I Was Going To Be A Tree.
Added 2021-06-11 05:24:25 +0000 UTCI used to wonder, so often—
Am I no good?
Trouble seems to follow me around.
I disguise myself in respectability and all shades of green, but it finds me.
Pries me out of the parched crusted Earth with a rainstorm.
Exposing the dirt and filth; washing it all away, until nothing remains.
Just a trace of me.
Unowned.
Unchained.
Unfettered, and useless.
A piece of me that wonders.
Do I really even deserve any better?
Maybe not.
But strays need love too.
I may be no good.
Sometimes I see it reflected back at me from the people I love.
Their eyes telling me that I could never be that one thing they always hoped I'd be.
Instead,
A stray with a master
An orphan with a mother.
A lost map-reader.
A whore with virtue.
A professional without any.
A lover who hurts you.
And answers without questions.
None of the branches I ever expected to sprout.
Maybe this is what I'm supposed to have.
The oppressive home for the liberal.
The desert for the water-girl.
The dance in my step without any music in my soul.
A rainstorm that washes me away each time I sprout.
Do I really deserve any better?
Maybe not.
But,
Even weeds need water to grow.
