Pantsed on the Patio

I have seen every ENM scenario over the past few years, so now, when I see some video of a guy getting pantsed or finding out that he was wearing dissolvable swim trunks in a public pool, I try to come up with an elaborate story to go along with it. After seeing a gif come across my tumblr dash, this is the story that popped into my head to go along with it.

Pinching my arm, I confirmed one more time that all of this was actually happening. I could feel that sharp pinch, and I could feel the cold cocktail that I was holding in my other hand. The man in front of me had the perfect amount of stubble, a smile capable of melting me into a puddle, and under that slightly crumpled suit that he was wearing, I could tell that he had a nice body too.

He'd walked into the bar about five minutes earlier, and there had been just enough room beside my stool for him to wedge himself against the counter. In some bout of confidence, I’d told the bartender to put his freshly ordered drink on my tab if he decided to stay and chat with me. That’s when I first saw his smile, and I was hooked.

“I’ll meet up with you two later.”

Bidding adieu to my two friends at the bar, one giving me a thumbs up and the other pretending to give his thumb a blow job to embarrass me, I followed the suited man out onto one of the patios to have a little more peace and quiet to get to know each other.

There was a high-top table over near the fence that was missing its chairs, and we headed over there for a spot to rest our drinks. He also took it as a location to lay his discarded jacket, and he rolled up his shirtsleeves over his defined forearms.  

“My name’s Jake.”

“Rob.”

“Well then Rob, tell me about yourself.”

I was taking a second to think about what I wanted to say, but I wouldn’t get the chance to answer. Not with my fuckass friends ready to ruin it all.

Just like he’d been doing since we were back in high school, I felt Brian’s hands wrap around my waist, and even though I knew what was about to happen, I wouldn’t have time to stop it. As my pants descended to my ankles, I heard Tommy’s distinctive laugh, and I turned to toss the ice in the bottom of my cocktail in that general direction. Maybe it was to just prove to Jake that this wasn’t some bit that we had planned or maybe it was just pure instinct from years of him thinking that pantsing people was still hilarious.

Whatever the reasoning, it fucked me over because I didn’t realize how crowded the patio had gotten since we’d stepped outside. Tommy and Brian were behind me, but there was another man with his date right beside them. He is the one who got the unexpected ice bath, and he was not joining in on the laughter.

“What the fuck is your problem, man?”

No amount of explaining would fix this, and even if it could, he wasn’t going to give me time. Stepping forward, I looked up at his face, and I saw his muscular arms reach towards me.

I’m about to get beat up because Brian wanted to show my date that I wore bikini briefs…

His hands made contact, but they weren’t balled up into fists. He instead grabbed me by my shirt collar, and I envisioned him lifting me up next to watch me dangle there with my feet swinging. My feet stayed on the ground though- my shirt is actually what moved. Keeping a hold on the collar, he ripped my shirt down the middle and began using it to wipe my drink off of his face and chest.

As everyone around us turned my way to see what was going on, I finally put together the pieces of what they were seeing. I hadn’t had a chance to pull up my pants so they were still around my ankles, and my shirt had been completely obliterated and torn off of my body. That meant that I was standing in the corner of this increasingly crowded patio wearing nothing but a pair of thin bikini briefs that was clinging to my sweaty frame.

I couldn’t look down at myself to see how truly humiliating this was, but as people began to raise up their phones, I knew that I could have the chance to still see the image somewhere online.

Leaning down, I grabbed onto my waistband and pulled my pants up over my thighs so that I could run out of there to my car, but my exposure wasn’t done yet. Somehow, Jake wasn’t ready to abandon me completely, and he tried to reach forward to grab onto me, to try and stop me and soothe the situation. Instead, his fingers just barely grabbed onto my tiny undies, and as I kept running, the sound of ripping fabric rose above the crowd once again.

“Oh my god- I’m so sorry!”

He was holding the baby blue fabric in his hands, and as I turned to see his shocked face, my pants fell out of my grasp one last time which left me completely exposed. My cock was now out in the open, and I was frozen in shock. There were too many eyes on me, and I could feel the cool breeze blowing over too many body parts that were normally blocked by clothing. Every inch of skin from mid-calf to the top of my head was viewable to all, and if Tommy hadn’t lifted my pants up for me and slapped my ass to get me in motion, I’m not sure how long I would have stayed there like that.

The crowd didn’t want to move out of my way, and there were too many hands reaching towards me and into my still undone jeans to count. Finally, I broke free and saw my car only three spaces away, and I sped for it, locking the door safely again once I got inside.

It wouldn’t be until I finally got back to my place that I felt one ounce of relief as I looked down at my phone. Tommy had sent one text, and there were ten numbers in it with no message. Hoping that they were what I thought they were, I clicked the phone number and waited for a response. Jake picked up on the second ring.

I thought it would take until at least the third date to get you out of your clothes, so I’m impressed at how much time that you saved. Let’s meet without your friends next time.