You're sleeping on romance novels

My wife had been telling me for years that I was missing a lot of good stuff by not reading romance novels. However, my opinion of romance novels was pretty skewed by the stuff I saw on the newsstands when I was a kid.

Needless to say, I had a lot to learn about today's romance novel. So, when I started looking for something to listen to while working in the studio, I decided to try a few of her suggestions.

Guys... GUYS! We've been missing out. Romance novels are incredible! If you're looking for some well-written smut (and some danged good plots), you need to start paying attention. Here are a couple of recent favorites.

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta

Violet is a young woman who gets a job collecting semen from minotaurs. Sounds downright ridiculous, doesn't it?

ahem... Anyway...

With some masterful world-building by C.M. Nascosta, this is your gateway into Cambric Creek — an entire community of otherworldly creatures, including orcs, vampires, mothmen, fae, centaurs, and many more. They co-exist with humans in a delicate — if not tenuous — balance.

Minotaur sperm has some pretty impressive properties, so a business has been built around collecting it from volunteers and using it to produce pharmaceuticals. When Violet gets a job at this milking facility, she meets a minotaur who melts her heart.

My personal taste in sex-to-story ratio is about 60:40. I like a good story, but I'm here for the smut. Nascosta gets that, and she delivers it by the quart.

Next in the series is Sweet Berries, a delicious romance between a woman and her mothman. However, this one is much more of a slow burn — a 40:60 ratio at best. Book three is Moon Blooded Breeding Clinic, in which women who are having trouble conceiving enlist the aid of very helpful werewolves.

Since I'm primarily an audiobook guy, I haven't read Moon Blooded yet, but as soon as they release the audiobook, I'll be howling for it.

A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor by Kathryn Moon

The last thing I expected to like was a Victorian romance, but this was too hot to put down. Esther is a wayward house servant with an incomparable libido. The dashing Dr. Underwood suggests that she approach Rooksgrave Manor for employment. Rooksgrave is a brothel where otherworldly creatures find willing human consorts. Esther would fit right it. (But will the monsters fit...?)

In this "reverse harem" plot, Esther ends up with Dr. Underwood (and his Jekyll/Hyde other half), as well as a vampire, a sphinx, a golem, and an invisible man. This book tilts more towards a 70:30 smut/story ratio, but Moon expertly weaves the story into the sexplay itself, so it's hardly without a plot.

The second book in the series is already out, but "A Company of Fiends" doesn't have an audiobook version yet, so you'll have to promise not to spoil it for me.

Bonkers Romance 

While you're at it, add Bonkers Romance to your podcast list. Katee Robert, Jenny Nordbak, and Melody Carlisle take their love of romance and discuss a book with a guest who is also a creator in the romance-novel space. This discussion takes the form of a readthrough in which they encapsulate the novel's main plot points — along with salacious commentary. The laughter is contagious. I have found so many new books to read through their curated exhibition of romance novels that are absolutely bonkers.