Chapter no.4 The Heart's Shadow

I opened my eyes.
In fact, it was unclear whether my eyes were open or still closed in this place.
Whether I opened my eyes or closed them, all I could see was darkness
I laid still and tried to gauge how much time had passed.
It didn't seem like a long time had passed since I didn't feel hungry.
For the past few days, I had lived by eating moss on the walls.
I thought I would never get used to it, but to my surprise and horror, I got used to the hellish taste of moss even though it leaves my tongue numb like a corpse, but it doesn't feel as disgusting as it used to be.
After solving my hunger like that, many thoughts flooded my mind like a tidal wave.
It was quiet here.
There was no sound outside.
I couldn't see ahead, so I couldn't feel the passage of time.
It was obvious that anyone would go crazy if they were locked up here but i had to hold my mind tight.
Who knows what was the plan of the bastards that had trapped me here so I couldn't afford to lowered my guard.
I constantly repeated my name and tried not to lose my identity.
To think that the mocking name those prostitutes used to throw at me would become the name I would cherish in this place.
But I didn't how long my sanity would last like this.
When I was hungry, I scraped the moss on the wall and licked the running water.
I had to persevere in order to survive.
I thought that I was getting thinner and leaner.
When I escape from this place, maybe I should open up a shop where I guarantee that you could get thin.
I just have to keep the customer trapped inside a dark room until they get thin.
Yes, yes, I will make millions !
While lost in my insane ideas to get rich, my foot grazed against the moss on the wall.
I knew that moss on the wall was not infinite unlike a teenagers delusions.
The day when all the moss disappears will probably be my last. Still, I thought I'd stick with it until then.
Sometimes I wonder why I was holding on so badly like this.
If I would just give up, my body could have been more comfortable with sweet release of death.
Then again I didn't know that if I died but if I was dead, I wouldn't have to suffer like this.
Such temptations came often.
Maybe I should just give up.
Each time, I bit my lip and endured.
Overcoming the temptation of death, my mouth was torn and bursting.
One day I found that the walls suddenly felt peculiar.
When I looked up, I saw someone looking down at me
'What, Who's there?!'
I questioned.
The iron gate was clearly firmly shut.
There was no sign of anyone coming in from the outside.
Above all, it made no sense to see someone else's figure in this pitch-black darkness.
I still couldn't see my hand in this deuced place.
'It's not real. Is it a dream?'
I tried to tell myself as I raised my head and looked at the person looking down at me.
The man with a skinny face and body and empty eyes strangely resembled me.
'It's me.'
It was then that I realized that the man I was facing was another version of myself.
As if I was seeing myself in a mirror that turns people ugly.
In an extremely cornered situation, one would start to see things that you would never see in the normal way.
I asked my inner self.
"What the hell are you looking at ugly ?"
My inner shadow replied.
{ For what reason are you enduring so recklessly? Just let it go. If you let it go, it will be easier }
I narrowed my eyes as I didn't expect him to actually answer.
The Shadow asked { Why are you holding on so hard? For what reason when you don't have anything. What is a bastard who has nothing to protect endures so recklessly ? }
"I don't see a tall woman with a fat ass here so I don't think I have some there something I must protect."
{ It's funny, why do you struggle so much because you can't afford to waste your life? Give up. Giving up makes it easier }
"Will you really feel comfortable?" For the first time since talking to this entity, I seriously asked.
{ What? }
"Will it really be comfortable when you let go? I don't think so."
{ You're going to die }
"I beg to differ, I'm going to live. It's a life that I can't afford to lose. I'm going to survive and see the end."
{ You're just talking nonsense }
"It would be ashame to die like this. I'll put a knife through the guy's skull who imprisoned me here. If I don't then I won't be able to close my eyes even if I die."
{ .... }
"So, I'm going to live. I'm going to live like a vicious person and get revenge on everyone who made me this way and then I am going to find a tall girl with a fat ass to marry."
My inner self squatted down and stared in my eyes.
" I'm not that pretentious to be into myself."
{ .... }
{ Are you really going to get revenge? }
"Yes."
{ You won't give up? }
"Do you see my dream girl in my hands, huh !"
{ .... }
{ You won't give up ? }
" ( ~Sigh~ ) " I closed my eyes but the inner self was still there.
{ You won't give up ? }
" I won't !"
My inner self smiled, as if he liked my answer, I also smiled back with a chuckle.
What was I doing ? Arguing with myself if I wanted to give up.
At that moment, I opened my eyes.
My inner self was gone.
I realized that I had woken up from a
dream. At the same time, I realized that the
other self I had seen was not just a dream rather it was my heart's desire if I would give up.
The darkness really drives people crazy.
I had passed a new hurdle unknowingly. If I truly had the will to carry out my revenge or not.
"Hu!" I sighed.
Suddenly behind my back, a weird symbol glowed with a faint blue light. The symbol had a complex design that resembled four interconnected axe blades around a small round shield.
For a second, my entire prison was lit up as I caught a glimpse of symbols and pictures decorating the walls under the moss.
Even with the feeble light, my eyes hurt as if they were about to explode.
Eyes that have adapted to darkness react violently to weak light.
Chunkyung!
Suddenly, the window at the bottom of the
iron gate opened with a dull sound.
The space was only small enough to fit one
small plate.
A faint light peered through the space.
Suk!
A small plate popped inside. And the window was closed again.
My sense of smell was the first to respond.
'Food?'
••●••••●••••●••••●••••●••
[ 4 years ago ]
( ~ Cough ~ )
The sound broke the comfortable silence as the birds flew in the clear blue sky.
Chen A-Ting's dark brown hair swayed in the breeze as she looked on in awe as her burly grandfather stood over a downed man.
" ~ Cough ~ ~ Cough ~ Old bastard," The downed man looked up with fury in his eyes as blood dripped from his mouth and nose," If you don't kill me now sooner or later I'll kill you."
Chen Yansheng, the old man looked down on the downed man as he said," I only killed ya pops that year because he has tens of lives on his hands, being a bandit and a murderer. Ya haven't done anything yet, so I'll spare ya."
Chen Yansheng turned around to his granddaughter while saying," Ya pops wasn't as skilled as me, so he died. If you were able to kill me, well, I wouldn't be able to say much about that."
Chen Yansheng patted A-Ting's head as he said," Let's go."
With fury filled eyes, Ming Fei shouted out," Who cares if you're the best around ?! You're already so old ! Your body will soon collapse and fail you ! While I'm in my prime with plenty of years ahead of me ! When the time comes, all you'll be able to do is wait for me to cut your head off !"
Meng Fei's words caused the 14 year old Chen Ating to exclaim," You lowlife, when the time comes you'll be fighting me."
••●••••●••••●••••●••••●••
( ~ Whoosh ~ )
( ~ Oww ~ )
Water flowed down the small creek as Chen Ating cried out in pain as she rubbed her forehead.
" He insulted you first, why did you hit me ?" Ating asked while her grandpa blew on the hot potato in his hands.
( ~ Puff ~ )
( ~ Puff ~ )
Chen Yansheng glanced at Ating before saying," He's not my grandkid, so why would I give a damn ?"
" Hmph " Chen Ating said as she took a bite off the potato her grandpa gave her.
( ~Slich~ )
Hearing the sounds of woodcraft, Ating looked up to see her grandpa making something.
" Another wooden sword ! Ating doesn't need another wooden sword ! " Ating wined as she pointed at the dao sword on Chen Yansheng's back.
" Ating doesn't want a wooden sword! Ating wants a metal sword." Chen Ating said while trying to pull her grandpa's dao sword from the sheath.
Chen Yansheng happily sang while carving out a wooden sword for his granddaughter while she tried to pull out his sword.
Suddenly Chen Yansheng stood up and pulled his granddaughter into a hug.
Ating while confused tried to pull away as her grandpa's bushy white beard irritated her face.
" Grandpa ?"
" Shhhh "
Chen Yansheng said as he waited quietly and seeing her grandpa's actions, Chen Ating also went quiet as an eerie silence engulfed the forest they were staying at.
Wind swayed the grass and leaves in a beautiful dance as Chen Yansheng and Chen Ating stood there in silence beside the fire.
" Rwrrr !"
A gigantic goliath of a brown bear suddenly appeared behind Chen Yansheng whose eyes widened.
Pushing his feet onto the ground, Chen Yansheng launched himself into the air as the bear's paws sliced where he was originally at.
Chen Yansheng twisted his body midair with Chen Ating in his hands.
Throwing his granddaughter upwards, Chen Yansheng pulled out his Dao sword and using the momentum of his previous turn he turned his sword towards the bear's neck.
( ~ Slissssh ~ )
The sound of flesh tearing echoed throughout the forest as blood splashed into the creek beside them.
...
A few minutes later, Chen Ating stood a few meters away from the corpse of bear as she saw her grandpa collect it's blood in a jar.
" G-Grandpa." Chen Ating said as she saw what appeared to be wolves at the distance.
One of the wolves called out," Old Hero !"
As the wolves got closer, Chen Ating's dark brown eyes gazed upon men in their late 20's wearing cloaks made from the hide of grey wolves.
" Old Hero ! Yer our village's saviour !"
" Quick, Go tell the village chief t' prepare a feast !"
" Old Hero ! No, Old Saviour ! "
" Hahaha, this bastard finally met his end !"
.....
[ Gaoling Village ]
In the small rural village , east of the imperial capital , a celebration was occuring.
" That bear deserved to die a painful death. It had already taken so many lives." The Village Chief, Xu Bushi said as roasted duck, pork dumplings were laid before Chen Yansheng and Chen Ating.
A woman in her late thirties asked," Ya got a good appetite hero ! There are still five more courses on the way."
Meanwhile Xu Bushi looked at Chen Yansheng with a melancholic look in his eyes.
" To kill that scourge, so many of our hunters ~Sigh~ I was afraid that Bear would turn into a demon beast."
" Well, I am sure a celestial would have appeared if that thing were to turn into a demon beast." Chen Yansheng said while eating a dumpling.
" Grandpa, what's a celestial?" Chen Ating asked curiously.
" Well, if ya want to know then, celestials are the true rulers of the world."
" Isn't the Emperor the ruler ?" Ating asked.
" Nah, even an Emperor would bow to a celestial. Celestials are beings beyond our mortal understanding. A mortal could only gaze upon a celestial when the celestial needs something from them." Chen Yansheng answered.
" Did you ever see a celestial, Gramps ?"
" Yeah, my master was a rouge celestial or as he called himself a rouge cultiva....."
Chen Yansheng's words were cut off by a young woman in her early 20s shouting out as she held onto the hand a 7 year old child.
" Old Saviour!"
The woman and child suddenly kowtowed to Chen Yansheng while exclaiming," Zhou Liu Shi and Nuo'er are grateful for your great and honourable deed. Please accept this gift."
Chen Yansheng looked at the mother and child in confusion.
Xu Bushi took this opportunity to say," None more suffered from then this mother and child. Nuo'er's father and grandfather were victims of the bear. Nuo'er's father was our village's best hunter."
The woman cried out while saying," Should you insist on refusing our gift. Please allow us to host you for a time. Please allow me to repay you on the behalf of my father and husband."
Chen Yansheng quietly gazed upon the woman as he ate his dumplings.
" Old Hero, if you aren't in a hurry, why don't you stay here for a while ? You are traveling with a child - it should be alright to rest for a bit at least."
( ~ Rip ~ )
Chen Ating tore apart the meat before munching on it.
Gazing upon his granddaughter, Chen Yansheng sighed.
" I s'pose we'll be troubling ya for a time then"
What Old man Chen Yansheng didn't realize was that this decision that he had just made would result in a great suffering to befall on his precious granddaughter?