Back from the grave of happiness...

Dear loyal patrons, This is gonna be a lengthy apology as thats the only thing i can do ( and fulfilling rewards ). Im sorry i have been gone for long, i just got back from vacation and try to enjoy life as the whole year ( before my vacation ) was lonely and hectic. And nope! Not asking for sympathy. But u know that feeling like, ur doing well to whatever u put ur mind into but u dont know if its worth it or u really want it? The feeling of not wanting criticism coz u work so hard that when people criticize u. U just get pissed, be stressed and just wanna quit?. Also the feeling of another years have passed and u seem to not have direction in life that ur just all around the place and no destination or a clear plan of what ur really doing?. Thats how i felt!. I almost quit cosplay as i love that people love what i do and people support me. But i didnt think the deadline and peer pressure and stress is not worth the eyebags i used to have!. But everything changed after anime expo when people shows me kindness and love and help me keep on moving on. But i was really a strand of hair to freaking quitting!.. I work hard. I make proper cosplay and props and armors and u all know i dont take the easy route!. I like the art aspects, details and badassery. As a wig and a bikini aint enough ( no offence ) just so much work doing my own shoots and planning and directing and i do it all by myself. But then if i quit patreon i cant make cosplays as much as i want. So im conflicted!... I wanna say sorry for my absence but the retreat is needed. I dont promote my patreon junr and july as honestly ( i dont wanna work! ) i just wanna enjoy life, my youth, and how i was before i slaved to cosplay. I wanna see what its like outside again and reconnect to my old self. And now with a clearhead and more open mind i probably am ready. June and july rewards will be posted here. Currently working for it. If not end of next week probably wednesday the following week. Im ready to release my work. Also lost my phone in the club. A lot of contents are in there and i lost everything including pvt emails and access codes to everything important. I just recovered my email last night and damn!... all the emails i have to answer :(... Changes. Im more open about it now. Censorship on my topless pics ruins the pictures. Its pointless as everything is covered by flare anyway. From noe on tier 40 above will have uncensored topless. ( my model friend in l.a talked me to it after seeing my patreon photos ) im not scared to do it. Ive done it before so fuck it!... Im trying to figure out how to video chat to everyone. Discord is quite hard to figure out. Little by little ill get shit back going. Literally figuring out just now of what really to post as rewards but fuck it. Its my fault anyway. But also not sorry as i find happiness again. But sorry i let people down. Thank u so much for all these beautiful support. Im not the best artist but im working on bettering myself daily. I love u all. Without all of u. These art wont happen. Again rewards will be posted here. And again. Im sorry i hope u all forgive me. Thank u my friends!....