Mutants across the world – New York, New York

New York, New York! The greatest city that has ever been, or will ever be, if you ask the people who live there. Hey, I’m Angela, and I wanna take you on a tour of my home.

New York was one of the first cities in America to fully accept mutants, almost by virtue of its lifestyle. It’s always been a very progressive city and, to be fair, you see weirdos of all types in NYC. Even to this day you see stuff that is much weirder than mutants. The naked singing cowboy? Random statue people? Spidermen in Times Square? Urban nudists with skeletons tattooed on their body? All real things in New York. This is a city where you can buy an actual human skull from a curiosity shop, go down a few blocks, enter a secret entrance via a phone booth to an underground speakeasy, and then enter a hotel in which you become the haunting specter of a constantly looping modernized living play based of Macbeth.

So mutants? Not really a big deal. We have a lot of accommodations for mutants here. We got doors on the subway wide enough for humantaurs. We got stairs and ramps and elevators for all methods of locomotion. We got tons of mutant clothing shops but woooo if you live here, you are gonna spend money. The thing is, no matter what your body, or your lifestyle is, we got you covered here. Hell, we even got ways for aquatic mutants to swim to work!

And here’s the thing, New York mutants are super friendly! We will show you around, tell you the best places to eat, maybe even recommend a museum or two. We know this place like the back of our hand, and we want you to experience our wonderful city.

… that is… as long as you follow the unspoken rules of the city.

Like, it doesn’t matter how many legs you got, don’t slow down on the sidewalk. I’ve seen long ass centipede girls get to where they are going without slowing down. If you need to stop, move aside. The further left you are, anywhere, on the sidewalk, on the stairway, whatever, the faster you are expected to move. If you are gonna slow down keep right.

Let people get off the subway before you get on. It’s just common decency. Speaking of the subway, you get one seat. Just one. Once again, don’t matter how many legs or arms or bodies you got. One seat. Period. Oh and god forbid you put a bike or a bag on an open seat. People will throw fists for that. Also, give your seats up to the elderly, pregnant women, and children first. 

If you make eye contact with a stranger, you have essentially invited them to speak with you. They will try to sell you their mix-tape or talk to you about some weird new-age religion. It’s your fault. Deal with it.

Actually, I’m gonna say this again, don’t slow down. Cross the street if people are crossing, even if the sign doesn’t say so. If you bump into someone, say sorry but keep moving. Like the philosopher Johnny T once said, there are two speeds in New York: Move Fast or Get Outta the Way.

There’s tons of stuff to do here though. You might think you wanna see the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty… don’t. Those are just tourist traps. You wanna see the culture. Go see an indie play. There’s a thriving mutant theater scene. Go to Chinatown or Little Italy and get some food that ya just can’t get anywhere else cooked by world renowned mutant chefs. Go to Coney Island and soak up some sun while playing some carnival games and eating a dirty water dog. Ride the ferry, it’s free! Or if you are kinky there’s a really thriving nightlife scene that can get as weird as you want it to be.

Go to central park. It’s like a nature preserve right in the middle of our urban jungle. You really wanna see a sample of our mutant life, that’s a place to go. You’ll see martial artists, marathon runners, dancers, acrobats, and much much more. Head over to Washington Square Park and you’ll find street musicians, craftsmen, even models doing on the street shoots. You can walk the highline and see our sky gardens. You can visit the U.S.S. Intrepid, a permanently docked aircraft carrier which is now a museum of aerospace technology. Real mutants can tell you all about technology that was developed specifically for mutant kind there. Check out St. Patrick’s Cathedral to learn about the history of mutants and organized religion. 

There’s just so much to do here for mutant-kind. In fact, we are one of few cities in the world with a bigger mutant population than human population, and while we aren’t quite as heavily mutant populated as say, Port Solei, we are on par with cities like Tokyo, Paris, and London. 

New Yorkers are an adaptable bunch. We have made use of our mutant bodies and mutant abilities to improve life for everyone in this fair city, mutant and human alike. You’ll see spiders like me using our webs to do work on the sides of buildings, avian mutants in the sky directing traffic (don’t drive here… please), and you’ll see bee mutants tending to the botanical gardens, rat girls working in the subways. We got mutants of all types here, and they will be happy to show you all that New York has to offer.

… that is… as long as you keep moving.