December is a Month (Happy New Year)

I have kind of a lot I want to say so I'm going to break it up between the stuff relevant for patrons and then the personal stuff you can ignore after:

The Patron Relevant Stuff.

Patron content is going to continue to be two pieces a month minimum (preferably at least one comic page. I want to be better about that.) A lot of that is based on how much I make from patreon (+subscribestar) which is a bit over 600usd a month. The plan was always a comic page per month per 500usd and even though the whole milestones thing doesn't work correctly on pateon anymore I am sticking to it. So unless I wind up with a huge influx of patreons its obligatory one page a month plus whatever pinups and sketches I feel like, plus commissions (which are going to resume soon out of necessity). I'll talk about the plans for adding Third Waltz and Shadowlark content later on in this post but the relevant part here is that you may see me posting more of that this year along with the kink and size stuff.

Patreon keeps telling me its time to review my prices because its been three years etc but I have no intention of raising it again unless they force me to. I didn't actually like doing it last time and would rather people just contribute what they think its worth / what they can afford to give away for tiddies. If circumstances change Ill notify months ahead of time as usual.

The Personal Bit.

Almost all of my plans for last year fell apart spectacularly: I didn't resume Shadowlark or Third Waltz. I didn't get back to working on animation or 3d modeling. I fell way behind on commissions. I didn't write any new short stories or even make any substantial progress on NEU comics. A comic I worked with Sugarbug on and was supposed to color never got done. In just about every personal metric I set for myself I failed. At the very beginning of 2024 I finally managed to get out from under a debt that had hung over my head like the sword of Damocles half my life only to be sent home from the dentist because of dangerously high blood pressure; and subsequently now I have to take heart medication. I have had to deal with the collapse of a number of personal relationships as a result of my constate state of anxiety and depression making me very unpleasant to deal with when I can actually summon the courage to interact with people. I fell off commission streams and slacked on work due to burnout and frankly starting to hate drawing due to repetition and feeling like I never have the time or energy to work on my own projects. I had to excuse myself from one of the only constructive environments for art I have found online due to drama and anxiety I simply did not have the emotional stamina to deal with. And then, as 2024 came to a close: two of my family members wound up in the hospital and I bruised my rib being reckless. Both of the family members are home now, and I'm fine - it's just going to take weeks to heal and its hard to sleep properly.

So that's the energy I am entering 2025 with. I am going to do my best to get past my burnout and anxiety, to not drown in darkness. This is basically the only thing I know how to do and I don't think I am very good at it, and I promise I am going to do my best to fight back those feelings but wanted to express where my brain is.