Update #123 Ouch my eyes, I cannot see!

4-5-6, 'cause my face was hit by bricks!

7-8-9, give me elf-ears, I'll be fine!

Finally not stuck in scene 10 limbo anymore. Feels like I've run through a gauntlet or something with this stupid scene, and I fear that it's rather turned into a bit of a mess. Maybe it'll be a hot mess, maybe just a messy mess, time will tell.

For now, all that's left to do is put the renders and animations into code and test and fiddle with things to make sure it all looks smooth. I'll get that done tomorrow.

In other good news, scene 11 is a tiny direct continuation of this scene, so tiny that I think I'll be able to make it in 1-2 days. Scene 12 too is quite short, with a bit of luck I'll get both of them done next week!

"Why is there an elf coming out of the wall?"

Scene 10 ended up with 12 animations, I don't think I've had a scene with 12 animations before. That sounds like quite a lot, though they're mostly rather samey, so it's not as impressive as it sounds. Still, took quite some time to make. That's normal animations, mind you. There are also a bunch of the "sorta-kinda animations", which I don't really have a count of.

...

Maybe it'll take me more than a day to put it all in game, come to think of it. I typically don't write the sex scene dialogue beforehand, I just ad-lib it as I put stuff in the code. As you might imagine, that takes a bit of time and mental effort to make sure it's good and decent, even if half the text boils down to ooh's and haah's.

Jhan'draga has somehow turned into me on vacation

This week's been quite productive in general, I've felt far more energetic than I've done in a while. Which is surprising considering I haven't been able to exercise. Throat's still a little itchy, so I've been careful not to exert myself. Planning to go on a proper walk tomorrow and see how I feel from there.

Really starting to feel the positive effects of not having to stress about making two things at once. Despite that, there's always a little piece of me that does want to do a bit of writing on the side as I make the game. Maybe just short stories, maybe work on a proper novel, I don't know.

Maybe that'll be an actual possibility with medication? Idunno, I'm not getting my hopes up.

"No, no. There's nothing interesting going on on the other side."

I've finally heard back from the psychiatry peeps, so the process towards getting medicated for ADHD may or may not be starting. Things don't move fast in those circles, but TBH I'm fine with that. I feel like getting diagnosed, and the talks I had with the psychotherapist, helped me feel validated. And it's helped me be a bit kinder to myself, less pushing, less demanding.

There will still be bad spots, days and weeks where just getting started feels like a Sisyphean task. But as long as one can accept that, and not try to force oneself to be at some sort of ideal productivity level all the time, then those times will pass and things get better again.

That's about all I had today, pretty sparse on the rambling today. Suppose all that mental energy was put into making renders and animations today. Aaanyway.

Thanks for all of your support, and I wish for you to be kind to yourself this week!