A Ramble and a Real Update

hey you! it's a bit of a serious one-- well, it's definitely a serious one, though i think i managed to keep the really dramatic/not great stuff mostly out of there. by keeping that stuff out though i feel like it minimizes the situation a bit, like, the house was not just smelling like cigarettes with a couple of mice-- without getting into it, it was. a biohazard. how did he acquire so many THINGS??? imagine if a dust bunny and a mouse got together and decided to open a bed and breakfast. smoking inside encouraged. INCENTIVIZED EVEN. but it's so so much better now!! it's breathable. thoughts and prayers for that little HEPA filter though. and when i say "not the best relationship," i mean we texted a couple times a year. and that was the extent of our speaking. (i think i had a better relationship with my adobe audition IT guy.) but that is also better, like i said!

i recorded this about a week or two ago, before my dad got back from rehab. he's home now and i greatly underestimated what it means to be someones caretaker full time, but i'm getting the swing of things and figuring out how to best get support so I can actually maybe figure out how to live my own life a bit.

I'll definitely be able to get one audio out by the end of the month, but if i am being realistic it probably will not be more than that, but i'm going to really try to make up for it in may as i'm taking time off from my other job.

i don't know that i've exactly been this transparent before, but i think i just really need people to know what's going on! and maybe if you're dealing with a similar thing you'll feel less by yourself, like i said. it does feel cliché to say i'm having issues in my personal life and that's why i've been absent this month. but, well, here we are.

i'm sorry i didn't update you on this sooner — the past three weeks (well, really four, since it started at the beginning of april) have been completely full, morning to night, with doctors, cleaning, and a little bit of crying in parking lots. ha ha! it's been one of the tougher times in my life, if i am being honest.

that said, i'm still here! and i'm still making things — and i’m planning to double up in may to thank you properly for your patience.

if you do need to pause or refund, i completely understand. but if you’re able to stick with around, it does make all the difference in the world AND i think you’ll be glad you did. because there are some REAL good one's that have just been simmering in the pot.

i think that's all the info.

thank you so much for your patience and kindness, I am. SO. Grateful. if you feel like sending me a little message about your own experience with this kinda thing i would not say no-- i might not have time to get back to you but the not feeling alone part has been really really helpful. i’m gonna keep doing my best—and if you ever need tips on mouse eviction or surviving on three hours of sleep, i am now an expert.

warmly, with love, with hugs that last a very long time,

emma