjoy some time outside, and although Craig didn't particularly like me, I was very much excited for the walk.

It started out well - we walked, we talked, we laughed. We wandered for nearly an hour, enjoying the sun, the coolness of being so close to the river, and the peace of seeing so many people out walking, cycling, rowing and having fun.

It was blissful!

And then we reached the gate.

To cross from one path to the next, there was a fence about four feet high with a narrow gateway where you stepped inside a fenced off circle that was just as wide as my shoulders. Once inside the circle, you had to push the gate away from you, step around it, and pull it back behind you so that you could walk through. It was a kissing gate, or that was what Craig called it.

Anyway, Jameson goes through the gate first, and Craig follows when he's through, but I decided to act like some impatient brat and started to climb the fence. I climbed so that I was stood with both feet on the top of the fence and then jumped down. Jameson and Craig were both watching and laughing at me as I climbed up, and then I jumped.

It wasn't a long distance by any means, but when I hit the ground with both feet, I dropped into a deep squat . . . and that's when the worst happened.

There was an almighty ripping sound and I immediately knew it was bad. I could feel the warm air on my butt and the back of my left thigh. And that's when I remembered that I'd taken off those damn itchy briefs and I was commando, and now totally exposed.

Jameson and Craig were laughing hysterically as I bounced back to standing and my hands flew to the back of my shorts. I had never experienced a rip like it. The shorts had torn from the waistband over my left cheek straight down to the leg band of my shorts. My thick bubble butt and my hairy thigh were both fully on show and there was no way in hell that I could cover up.

We were just over an hour away from the pub where I'd parked my car, and I had to endure that hour with Jameson and Craig laughing and joking about my predicament, not to mention the number of people they told and pointed it out to as we walked.

By the time we reached the pub, I was sweaty and blushing so much that my cheeks felt like they were on fire. I said my goodbyes as quickly as I could and dived into my car, mortified to discover that when I sat down, my balls flopped out of the rip onto my seat.

I thought the worst of my day was over, but when I got home, I checked my phone before entering the house and was confused to see a ridiculous number of notifications on both Facebook and Instagram. My confusion was short-lived when I opened Instagram and found that Craig had posted a ridiculous number of photos and videos of my exposed ass all over his feed, tagging me in every single way.

It was bad enough to endure that amount of exposure but to have it plastered over the internet so that everyone I knew would see? I was never leaving the house again.

It was hands down the worst Saturday of my life!