Dadbod, part 11 - Finalé

(’Dicky’s’ is on fire.)

‘Rich... are you okay? ... Rich?’

I was frozen to the spot.

(’Dicky’s’ is on fire.)

I was stood there, literally watching my own store burn right in front of me.

‘Dicky, you’re scaring me...’

People were talking to me. Paula from the hospital bed. Yoichi over the phone. There was a baby in my arms.

‘I gotta... I gotta...,’ I muttered.

‘Richard, sweetheart, can you hear me?’ Yoichi’s voice from the phone speaker.

(’Dicky’s’ is on fire!)

I shook my head.

‘I’m coming!’ I told Yoi, and hung up the phone, then hastily deposited Lily back to a confused Paula. ‘I’m sorry, I gotta go,’ I told her. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What’s going on?’ she asked, rearranging her baby to a more comfortable position.

‘I just - It’s an emergency. I’m sorry.’

I marched out of the room with a foggy notion that telling Paula my store was on fire would only bring her unnecessary stress. I felt like crap, just leaving her like this. As I started to jog back down the hallway, I heard the midwife tut and go to say something doubtless derogatory. That was, until I shot her the most dangerous look I think I’d ever given anyone, and she physically shrank back into the wall.

Moments later I was telling another taxi driver to floor it. Yoichi had already called the fire brigade; he’d told me by text. But there was so much traffic all backed up across Cresthaven since the bridge was being worked on - my taxi actually passed the fire trucks!

(Oh God. Oh God.)

‘Uh oh,’ the driver chirped. ‘Looks like someone’s in trouble.’

‘Yeah! It’s my store!’

‘Oh! Christ, that’s bad!’

‘You think?!’

He wouldn’t stop any closer than half a block away, so I leaped out of the cab and raced down the street toward ‘Dicky’s’. There was smoke in the air and people had already come out of their homes to investigate. The fire engine sirens still sounded woefully far away.

‘I called the fire department but they’re stuck in traffic!’ Yoichi suddenly jumped out at me. He looked stricken. ‘I’ve tried everything - No-one’s got a hose or anything. I can’t get close enough-‘

‘It’s okay, it’s okay,’ I told him, holding his arms and giving him a relieving hug. Over his humongous shoulder I saw it:

My store, this place I’d worked so hard on - We all had - literally going up in smoke. It was pouring out of the front windows, lit up in Halloween oranges and chimney reds. My heart, pulsing as it was from the run here, sank lower and lower inside me. It was like watching somebody dig out your own grave right in front of you.

(Just... Why?!)

‘Did we... leave something on, or...?’ I asked Yoi. ‘I don’t get it. Everything was fine...’

‘I don’t know, sweetheart,’ he told me, lost. ‘I don’t know.’

It was heart-breaking, watching it all burn, knowing the fire trucks weren’t gonna get here in time to salvage anything. I just hoped to God the flames wouldn’t spread to the neighboring units.

‘I asked around for buckets and stuff, but no-one can get in there!’ Yoichi threw up his massive arms in desperation. ‘I just -‘ He suddenly stopped.

‘What?’ I said, following his gaze.

It looked like... someone was coming out of the blaze!

‘What the... Jesus!’ I made to head toward them, to help, then saw the canister in their hands, the scarf modified into a mask, the mop of blonde curled hair...

Todd.

He had a deranged look on his face. He kinda half-skipped, half-danced out of the wreckage.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I was on him. I could hear Yoi behind me saying something, but my ears were filling with the sound of my own pumping blood.

My own rage.

‘You...,’ I growled.

I saw my thick hands stretch out towards his throat, but he slipped out of my grasp.

‘Ha ha ha! Oh, this is too perfect!’ he crowed. His eyes were so wild against the ash on his skin. His pupils looked like discs. If I had to guess, I woulda said he was high. ‘The man himself!’

‘YOU did this?!’ I roared. ‘I’m gonna-‘

But my shoulder was pulled back and Yoichi’s vast frame pushed past me and grabbed Todd by the arm.

‘Hey, don’t - OW! Jesus, get off me! You’re hurting me!’ Todd screeched.

‘Why?’ I demanded, motioning to the demonic flames, the acrid smoke curling out of my storefront, my dreams, my ambitions, my future. ‘WHY?!’

He wriggled and writhed, but I could see Yoichi’s mammoth hands digging so hard into Todd’s arm.

‘Why? Really? Why?’ Todd pulled down his mask, revealing a line of pale flesh where it had spared the lower half of his face from smoke. He tried once more to wrench his arm free but this time Yoichi made a swift maneuver behind him and locked Todd into some kind of hold. I didn’t know that Yoi knew how to do anything like that.

‘Hey... Hey...!’ Todd exclaimed. ‘Why should you get all this? Huh? You of all people! You! Why should you get this guy? Get... the... hottest guy in town? Urnngh! And this store? Your own store?! Give - Give me a break! Why the hell should you get to have any of this? Huh? What’s fair about any of that?’

I just stood before him in disbelief. He looked unhinged, even feral. My hands were balled into hard fists. My heart was hammering.

How could someone be this filled with venom? Enough to destroy someone else’s hard work? Their livelihood? This was far beyond petty jealousy. I could only imagine that Todd must have seethed over this for... how long? Months? A year?

‘I’m calling the police,’ I said, keeping my voice as calm as I could.

‘Oh yeah? And what’re you gonna tell them, fatass?’ Todd spat. ‘You can’t prove I burned down your precious little store!’ He then flicked the plastic gasoline canister back into the fire.

I was about to rebut, but was suddenly cut off.

‘I got it all on video, douchebag!’

I turned around, and behind us was a crowd. All these people had gathered around from the neighborhood. And one of them was holding up their phone, pointing the camera at Todd.

‘Don’t you worry,’ they said to me, far more kindly. ‘I got the whole thing filmed.’

‘Would you - Would it be okay to cut out this next part?’ I asked the stranger, who nodded and pocketed their cell.

Then I turned back to Todd and kicked him as hard as humanly possible. In the balls. With my size 17 steel-toe-capped riggers.

As Todd bent double and screamed in pain, a cheer went up behind me.

‘Aaaaaaaargh! You ffffffaaaaaahhhhh,’ Todd cried. I mean he literally cried. His eyes watered over and snot and frothy spit ran all down his face.

I could hear the fire trucks finally getting close. And after thanking the stranger behind me, I dialed for the Cresthaven Police Department.

The emergency services would be here soon, and this would all be over.

For better. And for worse.

That evening, exhaustion took hold. Yoichi offered to bake me a pie, but I wasn’t hungry. He was amazing, making me my favorite tea, calling the hospital to check in on Paula and Lily. He was the one who gave all the statements to the services (who took Todd away pretty sharp after seeing the video footage).

I, on the other hand, was numb. Just numb. I walked the hour and a half trek from Yoi’s place back to my little apartment that night. I wanted to be by myself. He looked sad but I think he understood.

In bed I didn’t even cry. I just laid there, staring up at the ceiling.

‘Dicky’s’ was gone. It was over.

The next day I woke up late. I don’t know what time exactly, but it was afternoon, I think. I lugged my 400-plus pound ass into the shower, but took no pleasure in soaping up my humongous dad-belly. After, I made coffee and watched Cresthaven from my window. All the people down there whose lives hadn’t been shattered by a vengeful asshole. People who were just getting on with their day as though nothing were wrong. I knew I should’ve felt upset, but there was just... nothing.

Knock knock.

I sipped my coffee and considered simply ignoring the door.

Knock knock.

(Just go away, whoever it is. Leave me alone. Can’t a man wallow in his own misery in peace, at least?)

Another knock.

‘WHAT?!’ I bellowed, far too loud and far too aggressively. And for the following moments there was silence. Maybe I’d scared them off.

Then came, ‘Sweetheart, it’s me.’ So quiet and so tender.

(God, I was an ass.)

‘I’m sorry, handsome,’ I said, opening the door to Yoi. ‘I didn’t mean to yell. Sorry. I didn’t know it was you.’

I let my shoulders hang, and he leaned in for a soft kiss. Yoichi always had to tilt his head upwards some to connect with my height; likewise I did my best to bend down to meet him. Then there was my considerable girth to navigate, and it was only growing bigger over time.

‘Sorry,’ I whispered again, brushing his beautiful black hair for no other reason than I just liked to do it sometimes.

‘Have you eaten?’ he asked, rubbing my big gut. ‘I’ve got some leftover bread from Sun, we didn’t sell it.’ He proffered up another of his white boxes, and for a moment I took some amusement in thinking that this was how it all started between us: A little white box.

These days, Yoi was always palming off leftovers from the Sun Bakery to me. He said it helped reduce waste and went to a good cause - growing me fatter.

I thanked him for the bread and offered to make more coffee.

‘Are you doing okay?’ He lumbered up behind me in the kitchenette and gently pressed his firm pecs and stomach into the curve of my back, kissing the nape of my fat neck.

‘I don’t know,’ I admitted. ‘I actually don’t know how I feel. It’s like... I should be mad, but...’

(But what? Did it even matter?)

He ran his hands down my bulbous lovehandles - they bulged far beyond the waistband of my underwear.

‘When you’re ready, I want - Thank you-’ He accepted the coffee I’d made him. ‘When you’re ready, I wanna show you something.’

‘What is it?’

‘It’s better to show you.’

As far from the mood for surprises as I was, I couldn’t help but think back on the abandoned stadium. He’d wanted to show that place to me in order to get onto the subject of his departed parents. It still stung when I thought of how I’d managed to make it all about me, without even giving him the chance to explain.

I owed him this one.

‘Okay,’ I said.

So, after coffee and more hugs (he generally had a hard time keeping his hands off my belly - for me it was his biceps), and some of his delicious bread with butter and honey, I threw on a bunch of random clothes and followed him outside.

‘Where are we going?’ I asked.

‘Just... trust me.’ He took my porky hand in his as we walked through Cresthaven.

I knew the route we were taking. Then pretty soon I realized what he was doing.

‘Sweetheart... I don’t wanna see it.’

We were headed back toward ‘Dicky’s’, or rather whatever was left of it.

‘I don’t wanna go back there right now,’ I continued. ‘Please.’

‘Trust me, okay?’ he repeated.

My heart felt sick. I’d have rather done anything else than witness the blackened carnage of all my hard work. But I’d promised to go along. It would have been churlish of me to agree, only to turn back now.

‘What, did they, like, find one single animal carving that survived the fire or something?’ I asked, trying not to sound an ass. ‘Is it gonna be like that robot movie where there’s, like, one little plant that survived the apocalypse?’

He laughed and said, ‘No.’

But the closer we got, the sicker I felt. The corner was coming up.

Then something strange happened.

There was a middle-aged guy up ahead, carrying a large toolbox; he looked familiar, and it took me a couple seconds...

‘Mr Gerhardt?’

He looked over, gave one of his customary grunts and a nod, and continued on his way around the corner. He was heading to ‘Dicky’s’ too.

‘I thought he left town,’ I said, half to myself. ‘Something about his sister.’

Yoichi said nothing, and led me onwards. When we turned the bend, I could feel my stomach turning upside-down, though I had to admit seeing my old boss out of the blue like that had thrown me through a loop.

Still, it couldn’t’ve prepared me for what came next.

(What the-)

Put simply, a small army of people were coming and going from the ruins of my store. Some were carrying tools or equipment like Mr Gerhardt, some with paint buckets or cleaning materials; brooms, mops, what have you. A large dumpster lay in the middle of the street, and folks were loading it with blackened timber.

(What’s all this?)

It was like... half of Cresthaven had come out to help clean up, or even rebuild! One or two strangers noticed me ambling my way to the ruined unit, and smiled and waved. I turned to Yoichi, puzzled, and he beamed his perfect smile back, and squeezed my hand.

All of them were working so hard, clearing out the charred rubble, getting ready to repaint - someone had even brought another lathe! Then I spotted Mrs Cassidy giving instructions! She appeared to be enjoying the role, which no doubt came naturally to her. When she caught my eye, she gave a warm wink.

And was that... the teenager from the smoothie stand? And the manager from the fisherman’s pub? And Annalise, Yoichi’s assistant at the bakery? And most of the folks who’d ordered carvings from me months back.

‘When they heard about what happened, they wanted to help,’ Yoichi told me.

‘You called them? All of them?’ I asked him, incredulous at the sheer number of hands he’d managed to amass in such a short period.

‘We’ll get it up and running again in no time, you’ll see,’ someone said. And I saw a short, pudgy older man in spectacles coming toward me.

‘... Dad?’

A lump started forming in my throat.

‘Your-‘ He paused for a sec, ‘- boyfriend, the Incredible Hulk here, he called me last night. Said you needed help. Said it was important.’

I couldn’t believe he’d come. I couldn’t believe any of this. Awash with emotion, I leaned down and scooped him up into a huge bear hug. I hadn’t hugged my father for years. I could feel warmth behind my eyes.

‘It’s good to see you, Son,’ he said, his eyes roaming down to the enormous belly I’d gained since leaving home. ‘You’ve been keeping... well, I see.’

I wiped my eye. ‘Something like that,’ I laughed involuntarily, and felt Yoichi squeeze my hand again, subtle this time. ‘I can’t believe you’re here.’

‘Well, when I got the call from Yoshi here, he told me all about it. How you’d started off in the market, and then got folks interested in your carvings, and you were opening your own store.’

‘It’s Yoichi,’ I told him.

Dad blinked and looked to my mountainous boyfriend, the man I loved more than anything else in life.

‘It sounded like Yoshi over the phone,’ he said. ‘I do apologize, big fella.’

‘It’s okay, Mr Dooley,’ Yoi told him with a grin.

‘You stuck with the woodworking I taught you,’ Dad said to me. ‘You remember that dolphin you wanted to carve?’

‘The slug, yeah,’ I laughed.

‘You made that slug,’ he replied, tapping my substantial man-boob. ‘You. Just like you made this here store that we’re gonna fix back up.’ He jabbed a thumb at the work going on behind him, and adjusted his glasses in the Dad way that he always did. ‘I’m so proud of you, Richard.’

I sniffed.

‘Thanks, Dad.’ It came out a little husky, but mostly fine.

‘And before you say anything, your Mom’s proud, too. Just... in her own way.’

Before I could really respond (because I wanted to, believe me), Dad added, ‘Now, I’m goingta help out a little more back there; that big lady scares the bejesus outta me and I don’t fancy trying her temper. Maybe later we can all get some dinner together, the three of us. I’d like to hear more about your adventures.’

‘I’d like that,’ I told him.

‘Well, alright then.’ And off he went, back to the reconstruction effort.

‘Your Dad’s cute,’ Yoichi whispered to me with a side eye.

‘Oh my God, gross,’ I cringed.

‘I have a question, though: How did he-‘ Yoichi gestured to my Dad’s 5-foot-nothing frame, ‘-make that?’ And he motioned to my general enormity.

I just laughed. ‘I don’t know! It’s one of life’s mysteries.’

It was time to go help out. There was a lot of work to do, and the going would likely be slow; I had a crap-ton of carvings to remake, for one thing. But I’d get through it. I’d woodwork my ass off and finish the job. This was what I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to be, with my huge hulking baker boyfriend by my side. Maybe one day he would be more than that, even. The future was ours to take ahold of.

There were cool, sorta sunny skies over Cresthaven. The weather didn’t know what it wanted to do. The usual gulls were wheeling and cawing, and over the sounds of the community rebuilding ‘Dicky’s’, you could just about hear the ocean, the ships passing by, the multicolored trams rattling through town, tourists laughing. Somewhere a dog was misbehaving. Somewhere else a lady was calling out an order at a local diner. It was a beautiful day.