Episode 2: Why the hell do you want to be a slave?

Hi! 

In our second episode we discuss why someone would want to be a slave, what that means, how to manage it and how to do it safely. 

Cliff Notes: 

I've pondered the difference between submission and slavery for a while, and it is still hard to determine the defining features but there are some things I can somehow say:

- Submission makes me feel like a human being, slavery makes me feel like an object or property. 

- Submission feel like a more democratic space, especially in terms of communication, and slavery feels like there is a different method of communication. 

- Submission feels like it can be episodic, and when it is more of a permanent state, it still feels like an adjective (submissive) than a noun whereas slavery feels like a definition, part of the identity of a person. I think there is an element of how you feel v/s who you are. 

- Submission does not seem reductive, you don't become more or less, but slavery feels like it places your value on a hierarchy, and you are at the bottom. Your human value seems to diminish.

 Historically, slavery is about human property, and often when we discuss how to define not only its erotic or fetishistic side, but what it really means, we completely gloss over that.  Social power dynamics are what determine the features of dominant people or submissive people, and there is a tonne of variation, but that's not how the features of slavery are determined, they are determined (and this is not about it being "right" to do it this way, it's just about how words acquire meaning) by a historical evaluation of the term. 

- A slave owns nothing, they are owned. 

- You change their names to change their identity. Or you identify them only by numbers. 

- You place marks of identification, almost as if learning their faces would be too much of an effort. 

- Their labour is exploited. 

- Rights are not extended to them. 

These are very basic associations one makes with the term slavery, and ultimately, it is the sexual/erotic/behavioral manifestation of those things that distinguishes slavery from submission for me. It could be in the form of jewellery that you wear to identify yourself. The pronouns used to refer to you (I like "it"). Anything that brands one as property. 

Ultimately the distinct is about person versus property. 

Of course, look, this when practised in a sexual format can mean different things to different people, but for me, the defining feature, and the one that leads me to slavery instead of submission is the lack of will. I see submission as a very willing act of subverting yourself. You decide, not just at the beginning, but throughout the process, to continue giving yourself to person this way. That is not how I feel about slavery. The lack of choice is the most important part of it for me. Of course, I had a choice when we started, but going forward from that point, it's really not my choice what happens, when it happens, how long it happens and when it stops. It also doesn't matter whether I actually want to subvert my will. I'm going to. 

I would say there is a danger to the idea of slavery because in practice it often seems to take away the space for negotiation. So how do you manage that risk? 

And you also have to ask yourself: How seriously should I take this? 

There is in some ways, a long term impact to slavery like there is to masochism, and honestly I don't know if the same is true if submission. 

So then what is the allure really? Why would anyone want to do this?