Dadbod, part 10

‘Where do you want these?’ movers were saying.

‘At the back,’ Paula was instructing. ‘That’s where the workshop area is.’

‘Sweetheart, did you call the bank back?’ Yoichi was asking me.

‘Uh... yes, we’re gonna - we’ve got a meeting on Thursday. Pretty sure it’s Thursday. I’ll check. I definitely called them, though,’ I was responding.

The sounds of drilling punctuated the air, and banging, and movers coming and going.

Paula looked down at the large square sign resting on the still-wrapped countertop; it needed to be hung on the bracket outside (another job for the list).

‘Are you sure you wanna call it ‘Dicky’s’?’ she asked.

‘What? I think it’s funny,’ I replied, waving more workers through the threshold. ‘It’s playful. People will remember it, I reckon.’

‘It makes me laugh,’ Yoichi added. ‘I love it.’

‘To be fair, you love everything, sweetheart.’

‘That’s true, haha!’

By the end of the day there was a semblance of a store. You could see it coming together. Over the last few months, between scouring the town for suitable empty units and dealing with the bank about my business proposal, I’d done my damndest to create more carvings, so’s not to open an empty shop. I think I’d done pretty well. Yoichi, of course, had made sure I stayed well-fed while I worked my exceptionally large ass off. At one point we had a celebration evening to commemorate me hitting 400 pounds (a lavish 5 course meal at Spinni’s). And while I absolutely couldn’t believe how massive I’d gotten, and how much the two of us thoroughly loved the process, there was just so little time to soak it in. I mean, have you ever opened your own store? There’s like a million things you gotta do!

Paula and the movers had clocked off for the day. I didn’t like her being on her feet so much, not when she was due any day now, but she insisted. She said being at home on maternity leave was driving her crazy.

‘Cheers,’ I said to Yoichi, holding up a beer.

‘Cheers, big handsome bear,’ he smiled back, clinking my can.

It was just us two here now. Yoi had ordered beers and pizza. As I leaned back on a newly-installed counter, he casually fed me a slice and rubbed my humongous ball-belly.

‘Can you believe this?’ I said, looking around the store. It was almost ready. I could picture folks stopping by, chit chatting while I took their orders or woodworked at the back. ‘Dicky’s’ was gonna be part of the neighborhood. I couldn’t wait to get started!

‘I can, yes,’ Yoichi smiled, making sure I finished off the next slice in its entirety and giving my gut a loving pat. ‘Have you... thought about inviting your family to the grand opening, or anything like that?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said, slugging on more beer. ‘Maybe Mom and Dad, but obviously not Bo-‘

I hadn’t meant to say that last part.

(Damn!)

I guess it must’ve been the alcohol, just loosened my tongue for a moment. (Aw, crap). Thing was, I knew I was gonna have to tell Yoichi about Bobby some time. But it was... not something I liked to tell, to put it mildly.

‘But not who?’ he asked.

(Oh God, here we go...) I swallowed.

‘Okay, don’t...’

(What? Don’t freak out? Don’t hate me? Don’t leave me?) Oh God, I couldn’t handle that thought. But I had to tell him. It was gonna come up eventually.

‘So, I’ve got an older brother,’ I began cautiously. ‘I think I’ve mentioned that before. But... uh... the reason I’ve never really talked about Bobby is - that’s his name, by the way, sorry I shoulda started with that.’ I could feel myself sweating. I took another swig of beer.

Yoichi just looked expectant. His usual innocent, beautiful self. What the hell was he gonna think?

‘So, Bobby’s in a maximum security prison,’ I blurted as quickly as possible. ‘For life. Life sentence. He’s not allowed any visitors. We never see him. We haven’t seen him for years.’ I drank more. Bigger gulps. I couldn’t look Yoi in the eye. Next part was the worst. ‘He killed 5 people. Um, murder, I mean. And he maimed 5 others. We... We don’t really... I have nothing to do with him.’

When I looked up, Yoichi’s eyes were incredulous.

‘... Oh my God...,’ he said.

‘... Yeah...’

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘I know it’s a lot. It’s... not easy to talk about. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now-‘

‘No, of course. It’s - I get it.’

‘I guess you’ve probably got questions.’

‘Yeah... I... Yeah...’

Eventually, he did indeed have questions. I did my best to answer:

Bobby was always difficult growing up. He was that kid who would pull the legs off a frog, push other kids down for no reason. We had a cat for a while - it didn’t last. Bobby got older, and got more violent. Soon it was fights. Nights spent in cells. And court. Until the day came when the fight got bigger. Like, way too big. There was so much more I could’ve said. Like what it did to the family. How we all blamed ourselves. And, Jesus, the news crews.

‘They kept his room the same - Mom and Dad, I mean,’ I told Yoichi. ‘I think Mom still thinks he’s getting out some day. I don’t know. She’s... After Bobby was sent away, it was like Richard didn’t matter anymore. Not to them. They just forgot about the son that was left behind. Dad’s tried reaching out more recently, but Mom...’

Yoichi took my hand. I’d made my way through all the beers and my (far larger) share of the pizzas.

‘That was really big of you to tell me,’ he said after a while. ‘It must have been very hard for you.’

I nodded and blew out my cheeks, relieved to get the story out of me, more than anything. For some time neither of us spoke. I turned some of the animal carvings to face forward on their shelf.

‘So, in a way,’ he continued. ‘We’ve both lost family.’

That night in bed, Yoichi wrapped his huge arms around me (though they’d long stopped making it all the way around my vast circumference) and didn’t let go til morning.

I left him snoring gently in my apartment while I made some coffee. All of his time not spent running Sun Bakery, he’d dedicated to helping me with ‘Dicky’s’. He deserved a Sunday lay-in.

I got dressed as quietly as I could, lumbered my great bulk down the iron spiral staircase, and knocked on Mrs Cassidy’s door.

She answered, looking usually impeccable in spite of the early hour.

‘Richard.’ She sounded surprised.

‘Morning Mrs C. I just wanted - I know I’ve already left Midtown Maps, but I just wanted to give you this formal notice. You know, to make it official, kinda thing.’

I handed her the little document I’d printed out at Yoi’s place a couple days back. I don’t know why, but it just felt important to me to do all of this by the book. I’d always been like that.

‘Well that’s...,’ she started, taking the paper and blinking a couple times. ‘I appreciate that, sweetie.’

‘And thank you for giving me the job, and for everything, actually.’

Mrs Cassidy gave a little sigh, and smiled a rare smile.

‘I’m gonna miss having you help out around the place,’ she admitted. ‘We got a new girl starting tomorrow, but... Hmm.’

Then, quite unexpectedly, she pulled me into a big hug. She squeezed so tight, that her boobs smushed up against mine. I hugged back fiercely; I’d found that the bigger I got, the better the hugger I’d become.

But we were soon interrupted by a buzzing from my pocket - my phone.

‘I’m sorry, Mrs C, I just gotta-‘

‘Oh, you go right ahead.’

Someone was calling me. I didn’t recognize the number.

‘Sorry, I’d better take this.’

‘Go do what you need to,’ Mrs Cassidy said breezily. ‘I need to start breakfast. I’ll see you soon.’

I nodded as she closed the door, and pressed ‘answer’.

‘Hello?’

‘I can’t do it.’

‘Um, who is this? What can’t you do?’

‘She’s at the hospital right now. I just - I just can’t.’

(Wait... what?)

‘Start at the beginning. Who is this?’ I repeated.

‘Richard, she’s always talking about you. You have to go.’

...

‘... Lance?’

This was he first time I’d heard his voice. He sounded like he wanted to sell me a pyramid scheme.

‘Uh huh. You have to go. I can’t do it.’

‘Do what? Wait... You’re saying Paula’s at the hospital right now?’

‘She went into labor about 40 minutes ago.’

‘Why the hell are you calling me? Go be with her!’

‘I can’t. Can’t do it. I thought I could-‘

‘Can’t do what, exactly? You’re not... What are you saying?’

‘Can’t do this whole thing, buddy-‘

(I am NOT your goddamned buddy.)

‘- I’m not ready to be a dad. Or be tied down, or whatever-‘

‘You’re really doing this NOW? Are you for REAL?! Paula needs you! The baby needs you! Your baby!’

‘I don’t wanna be here. I’m gonna - gonna go. I need to leave. Back to the city. I can’t do this.’

‘Don’t you dare do this, Lance! Don’t you DARE!’

‘You go to her. Tell her - Tell her I just couldn’t.’

‘Are you freaking kidding me?! You’re not even gonna tell-‘

The phone went dead.

That... That ASSHOLE! Ughhh, I was right about Lance all along! He was an asshole when she met him. He’s an asshole now!

But I had to get to Paula. No time to be angry. Be angry later. Get to Paula now.

I tried her cell but she didn’t pick up, obviously, she was giving birth!

The hospital was all the way at the top of town. The trams would be too slow. It would have to be by taxi.

‘Come on, come on, come on...!’ I muttered under my breath. The cab was taking forever. There were still roadworks going on across the bridge, and traffic was crawling.

I texted Yoichi to tell him the deal, but I could see he hadn’t read the text yet. He might’ve still been asleep. Then I texted Paula to notify her I was on my way. I couldn’t tell her about Lance. Not now. The thought of breaking it to her at a time like this...

GOD, I hated Lance!

I threw the cash onto the seat my fat ass had just vacated and ran up to the hospital steps. Holy cow, I was unfit. I could actually feel my man-boobs and great heavy dad-gut bouncing as I ran. By the time I reached the reception I could barely talk.

I must’ve managed to just about wheeze out the pertinent information because pretty soon I was headed in the direction the confused receptionist pointed at, toward the maternity ward.

(I’m coming, Paula. I’ll be there, even if your lowlife scumbag partner won’t be.)

I ran past several confounded doctors and nurses, now with a stitch in my side, along endless identical corridors, but pretty soon I saw the sign reading ‘Maternity’.

In my mind I’d imagined bursting into the room dramatically, like in a movie or something. But in actuality I sorta leaned against the swing-door, heaving out breaths, huffing incoherencies.

‘P-la... M’here...’

Paul was sat upright in the hospital bed, looking like a beautiful mess, caked in sweat, cheeks flushed, no make-up, with a soft little package in her arms. She didn’t even look up. Her eyes were locked on the newborn cradled up against her.

‘Excuse me, sir, you can’t be in here.’ A midwife marched toward me.

‘S’okay... M’with her...’

Now Paula registered that something else was happening in the room. She looked up in a bit of a daze, and focused for a moment.

‘Richard...’

‘Are you the father?’ the midwife demanded.

‘Uhh...’

‘Dicky, oh my God, you’re here,’ Paula said weakly.

This seemed to be enough for the midwife, who stood aside with a begrudging sniff.

‘Hey,’ I said to Paula, coming to her side, my breath settling, then looking down at the little one who looked half asleep, half pissed off. ‘Hello.’

‘You came.’ Paula smiled slowly. ‘This is Lily.’

‘Hi Lily,’ I said, instantly smitten at her screwed-up, tiny face. She had Paula’s dark hair. She was adorable.

‘Where’s Lance?’

I couldn’t tell her about the phonecall, not the truth of it anyways. She was so vulnerable in this moment, and so filled with pure, unfiltered love.

‘He, uh... He...,’ I started. What could I tell her? ‘I... got here first.’

That sounded vague and stupid, but Paula just nodded a placid acceptance and returned her attention to Lily.

‘Are you okay? Do you need anything? Some water?’

‘She’s being well looked after, thank you very much,’ the midwife chimed in from across the room.

I turned.

‘Hey, how about you give us a minute, huh?’ I said. It wasn’t a question. And there was more aggression in my voice than I’d meant for, but screw it. I didn’t care.

She looked over at Paula, sniffed, and left the room.

‘I’m okay,’ Paula said, eyes still on her daughter. ‘Thanks, Dicky.’

‘Have they been alright? The staff, I mean. That lady seems... less than fun.’

Paula laughed a short feeble laugh, and nodded.

‘Mmm-hmm.’

‘Did you call your folks yet? You want me to call them?’

Paula inclined her head down at the now-dozing newborn. ‘She’s, like, brand new. It’s... okay for a minute.’ Then she added, ‘You wanna hold her?’

I’d never held a baby before. I kinda looked at her like a dope while she proffered up her freshly born child.

‘You just - make sure you got her head supported,’ she said. ‘That’s it, you got it.’

Lily’s head looked like a little potato in my massive, chunky hand.

‘Hey there,’ I crooned lightly.

Scooping her up properly - she weighed, like, nothing - I took her on a little tour of the room. The hospital’s location at the top of Cresthaven was such that the views here were spectacular. Far greater than those from my little apartment situated nearer the bottom of the hills. In fact, I was pretty sure I could see it from here. The whole town sloped down before us, down to the sea, down to the little ships bobbing here and there, all the traffic pootling along the criss-crossed streets, the colored trams, the thin plume of smoke -

(Wait...)

Smoke? Was that... Was that a fire? The plume was billowing in scale. A thickening pillar.

For some reason my heart suddenly felt sick. I was figuring out the location based on its proximity to my apartment when suddenly my cell went off in my pocket, and I quickly shifted Lily in my arms to get to it. It was Yoichi.

‘Richard!’ he shouted, before I’d even had a chance to speak. ‘Dicky’s is on fire!’