domme_claire

Update: my Patreon will replace my 250k Tiktok account

Style of Play

I’ve built my brand around my style of play - kind and cruel. I’ve often referred to myself as a chameleon dominant (I heard another d-type talk about it on Tiktok and loved it!) This is the evolved (and evolving) version of me that you see today. But what did it look like initially for me?

When I started out four years ago, my target market was cisgendered heterosexual men. That’s it. That’s who I thought would be interested in my services as a Professional Dominant....

Grounding Exercises

“I can’t seem to get into the right headspace lately…”

I’m sure you can relate to this statement, or have been able to before, whether it applies (or has applied) to you or your play partner(s).

I think this is a far more common issue that you might know! And trust me, it’s totally okay and totally normal for this to happen - regardless of what your role in the scene is. And if you think about it, it makes sense for this to happen:

• We have so much adulting ...
  2022-09-08 16:17:16 +0000 UTC View Post

I finally had a day that I am satisfied with

An Introduction to Age Regression & Age Play

I’ve been getting a similar line of questions lately: can you have Little tendencies without fully regressing? Would that be viewed as age play? Age play gets a lot of bad rep, but to be honest I think it’s vastly underrated.

Whether you’re an age regressor and/or age player - being your younger self has loads of benefits.

Age regression

Age regression is a process where the person regresses back to a younger age. This is either voluntary (t...

Parental Control Software - Part 1

This is a pretty interesting element to add to a dynamic - one that requires copious amounts of trust, vetting, and negotiations.

Let’s start with two very important questions:

Why on earth would we introduce this into our dynamic? And how has it impacted the dynamic?

Firstly, it adds to the power exchange: even though we cannot go 100% into a TPE dynamic, due to the limitations of a professional online dynamic, this sure is a step in that direction. ...

Session stories: the coin toss game

I had a really fun session today. It was the tipping point at which I decided to start sharing session stories. I’ve wondered a long while if keeping a journal of sorts about things that happen, but I’ve never gotten into journalling, try as I might. Sharing stories with you is better, in my opinion.

So, this particular submissive loves games and coming up w...

Aftercare for me as a Pro Dom

So much emphasis is placed on aftercare for subs and especially in lifestyle dynamics, which makes complete sense when there are far more lifestyle dynamics than professional dynamics. Today, I want to share more about my own journey with you with regards to aftercare for me as a Professional Dominant.

I started professionally dominating under the Domme Claire brand roughly two years ago, as lockdown was starting to ease slightly in South Africa. Back then, I didn’t know ab...

Hi all!

Hi all my lovely Patrons!

My apologies about having been so quiet these past few weeks. After the Germany trip, I needed some R&R to recover after all that stress, which was (of course) followed by PMS and now also a visit from my mom. Things have been hectic, but exciting too, as I'm getting ready to open my own dungeon in August!

I'm going to cover the following topics next:

• Parental control software
• Grounding exercises to help with...
  2022-07-11 14:03:43 +0000 UTC View Post

Q&A: do all kinks come from trauma?

I enjoy debunking nonsense statements that people throw around about BDSM. One of them (that people toss around far too proudly) is that kinks come from trauma and that kinksters are just traumatised individuals who need therapy. I can’t count how many times I’ve been on the receiving end of the “you need therapy” comment!

So let’s address this question: do all kinks come from trauma?

The answer is no.

BDSM is incredible and compl...

BTS: Getting in the headspace for filming

Here I explain how I go about getting ready for filming and getting into the right headspace, as well as how I ease out of it - which is equally important.

Feel free to post any questions you may have about my process!

ASD: Sometimes there are bad days

Sometimes there are bad days, and it is totally okay. 

Last week Monday was a meltdown day for me. These bad days can be totally random or unpredictable, and are often very sudden. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that it might also be because I sometimes struggle to read my own body's cues, often only realising something very late. For example, I often don't realise that I'm hungry until I'm on the brink of fainting. 

What do I do when it's a m...

BTS at the dungeon

Here’s a little behind-the-scenes video from this week’s filming!

I was filming Tiktoks, Patreon content, and my Store Owner Chapter 2 content for Onlyfans.

Consent check-ins during a scene

I posted this video to my Tiktok earlier this year - and it got a LOT more reactions than I thought it would. Naturally, this included trolling and negative comments from folks who didn't understand much or who took it out of context. So I decided it's a good idea to unpack some of it and discuss with you!

In the video, I mention three very basic consent check-ins that a d-type can do during a session - or that a brat may use, at their own risk. Before we get into that, let m...

Types of Degradation

Let’s discuss the different types of degradation!

This video is fairly extensive so I won’t say too much here.

Here’s my question to you:

• Which types of degradation are which limits for you? And why? (But only if you’re comfortable disclosing).
• Which types of degradation are your favourite(s)? And why?
• Do you have any tips to add for folks wanting to learn more about degradation?

Caregivers: what it means & my experience as a CG

Please note: Caregivers & Ageregressors do not have to fall under the BDSM umbrella. It is not a kink, and it is most certainly not sexual in any way.

A common misconception is that a CG is also always D-type. This does not have to be the case - a CG does not even have to be a dominant person, but simply one who wants to take care of another human. Caregivers possess traits such as caring, nurturing, gentleness, and kindness. Their ultimate desire is to ...

The Obedience App

Please note: I am sponsored by Obedience to produce a Tiktok video. However, I’m raving about it here because I love the app so much. So this is not sponsored in any way 🙅

How do I use it?

I mostly use this app for my Submissive Personal Development dynamics. These dynamics are aimed at helping folks who have mental health issues or folks who need help with achieving their goals. Obedience helps me create structure and rules, hold...

How do we introduce degradation play into a dynamic?

Here’s a few of my own tips on how to introduce degradation play into your dynamic.

I want to stress this: the way in which you approach your partner, is super important. Nobody likes the “this is good, but I want…” type of approach. Since this is for both you and your partner(s), you approach is as such! Focus on the “we” and “us” instead of the “me” and “I”. Instead, try this:

• Hey, I’m curious about degradation play. Can we experiment w...
  2022-05-12 17:41:39 +0000 UTC View Post

My ADHD chaos versus my ASD order

Life gets tricky when these two opposing neurodivergencies collide with each other - or when they battle for dominance.

I often find it challenging to balance my ADHD and ASD. The past few weeks, my ADHD has been running rampant, resulting in no routine, impulsivity and spontaneity, and so on. I almost never notice that this is what’s happening until I get a little burnt out. This has impacted my planned work schedules, sleeping routine, stay-alive habits, and definitely m...

Degradation kink: what is it?

In this video, I cover the following:

• What is a degradation kink?
• Reasons that people have a degradation kink.
• Moments of not being able to handle Felix’s cuteness.
• Arguments for and against a degradation kink.
• My thoughts on the arguments against a degradation kink.

The arguments for a degradation kink are as follows:

• It is not sexual abuse or misogyny.
• It can be cathartic for both the giver and the r...
  2022-04-21 21:03:04 +0000 UTC View Post

Overview: punishment vs funishment

This video was a request from one of you!

I would like to do a couple more videos around punishment and funishment ideas, including physical and non-physical ones.

Punishments and funishments are so much fun - and a great opportunity to become creative! Part of why they’re so fun is that they’re so incredibly customisable and I get to experience and play with this in my various dynamics.

As always, everything must be negotiated in your dynamic with your partner(s) and ...

How did you get into the lifestyle? 👀

This is always one of the first questions that I’m asked whenever someone finds out that I’m a pro dom!

So, here’s my story:

I’ve always been dominant - oldest child, had to take care of mom and younger sister, that kinda thing - and I’ve always been dominant with men. It’s always felt natural. So when I started working as an exotic dancer in 2018, it was no different. I had to be in charge there, especially because the clients had the habit of being drunk and/or high...

My experience at the Kink Up Cape Town party!

I ATTENDED MY VERY FIRST BDSM PARTY!!

The event was organised by Sub Rosa Dictum, who have organised various events around Europe and now want to help develop the community in Cape Town. I love that, of course.

Here’s their website, if you’re curious about it: https://subrosadictum.de/

I told my mom about this amazing experience last night and she just kept saying “wow”.

The irony of this whol...

Let’s discuss the psychology behind a praise kink

From my own experience with submissives, I have seen that praise and degradation kinks often go hand in hand. We can (often) thank childhood trauma for both of these! No surprise there. We will discuss the praise kink first!

So, the praise kink stems from the need for validation and approval - maybe your parents never made you feel that your accomplishments were enough, regardless of how well you did and how many things you achieved.

This can also be linked to daddy issues. Pleas...

Setting boundaries and limits - Part 2

In this video I explain a bit more about setting your boundaries and negotiating them in your dynamic.

Remember that boundary and limit negotiations can happen at any point in the dynamic. Boundaries and limits change as you play more and evolve and learn more about yourself! Therefore, they will need to be updated regularly.

A little tip here: create an online document (or use the Obedience app) so that you and your partner(s) can make updates in real time.

As always, yo...

Setting boundaries and limits - Part 1

Here is my very first educational video!

As requested, I cover the basics of setting boundaries and limits within your dynamic.

Feel free to add your thoughts and opinions!

Sharing my experiences with ASD & ADHD

I’ve decided that I will be sharing my experiences with autism and ADHD in my everyday life, as well as how it affects my work and BDSM dynamics. I feel that this is part of creating an inclusive community here, because there are so many neurodivergent folks in the world - even (or especially) in BDSM.

Green flags in BDSM: part 1

I’m just going to give a brief explanation and examples here of the three green flags I listed in this video.

Vetting & negotiations:

This is essential to any dynamic, even vanilla ones. The vetting process is comparable to a job interview - both the employeer and employee must participate, ask questions, and decide whether they would be a good fit together. Vetting has to take place BEFORE the dynamic can be consented to.

Negotiations can h...

PSA regarding my one-tier Patreon

Announcement: I’m downscaling to one, all-inclusive tier!

My reasons are simple and straightforward:

1. It makes my life much easier if I don’t have to keep track of which tiers have which benefits (on top of the thousands of other things in my head).

2. I want my safe and educational space to be accessible to everyone, without placing financial strain on anyone.

That’s it!

PS please make sure to switch your pledge to the $5 tier so that only that amount is deducted from your ...