Twitter Story: Know Your Tropes

You wake up in a crib, but you don't panic.  Your Mommy comes in and effortlessly lifts you out of it and plops you on the changing table to remove your thoroughly soaked diaper.  Again, you keep your cool.  You've read enough altered reality stories to see where this is going

As Mommy wipes and powders you, you talk just enough to confirm that she can't understand you.  The fresh Pampers, scaled up to miraculously fit you, feels amazing.  You conserve your energy.  This isn't how you escape.  Daddy sleepily feeds you breakfast in your giant highchair.

No point in arguing or fussing. You'll just exhaust yourself and drive yourself mad.  That's how the main characters in these stories always end up.    Confused.  Broken.  And gaslit into thinking they're actual babies.  But not you. Never you.

You play the part of good baby when you return to the nursery that was surely your room- perhaps  a scaled up version your room at a different time of your life- and help yourself get dressed in the nice comfy onesie.  You don't object when a pacifier is clipped to the collar.

Objecting would likely just result in getting the pacifier shoved in your mouth anyways.  Chances are some magical force or reflex or instinct would take over and force you to suck on it  Not you.  You're smarter than that.  You've read all the texts.

You don't marvel at the size of the car seat.  You don't panic.  Instead you look for more information out the car window.  You see plenty of people your age and older; younger too.  All babied up and most of them look less than content.

Some tantrum, but confused and befuddled seems to be the emotion of the day.  Good.  This isn't normal for them either.  It'll be easier to overcome the oncoming altered reality regression if you're not the only one who realizes that this isn't normal.

But things go sideways when you get to your new/old daycare.  You try to explain to the other newly adult babies exactly what's going on, and they don't believe you.  Citing that this is your kink, and that you've read a lot about this on the internet are not good credentials.

The fact that in your rebuttal, you end up squatting down and shamelessly push a load into you diaper doesn't win any arguments.  It doesn't matter to your new playmates that some of them are doing exactly the same; wetting and messing without realizing it.  Thumb sucking to self-sooth.  Stomping feet when they're angry or upset to punctuate a point.  They're just as bad off as you are and they don't even realize it.  

You don't even flinch when you sit down on your bottom, the mess spreading beneath you as the crowd disperses to tantrum or fiddle with nursery toys or whine to caregivers who won't understand them beyond what any adult could understand from a very young child.    They'll be tickled and checked and changed and put down for naps, and in no time at all, this will become normal to them.  

Forget escape or undoing this mess.  They'll be lucky if they ever remember being adults to start with.  It'd serve them right.  Screw 'em.  Bunch of dumb babies anyway.  You pop your pacifier into your mouth and decide to crawl over to a teddy bear and snuggle up to it.

Maybe this won't be so bad.  After all, the difference between you and all those other altered reality story protagonists is that you actually LIKE this kind of thing.  One adult's curse is another adult baby's paradise.