How do we introduce degradation play into a dynamic?
Added 2022-05-12 17:41:39 +0000 UTCHere’s a few of my own tips on how to introduce degradation play into your dynamic.
I want to stress this: the way in which you approach your partner, is super important. Nobody likes the “this is good, but I want…” type of approach. Since this is for both you and your partner(s), you approach is as such! Focus on the “we” and “us” instead of the “me” and “I”. Instead, try this:
- Hey, I’m curious about degradation play. Can we experiment with it?
- I researched a little about degradation play. Let’s have a discussion about it and see if it’s something that works for us.
These are two very simple examples - but they place emphasis on exploring WITH your partner!
Negotiation is vital here - you and your partner won’t necessarily have the same soft and hard limits. Communication and understanding of each others limits (and trauma triggers) will make this exploration so much easier and safer.
Remember to use multiple safewords (eg the traffic light system) so you both can accurately gauge how well your partner is handling everything and whether it’s an enjoyable experience.
Aftercare is absolutely non-negotiable - and for degradation play I strongly recommend using loads of words of affirmation and praise, as well as debriefing.
And remember to have fun! Your first time trying with your partner doesn’t have to be super serious or intense! Baby steps 😃
