Roy & Max: Vol. 2 - Part 11 (Finalé): Succession

ROY

(SEVEN MONTHS LATER)

TEDDIE: And they called the whole thing off?

ROY: The whole thing. Apparently Mr Heron’s passing meant I was free of all of it. No more ‘weight gain on a time limit’ bullshit.

MAX: Turned out that that Lester punk had come after us - how did they phrase it? - in bad faith. He pretended to be acting on Mr Heron’s behalf just to get to Roy, when in fact he was just acting on his own.

TEDDIE: But... why?

ROY: No idea, bro. No idea. Maybe we’ll never know.

(I’m just relieved to be done with that whole shitshow. Lost a little of the excess weight now and feeling back at a size I’m happier with.

That being said, maybe we went a little overboard on breakfast. I guess I’m still in the habit of ordering in bulk for myself as well as Max, heh)

MAX: Try the steak frites, Teddie. You’ll love ‘em. I can’t get enough of these things, haha! This is the best place in town for breakfast. Trust me, I’ve tried them all.

TEDDIE: There’s already enough here to last a lifetime! You guys sure know how to eat!

MAX: That we do, my friend!

(This is real nice. Teddie sober, here with us at our favorite food joint. He says he’s been clean for months now. I wanna believe in him.

So I will. Today I will)

MAX: Ummf, Teddie trythe - trythe marrow sauce. Itssincredible.

ROY: You want more waffles, sweetheart?

MAX: Mmyesplease, gorgeous.

TEDDIE: I don’t even know where to begin, there’s so much here, haha.

ROY: It’s a hazard of hanging out with us, I’m afraid, dude. You might come away with a tighter belt.

MAX: Say, Ted, you ever play Mario Kart? Roy, babe, did you bring the Nintendo? I could show your brother.

ROY: Bro, do NOT be fooled by the cute, innocent middle-aged-man-act. Max is a demon at that thing!

TEDDIE: Hahaha!

MAX: I’m a whizz with the little mushroom guy!

TEDDIE: If I’m not in a food coma after all of this, you guys are on.

By the way, were you, uh, were you expecting any more company?

MAX: No, why?

TEDDIE: Those two guys comin’ this way.

(I don’t recognize them. Both dressed in grey though. Hmmm. Have they been sent by The Rookery? That can’t be good. I didn’t think we’d be getting any more visits. I don’t like this.

Holy cow, one of ‘em’s HUGE! Bigger than Max, even! Christ, the guy can barely walk...

What do they want? God, don’t tell me it’s not over. Not after everything we’ve been through...)

FIRST GREY: Gentlemen, we’re sorry to disturb your breakfast. We won’t take too much of your time.

(Let's just get this over with. If I never saw another Grey again it’d still be too soon)

MAX: What’s this about?

FIRST GREY: My colleague here has something he’d like to say.

SECOND GREY: ... Just... give me... a moment...

(All he did was walk over here. This dude looks like he’s ready to collapse)

SECOND GREY: I would... like to say... that I formally... and sincerely... apologize... for any and all... damage I have caused... both emotional and... physical...

MAX: Wait a sec...

(This... It can’t be...?)

SECOND GREY: I acted... in bad faith... of my own accord... and my decisions were... in no way... indicative of the wider company...

MAX: Lester?!

ROY: Jesus Christ, what did they DO to you?!

(Holy fucking cow!!)

FIRST GREY: Go on, tell them the rest.

LESTER: Furthermore... neither Roy Morgan-Baker... nor his spouse... Maximilian Francis Morgan-Baker... shall receive further interference... from the company... in perpetuity...

(This isn’t possible - No-one could gain this much weight in seven months. Not even when I was stuffing my HARDEST could I ever have done this. He’s... absolutely enormous!)

FIRST GREY: Now hand them the documents, Lester. There’s a good chap.

LESTER: This is... everything... in writing...

MAX: Uh, thanks...

(Seriously, what the fuck did they DO to him?)

FIRST GREY: You’ll find a comprehensive breakdown of everything my colleague has imparted within that document. See that you don’t lose it.

Good day, gentlemen. We shan’t meet again.

MAX: Wait, Lester, before you go-

LESTER: Mmm...?

MAX: I know why you did it.

ROY: Wait. You do?

FIRST GREY: What’s this?

MAX: I know why you brought this on. Why you pretended to act on Mr Heron’s behalf, tried to get my husband entangled back into your contract, doubling his weight for you.

LESTER:...

ROY: Max, what do you mean?

MAX: I’ve thought about this a lot. I have it pretty well figured out.

You wanted to become a Master, didn’t you?

LESTER:...

MAX: You did it to get promoted.

You said yourself - succession within the ranks is rare, promotion nigh-impossible - Those were your words.

FIRST GREY: You were telling them the inner workings of the company?!

LESTER:... It’s not... like that...

MAX: You thought that by tracking us down, enforcing the clauses in Roy’s old contract, it could get you noticed, get you out of the Greys, and into The Masters. A nice little promotion. That’s what this was all about from the start.

LESTER: I don’t... know what... you-

FIRST GREY: I can’t believe what I’m hearing... Gentlemen, I really am going to have to bid you good day, we need to be on our way - I think further disciplinary measures are in place for you, hmm, Lester? Perhaps we didn’t go far enough.

LESTER: No...! No more... feedings... please...! I can... hardly... move...!

FIRST GREY: Come along now. Let’s not cause a scene.

LESTER: Please... no more... stuffings... Please...!

(Jeez Louise. Look at him waddling away, practically in tears. Almost enough to make me feel sorry for the guy.

Except he tried to ruin my life)

TEDDIE: Jesus, what was that all about?

ROY: It’s over. They’re gone for good and that’s all that matters.

MAX: A-fuckin-men. I don’t wanna think about Greys or Masters or Rookeries ever again. You know, rookeries are actually made up mostly of corvids like crows and ravens anyway. Herons don’t typically-

ROY: You’re so cute when you get all nerdy.

MAX: What can I say? I have a lot of bird facts!

ROY: God, I love you, haha.

TEDDIE: Jeez, you two are enough to warm my cold dead heart.

MAX: Teddie, you wanna stick around for dinner later? There’s this great Lebanese place...

(I really do. I love him so, so much. My Max. My beautiful, huge husband. He means everything to me.

I can’t believe there was even a chance that I could’ve been taken away from him. It all seems so... surreal, now that it’s over. Ugh, and I never have to hear from those maniacs ever again. Good fuckin’ riddance.

This is all I want, right here: Max, happily full, fat, laughing. Good company. Good food. Business is booming. I’m more than grateful for my lot in life.

To think I was gonna DOUBLE my size! Good God. I really don’t know if I woulda made it. I was already getting so heavy and so huge, taking up all that space, lumbering around like an elephant.

The extra eating was fun though. Letting loose. Not stopping when I usually would. Really going for it. And the sessions with Max in his suit! Oof, we were onto something there, that’s for damned sure.

I guess... there’s no need to be hasty. Maybe the Big Fat CEO could feed his Employee of the Month again.

And I did kinda like the extra belly, all told. Man, this tank got seriously LARGE. Yeah, that part was fun. And Max enjoyed it. He said I looked even more imposing.

I like that.

Maybe there’s something to think about there...)