Department of Housewife Health and Happiness: Chapter 4

Chapter 14

The First Job

Harry, Ron, Daphne, and Astoria sat in a room on the second floor of Greengrass Manor. Portraits of the old family heads hung on the walls; Harry couldn’t tell if they were enchanted or not because they weren’t moving. Harry and Ron sat in plush recliner seats while the Greengrasses, as hosts, sat in slightly nicer (read: more expensive) chairs of similar make. Daphne was staring at her fingernails, her large tits still almost spilling out of her bathrobe, as if Harry and Ron didn’t even qualify as men she would need to cover up for. Astoria, despite smiling, managed to be even less pleasant. 

“I hope this room doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” Astoria said. “Father used it to accommodate guests. I’m sure you’ve rarely seen anything like it.”

Harry smiled back, crinkling his eyes. He pointed at the curtains. “Acromantula silk.” He pointed at a metallic coat-of-arms hanging on the wall behind the host’s seats. “Centenial silver.” He plopped his feet on the coffee table between them. “Goblin-make. Vintage, too, from the grooves.”

“And more expensive than you could afford with a year’s worth of Auror salary,” Astoria said sweetly. 

“Oh, yeah, it’s highway robbery what they charge,” Harry said. “Ginny and I got one as a wedding gift, but we already had a table her great grandmother made, so we pawned it off. Maybe that’s where you got this one?”

“Why am I not surprised that a Weasley doesn’t know the first thing about decor?”

“Hey!” Ron said. 

He’d been content to stay out it and leave the talking to Harry, but he felt the need to speak now. Astoria lifted a brown eyebrow. Ron crossed his arms. “For the record, I’m mad on Ginny’s behalf. Merlin knows I could care less.”

“That’s always been how it is, isn’t it?” Daphne drawled, still looking at her nails. “No interest in anything but Quidditch and food.”

Ron stayed silently for a second, then leaned over to Harry. 

“Mate, I didn’t know she knew me so well. Do you think she’s a stalker?”

“Everyone knows that much, Ron,” Harry whispered back. “They could probably hear you chewing across the Great Hall.”

Astoria was still staring at Harry’s heels on the coffee table. “Shall I bill the Ministry for damages? I do hope they can pay. From what I’ve heard…” She smirked. “It doesn’t look good.”

“And yet, you’re the one who came crawling to them for your needs to be met.” Harry smiled. “Whining to Lisa daily from the sound of it, begging ‘When oh when will you send big and strong men for us?’”

“A shame they never did,” Astoria said. 

“Ouch. If you’re so sure, why don’t you come over here and check?”

Harry flexed his arms, but Astoria barely looked.

“Still living off of Quidditch memories I see, Potter. That was years ago now. Not all of us peaked in Hogwarts.”

“Catching the Snitch over your husband, listening to the crowd roar, celebrating with girls afterward… that was all pretty fun. But personally I’d say I peaked when I slayed the greatest Dark Lord the country’s ever seen.” Harry smirked. “I haven’t gotten lazy since then. I'm the best that I’ve ever been— physically, magically, and in bed. I can do things that an eighteen-year-old me couldn’t dream of. Like this, for example.”

Non-verbally, wandlessly, Harry’s magic latched onto Astoria’s panties and summoned them straight out from under her dress.

Astoria shrieked cutely as her legs were lifted up. A thin scrap of lacy fabric shot into Harry’s hands. He turned the thong over, running his fingers along the rubber-band-thin fabric that had been nestled between Astoria’s arse cheeks. “It seems someone was excited for today.”

“That— I put it on before I knew it was you who would show up!” Astoria said. “Now give it back!”

As she said it she was turning her hips to the side slightly, clamping her thighs together. It could’ve been because she was worried about giving them a view up her dress… But Harry had been around the block enough times to recognize arousal. He’d put a hundred Galleons on Astoria’s crotch being a sopping mess right now.

Harry took his legs off the coffee table and spun the thong around his finger. “Sure, I’ll give it back. Come over here and take it.”

“Why do I have to do that?” Astoria demanded. She blushed and crossed her arms, but stood up, doing as Harry said.

When she got close enough she reached for her underwear. Harry pulled it away at the last second. Astoria tried to extend her swipe and lost her balance, tumbling into his lap.

“Careful there,” Harry said. Their faces were close. His arm had looped around her waist when she fell, holding her steady. “We wouldn’t want any accidents to happen, would we?”

“You’re such a prick!” Astoria hissed, blushing brightly.

She snatched her thong back from him. She moved like she was going to stand up, but she never did. She wiggled her rear and grinded it against Harry’s lap. She touched his forearm. Instead of pulling it off of her, she squeezed with all ten of her fingers.

“Well. It doesn’t seem you’re a liar,” Astoria said. “You still exercise a bit.”

“Should I show you what else I can do?” Harry asked.

Astoria’s fingers climbed his arm, squeezing him repeatedly until she’d gotten all the way up to his forearm.

“You’re an incorrigible flirt.”

“I was called here to do a job.” Harry tilted his head. “I have no intention of leaving without following through.”

Astoria’s wiggling had caused a chain reaction in Harry’s pants. Something was growing. Astoria felt it swelling, and swelling, shooting past the size of anything she was used to…

She met Harry’s smirking lips like a dam had broken. Twisting her body, she pushed her hips down even harder. Harry grabbed her lower back with both hands and pulled her close. The sound of their smacking tongues filled the room

“Seriously, Astoria?” Daphne grumbled. “How horny were you to settle for him?”

“Plenty of witches are into Harry,” Ron said. “It’s not strange that she would too.”

“Ah, yes, Ronald Weasley. Truly an expert on the minds of women.”

“Yeah, I’m a dense bloke,” Ron said. “But it’s not like they’re subtle about it.” He shrugged. “Besides, we were called here to have sex. Technically, we’re on the clock.”

Daphne chuckled. “Weasley and Potter— from war heroes to male escorts.”

“Hey, it’s not a career I pictured myself in, but if our clients are all as beautiful as you I’d do it for free.”

Daphne froze. “What did you just say?”

“That I’d do it for free—”

“Before that.”

“That it’s not a career I pictured myself in?”

“Merlin,” Daphne muttered under her breath. “I’m asking if you called me beautiful 1”

“Oh! Yeah, I did. It’s true isn’t it?”

Daphne looked at Ron in a peculiar way.

“Describe how,” she said. “Be specific.”

“Well you’ve got these really big—”

Daphne's expression turned bored again.

“—blue eyes. Nice hair, too— I’ve always had a thing for blonds I think. Plus, I mean, your face is pretty much perfect. What about you isn’t beautiful?”

“Eeep!”

Ron actually looked around to see who made the noise, because it didn’t sound like something that could’ve come from the Greengrass girls. Astoria had her tongue halfway down Harry’s throat while his hands had settled on her butt. She was grinding on him relentlessly, moaning occasionally, but it couldn't have been her that squeaked. 

Looking at Daphne’s face confirmed where it came from. The eyes Ron complimented as big had gotten bigger, while her cheeks had turned bright pink.

“You feeling alright?” Ron stood up, starting to come over. “Are you sick or something Daphne? I’ve never seen you look like that.”

Daphne flinched further back in her seat. Her robe that had already been loose slid so far down you could see half the areola on one of her breasts.

“Say… Say it again.”

Ron was lost, but he’d never been the type to turn down a heartfelt request.

“You’re beautiful, especially your eyes, and your hair, and—”

“Okay!” Inexplicably, Daphne raised her voice. She was still blushing so badly Ron was worried she would pass out. “That’s enough!”

Scratching his head, Ron started to go back to his chair, but before he could his arm was grabbed.

He found himself pulled into Daphne’s seat. Daphne slipped out of it at the same time, letting his back hit the upholstery.

“What’s this about?” Ron asked.

“Just… stay still.” Somehow, Daphne's blush was getting even worse. “And stay quiet.” 

She put her body in between his spread legs and kneeled over Ron’s crotch. Her breasts bounced as she quickly moved her arms and opened his pants. Ron’s jaw dropped. Daphne moved like a starving animal, with his cock as her prey. The second she freed his member she devoured it.

“Aaaaaaaahhh–hhmm,” was the sound of her mouth descending onto him. Daphne’s eyelids spasmed as she fought to suck on all of him. Her first attempt was worse than Lavender. The second attempt she got a bit deeper, and the third was better still. Daphne fought to conquer Ron’s cock, gagging and slurping the whole time.

On the other side of the table, Harry had flipped Astoria’s dress up over her hips. The panties he’d stolen had been tossed aside, thrown so far that they caught on the corner of one of the room’s portraits. Harry’s fingers kneaded Astoria’s supple flesh. Once they had a good hold on her, he squeezed so hard that she moaned into his mouth.

Astoria sat back, grinding her now bare pussy on the bulge inside Harry’s pants. She planted her hands on the armrests to keep herself stable. Harry smirked and went after her neck. He bit her flesh, marking her in a place no one could miss.

“Stop! Others will see!” Astoria said.

Harry popped his lips off her skin, his teeth already having done the damage. “What’s wrong, desperate to keep this a secret? That Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy secretly rode the shit out of Harry Potter—”

“Gah!” Astoria said.

She grabbed Harry’s head and dragged it back to her body, deciding she would prefer to be marked than teased by him. Harry bit her everywhere, turning everything that stuck out of her low-cut dress into a splotchy collage of pinks and purples.

“Daphne,” Ron said meanwhile. “Maybe you should slow down a bit?”

Tears were pouring out of the eyes of the elder Greengrass. She’d come to meet them without any makeup, which was the only reason Ron’s cock wasn’t completely smeared color. His veins shined with her spit.

“Does it not feel good?” Daphne asked, an almost invisible tremor in her voice.

“It feels bloody brilliant,” Ron said. “But you’re going too fast. You’ll give yourself a sore throat!”

“You’re… concerned about me?”

“Yeah, is that strange? I don’t want you to feel like crap—”

Daphne growled like a she-wolf in heat and swallowed Ron’s meat with a vengeance. She attacked his stiffy so violently that her robe started to slip. Without hesitating or taking her mouth off his dick, Daphne brushed it all the way down to her hips. Her healthy rack was let out to breath, pooling on Ron’s thighs. “Merlin!” Ron said. “Those are almost as big as Lavender’s.”

His head jerked back as he heard a crash. After flinching, he realized it was nothing to be worried about; Harry had just slammed Astoria down on the Goblin made coffee table.

He held Astoria’s throat with one hand, watching as she chaffed against this touch. With his other hand he put one finger against her dress and dragged it down. Where it went, Astoria's dress disappeared under the effects of a Vanishing Spell. Her breath quickened not from fear, but arousal. It wasn’t strange for an ambitious Slytherin witch to be attracted to competence, even competence displayed by someone they generally thought of as a prick.

Even her bra was removed in this manner. Astoria lay on the coffee table, her tight and perky body displayed for Harry, who took a moment to enjoy it. When the hand that had been trailing down her body got to her crotch, Harry sunk two fingers into her shining slit.

“Ooh!” Astoria grunted. “Ah! L-Let me up! This is demeaning!”

“Ma’am, I’m just doing my job. Would you mind clamping your thighs? I can get deeper that way.”

Astoria did as he asked, but he wasn’t sure it was by choice. His fingers were digging through her insides and making her whole body clench, including her legs. 

By now, Daphne had set a new record, her lips brushing Ron’s crotch when she drove herself down. Through sheer persistence she had overcome her limits, stretching her throat in ways it had never been asked to before. Her hands were planted on the chair next to Ron’s hips, but he scooped them up and squeezed them.

With his cock halfway down her throat, Daphne squealed. Her eyes closed and crinkled, utterly relishing the moment.

“...You alright?” Ron asked.

“Ahgoodabuh,” Daphne said. 

Ron didn’t know how to interpret the groan, but it sounded positive. He could even see the corners of her lips were curved up while she gorged herself on his manhood.

Astoria had wrapped both her hands around the forearm Harry was using to hold her throat. She was smiling too, but she kept trying to hide it. Her efforts weren’t working.

“You love this,” Harry said. “Have you never had someone else’s fingers down there?”

As he talked he slid a third finger in.

“My husband… is very good at this… thank you very much!” Astoria said.

“Yet you called me. I wonder why that could be.”

Astoria mumbled something between her moans that Harry couldn’t catch. 

“What was that?”

“I said, because his fingers are bigger than his prick!”

Astoria’s shout echoed in the room. Harry’s eyebrows rose. Slowly, he started to laugh.

“You’re going to have so much fun today,” he said.

He leaned forward, resting the bulge in his pants against Astoria’s leg. She had felt it while riding him, but she was being reminded again of the size of it. The protrusion in Harry’s pants was the size of a Bludger.

His fingers hooked up inside of Astoria, prodding her clit in ways she couldn’t ignore. Screaming, she thrashed against the strong hands holding, spewing her climax across Harry’s fingers.

“Who knew Astoria Greengrass could sound so much like a Kneazle kitten?” Harry said, popping his fingers out of her snatch.

Astoria lay limp on the table with her legs spread. “Fuck… you…”

“You’ll get to. But I think we ought to change venues first...”

He was interrupted from saying more by a sound like an egret’s mating call. 

“It’s coming Daph!” Ron yelled too late. 

All of his cock was down Daphne’s gullet when his cum shot out. Most went straight into her stomach, making her flinch back and cough. The rest got into her mouth, some of which spilled. Drops of cum fell onto her large breasts and ran down them, sliding over her pink nipples.

Ron touched her cheek, wiping away some of the cum while she gasped for breath.

“Sorry, I’m no good at giving warnings. You breathing okay? I know a good charm for clearing up your airways. ‘Course I usually use it to keep from choking on food, but it works wonders.”

Daphne stared at him, passion in her eyes, before giving him her answer— the firmest smooch she could muster straight on the slit of his cock. She came away with cum decorating her pouty lips.

Harry stood up, pulling Astoria up with him.

“Let’s take this to your rooms,” he said. “I don’t half-arse my work. To do this job right, we’re going to be busy all day. So if you don’t want a sore back in the morning let’s get you to a bed.

Astoria was breathless from how hard he’d made her cum. Harry pulled her up and conjured her skimpy dress back into existence with a lazy hand-wave. As he guided her toward the door, Daphne and Ron followed his advice. Daphne pulled her bathrobe back into position and dragged Ron to his feet. She held onto his hand rather than let go, her cheeks pink.

Before leaving the room Astoria grabbed Harry’s bulge, trying to get a feel of what was in her future. Harry let her feel him up all she wanted— in return, his hand clamped onto her arse, squeezing her so hard that he actually lifted her off her toes for a moment. Astoria moaned, walking stiffly under his grip. Daphne and Ron followed them out looking like a couple on a first date.

“Girls, I brought sna–cks!” 

A clattering sound filled the hallway as Anastacia Greengrass dropped the platter she’d been carrying. Cheeses, crackers, and fruit skidded across the floor. Anastacia had been bringing them to the meeting room when she spotted the way Harry was holding her daughter’s backside. As soon as she saw that she spotted other signs— cum on Daphne’s lips, bruises over Astoria’s neck, and the clear juices dripping down the inside of her thighs below the dress. It was too easy to guess what Anastacia just walked into.

“Honestly, Mother, can’t you do anything right?” Astoria snapped. “Who asked you to bring food—”

She yelped and went quiet as Harry let go of her bum and gave it a heavy slap, sending her hopping forward. He waved his hand and the mess of snacks shot back to their places on the platter, which levitated back into Anastacia’s hands. She looked dumbfounded, his feat of magic only adding to her stupor.

“Snacks would be wonderful,” Harry said with a smile. “We just ate, though, so maybe in a few hours? We should have worked up an appetite by then.”

Anastacia nodded slowly. Harry waited for more, but it didn’t seem like she was going to talk.

So he and Ron led her daughters down the hall to do the job they were hired for.