Checklist Chapter

CHECKLIST CHAPTER

For what was going to be the last time, so long as he had anything to say about it, the nosy butler with the head of a fish questioned his completely sane and entirely rational decisions.

“And you’re absolutely sure it’s wise to be making such crucial decisions at this critical juncture while you’re in such a… compromised state?”

“What do you mean? Of course it’s wise! It’s just a little soul damage,” he thumped his chest where the ability cube sat. “I can handle it! Did somebody say I couldn’t handle it?! I’m a god, Pufferfish-man! A god! Do you hear me, a mother-forking god!”

“Very well sir. Though, if I might remind you for the sixth time today, my name is Simon, sir.”

“Simon-shimon! It’s Pufferfish-man all the way for me! Isn’t that right good buddy!”

“Guh-Hyuck!”

“See?! Even he agrees!”

“G-george… not you too…?”

“Guh-Hyuck….?”

Simon gave a weary sigh.

“I implore you sir. Though it behooves me to advocate for my own banishment into the void, I cannot in good conscience advise that you proceed as you are.”

“As I am?” Richard snapped. “And what’s so wrong with how I am?!” his eyes narrowed. “What do you know? Who told you?! Was it her!? Oh gods…” suddenly all the anger in his voice was replaced by sorrow. “Elise… my god…. what have I done…?”

“See, it’s behavior like this that greatly concerns me.”

“Meh! I’m still gonna do it anyway,” he said, just as chipper as ever.

“Of course, sir…”

“Now, what do you think of my title? It’s a bit of a work in progress, I will admit, but I think it has legs.”

BEEF-CAKED OR BUST.

Big R’s Revolutionary Action Plan To Get Wicked Jacked And Mega Ripped In All the Right PlacesTM.

“S-sir! When on earth did you have time to get it trade marked!?”

“No time! Onto step one!”

Step 1) Get Buff.

As with all good training arcs, the number one goal, the one that eclipses all others, is to get as beef-caked up as is humanly possible in the limited time allotted. Just absolutely shredded. Arnold Schwarzenegger’d to the max. Really make those calories work for you, and not the other way around. If you can still touch your toes by the end of it, you’re not doing it correctly.

[Increase Personal Parameters]

Strength — [22 of 90]

Endurance  [21 of 90]

Regeneration — [16 of 90]

Control — [38 of 90]

Mana Capacity — [10 of Unknown]

Step 2) Teach Stuff.

Every training arc needs a wisened mentor. A hermit sage from fireside tales and ye old legends. Eager to drop some knowledge bombs on unsuspecting plebes. Always ready with a wisecrack or a pithy remark. And since no one else was especially qualified, I suppose the duty falls to me. Gonna be hard to get that old man smell just right, but I’m sure I’ll manage.

[Help Penelope Reach Her Penultimate Form]

v Percentage to Penultimate Penelope: (0.01%)

Step 3) Diamond in the Rough.

And let us not forget the most important aspect of a simply phenomenal training arc. The part where I gather up all the things I haven’t gotten around to yet, and just, sort of, line them up. Like ducks in a row. I call it Diamond in the Rough, because, for every unlucky duckling I blast to kingdom come, my future shines all the brighter.

[Polish Off Checklist In Preparation For Devil’s Arcadia]

v SOUL SEAL – PERCENTAGE OF COMPLETION: (7%)

v ENHANCED METABOLISM – LEVEL OF PROFICIENCY: (16%)

v FLESH MANIPULATION – LEVEL OF PROFICIENCY: (0%)

v INCREASE BODY PRESTIGE

v INCREASE SOUL GRADE

 v KILL A LVL 15 NAMED ELITE

 v GAIN A CLASS

v EVOLVE TO F GRADE

v GRIND TO LEVEL 50

 v EXPLORE SHAPERS LEGACY

DAYS LEFT BEFORE RARE CLASS CUT OFF DATE: (12/15)

“There! I should think that sums it up rather nicely!”

“As you say, sir… as you say…”

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