Dadbod, part 9

My life in Cresthaven seemed to bloom all the more vividly for having Yoichi in it.  By day I would drop by the Sun Bakery to sneak in some quick kisses out back, or he would lumber into Midtown Maps bringing another box of lovingly baked snacks to keep me going (I think even Mrs Cassidy was warming to his visits).

Then he would stay over at my place and we’d watch old horror movies on my VHS player, all tucked up in bed while he fed me dessert and jumped at all the scares. Then we’d laugh; he liked to hold onto my belly for comfort. Speaking of, it had grown significantly over the passing weeks! I’d ballooned past 350 pounds like it was nothing, and I was starting to get angry error messages from my scales. Yoichi loved to come clothes shopping with me, too, excited anytime a new ‘X’ stacked up against the ‘L’. Boy, I felt large!

I was rocking 54 inch chinos these days, and even those were snug! My belly had taken on a life of its own - it was now a massive swollen ginger ball stuck to my front. I could actually feel the weight of it; it felt magnificent, like a warm planetoid. Yoichi said I looked like the sexiest daddy he’d ever seen. I’m telling you, that man’s got the keys to my heart in the palm of his big chunky hands.

Oh, and the carvings were going great too. The list Mrs C had compiled for me actually grew a whole lot more, but I was getting through ‘em. I figured I’d try and get the entire batch made in one go, and I was getting close to finishing the lot.

Now, on the less bright side, despite multiple attempts, Paula had yet to make it to the fabled pregnancy celebration we’d planned so far back. I really wanted her to meet Yoichi too, but there was always a reason she couldn’t make it. It didn’t take a psychic to work out that that reason was always Lance.

And then, I didn’t even know what the heck to make of this:

‘Richard, it’s your Dad.’

‘Oh, hey Dad.’

‘I been tryna call you. A buncha times.’

(Okay, I’d been pretty bad about not calling back, to be honest.)

‘I know, I’m sorry. I’ve just been busy, is all.’

‘We haven’t heard from you in a while.’

‘I know...’

‘Listen, son, I don’t know...’ He took a beat. ‘The reason I’ve been tryna call is... It’s about that Angelo fella, you know, the one you used to... You know.’

‘You mean Angel?’

(What about Angel?)

‘Yeah, there’s, uh, there’s no easy way to say this.’ Dad sorta smacked his lips for a moment. He did that. ‘There was a bar fight broke out a month or so back, the whole town was talking about it and, well... your - Angel and some guy named Rex I think it was ended up in the hospital... Neither one of ‘em made it... I’m... I’m sorry, son.’

I didn’t answer. Not for a while.

‘... Oh... Oh.’ I couldn’t think of anything else.

‘I know you and he were... close.’

‘I... yeah...’

‘You know, it got me thinkin’ about Bobby o’course. I just... I hope you’re staying safe down there, is all.’

‘Uh...’ I think I was in shock. Or at least stunned. ‘Uh, no, yeah, no I’m - I’m staying safe, Dad.’

Dad stayed on the line. My instincts told me there was more he wanted to say, but how it was with Dad was like - the words always had to be dragged out of him. I don’t know why. It was like the simple act of just talking never came naturally to him.

‘Richard, listen,’ he began. ‘I know... I just want you to know... I’m thinking of you.’

I guess that should have been nice to hear, or comforting in some way, but...

‘Both of you, or just you?’

Dad heaved a great sigh that crackled against the receiver.

‘I’m getting your - your mother to come around.’ (Whatever that meant). ‘It’s not been easy, you know it hasn’t, since Bobby...’

‘You can’t keep his room just the way it was forever, you know.’

‘I know.’ More lip smacking. ‘I know. I’m tryna tell your Mom, it’s just - It’s like... Something inside her broke after what happened with your brother. She’s never been the same since...’

(And that was a valid excuse for neglecting the remaining son, was it?)

‘I know this, Dad. Why are you-‘

‘Well, just let me finish now, son,’ he said. ‘Point I’m tryna make is - I - I don’t care about how you wanna live your life-‘

‘Gee, thanks. You’ve both made that abundantly cl-‘

‘No, no I didn’t mean it like that. What I mean is - You’re my son, and I love you no matter what, okay? No matter what you choose, or - or - how you wanna live.’

‘You know people don’t choose to be gay, right?’

‘I know, dammit, Richard. Just - Shoot, this is hard for me.’

I should have given him more slack. I knew what he was trying to say. I guess I just felt kinda mixed up in that moment. So I took a deep breath and tried to center myself.

‘... I love you too, Dad.’

‘Well alright then.’ Maybe he sniffed on the line, I couldn’t be sure. ‘You leave your mother to me. I’ll... I’ll keep talking to her.’

‘Okay.’

Then we did the usual thing where both of us just continue to sign off like a game of ping pong until someone finally hangs up.

I put the phone down in my lap. Night had fallen over Cresthaven outside my giant window. For a while I simply sat there watching ships mooring far in the distance.

I felt weird.

The next morning I had to open up Midtown Maps, and it was time to sell the carvings. Truth was, I’d put it off for long enough.

‘Mrs C, is it okay if I just kinda line these up behind the counter?’

‘Can’t see why not,’ she responded, opening the window shutters.

I decided I would make my way down the list, call each customer and let them know their carving was ready for collection - I’d made a whole host of different animals; bears, horses, lions, giraffe, hippos, you name it.

I should’ve been on top of the world, but the feeling Dad’s call had left with me hung over the whole day. Angel and Rex, gone... I can’t say there was much love lost there, but still. I wouldn’t say it felt joyous either. I wasn’t going to go dancing over their graves or anything. I don’t know. And then there was the rest - all that stuff about Dad trying to come to terms with my sexuality in his very Dad way that he had. I shoulda been more lenient with him.

I kept thinking on all of this as customers came by to pick up their animal statuettes, all smiles and compliments. They loved the colors and the angular shaped designs. And they put good money down, too, and said they would recommend me to friends. Some even put in a second order! I knew that I would be thrilled once I’d shaken the weird mood off me. It just might be a delayed thing.

Once I’d wrapped the final one (except for Yoichi’s bear, of course) and seen the last customer out, we closed up the shop and I got to talking with Mrs Cassidy.

‘Mrs C, uh, how are we gonna split the profits from the carvings?’ I’d been avoiding asking this, which was stupid of me, I know.

‘Split the profits? What do you mean?’ she asked.

‘Oh. I thought, uh... Well, I know we hadn’t really talked about it, but-‘

‘Those are your sales, Richard. You made all those critters. All on your own. The profits are yours.’

Oh! I hadn’t expected this.

‘But what about the store?’

‘The store will be fine. It was fine before you and your carvings came along. It’ll sure enough be fine without them.’

(Wait). A little trill of panic shot through me.

‘When you say ‘without them’, what do you, uh...?’

She sighed one of her sighs that caused her mighty bosom to rise and fall.

‘Oh, sweet boy, listen to me.’ (She’d never called me that before!) ‘Folks love your woodwork. Hell, I’ve never seen so many people in here. You have something. Those little colorful animals? You’re onto something. D’you understand what I’m saying?’

‘Um, thank you, Mrs C. I'm still... not sure...’

‘You could sell these, Richard.’ She picked up Yoichi’s bear. ‘You. On your own. Do you hear me? You could fly.’

‘Wait, you mean like - like a stall?’ I was kinda dumbstruck.

‘No,’ she said. ‘Like a store.’

(My own store? I would never have even contemplated it. I was only 22, for cryin’ out loud. Was it... Was it really possible?)

That night, I finally gave Yoichi his bear.

‘Ohhhhh!’ His eyes lit up. ‘Arigato gozaimasu!’

‘That’s "Thank you", right? Or "Thank you very much"?’

‘See, you’re learning,’ he beamed. ‘Ugh, I love little BearBear, thank you so much!’

And with that he suddenly scooped me up in his massive arms, planted a great big kiss on my lips and actually lifted me off the ground, just half a foot or so, but it was danged impressive, given my weight! I don’t think a mere mortal could’ve picked me up like that. Only Yoichi with his godlike muscles and strength.

‘God, I love you,’ I blurted out.

Then immediately I turned red. I’d never said this out loud before. We weren’t ‘there’ yet, or at least I was worried we weren’t. And now I couldn’t take it back. I mean, I didn’t want to, but...

(Oh God, have I just gone and opened my big mouth again?)

‘You - You do?’ he asked. There was such an innocent expression on his face.

I hoped so hard I hadn’t messed this up.

‘Cos... I love you too,’ he continued quietly. ‘So so much.’

And then, I guess because of the pent up tension suddenly being released, I just laughed out loud, and kissed him again.

‘Oh, thank God, haha!’ I said.

And he looked at me like I was crazy for a minute, before joining me.

‘You were worried?’ he asked. ‘I’m crazy about you, Richard!’

‘I’m sorry, I just - I really love you, Yoichi.’

‘I love hearing you say that, my big bellied bear.’

He was smiling that pure, infectious, utterly joyous smile of his. I just wanted to hold him forever.

‘Could you lift me up again?’

The time had come. Weeks had passed. Months, actually. Plans made and then un-made, but finally - Paula and Lance could come out for dinner with Yoichi and me. It was really happening.

Yoichi recommended a great sushi bar on Vanilla Wharf, and by now I’d taken to always trusting his recommendations; he was the gastronomic expert of Cresthaven, after all.

So we got there early. I put on my best shirt that still fit (XXXL), Yoichi wore the cologne that he knew drove me crazy, and we waited patiently for the happy, expectant couple.

Half an hour passed. No sign of them. I texted Paula and got a couple of ‘On our way’s back. But when 45 minutes passed, I started to feel embarrassed. I’d talked up my best friend to my boyfriend so much. And of course he was far too polite to say anything negative.

‘Oh my God, I’m SO sorry!’ Paula suddenly rushed in, and...

The bump was huge!

‘There was - they’re doing a thing on the bridge, some kinda roadworks. I’m so, so sorry, you guys!’

I got up and helped her into her seat, removing her jacket too. I couldn’t get over just how pregnant she was...

‘Just gonna warn you now, I’m prolly gonna get up to pee like 16 times - Sorry, hi, I’m Paula, hi!’ She remembered to hold out a hand to Yoichi, who shook it and introduced himself.

‘So, Lance...?’ I asked, but really I needn’t have.

‘Oh! He can’t - He says sorry - He can’t make it, he’s gotta work late tonight, he told me to tell you. Phew! The taxi was so - Have you ever taken a taxi here? I shoulda caught the tram!’

Of course Lance wasn’t coming. He’d never intended to, I was sure.

‘It’s so nice to finally meet you,’ she turned on Yoichi. ‘Richard’s talked about you - All good, I should add, ha!’

And things carried on that way for a while. Paula warned us about her ‘pregnancy brain’ which tended to leave her somewhat scattered from time to time. Yoichi was the perfect gentlemen. He soaked up all her yammering, recommended the best sushi for us all to get started on, and laughed at all of Paula’s salacious jokes. I loved just watching him interact with her. I felt so happy in this moment.

‘And you’re looking well, Dicky,’ she glanced down at my frankly enormous belly. ‘Life’s treating you good, I see.’

‘Whatdya reckon,’ I replied, ‘Is my bump bigger than yours?’

‘Ha! Oh - Oh crap,’ she laughed. ‘I think I just peed my pants a little!’

The three of us burst into snorts of laughter.

Pretty soon the drinks were flowing (soda for Paula, beers for us) and the sushi was wonderful and plentiful, and we were all chatting so easily, it was as if Paula and Yoichi had known each other their whole lives.

Paula revealed she was expecting a little girl. She and Lance hadn’t decided any names yet. And sometimes, Paula said, she could feel the baby kicking. She let me and Yoi feel the bump. It was amazing to know that a new life was being formed in there.

At one point Yoichi produced ‘BearBear’ (the name had stuck) and plonked him on the table.

‘Look at what Richard made for me,’ he said proudly. ‘He made like a whole ton of them. Loads of people wanted to buy one, haha.’

‘Ohhh, that’s so sweet!’ Paula picked up the little bear and turned it in her hands. ‘I remember when you used to make these with your Dad.’

For a horrified moment, I thought she was gonna bring up Bobby, but thankfully left it there.

‘My boss, Mrs Cassidy, thinks I could open my own store. She says they’re popular enough. I don’t know...’

‘What? That’s amazing!’ Yoichi turned to me in shock. ‘You didn’t mention that part. That’s so awesome, sweetheart!’

‘Sorry, I just didn’t know... Like, I don’t know if I could do it.’

‘Dicky,’ Paula placed BearBear firmly back on the table and skewed more sushi into her mouth. ‘Oh my God, you have to!’

‘... I do?’

‘Yeah, hell yeah!’

‘It’s up to you, but I think it would be amazing,’ Yoichi told me. He took my fat hand in his. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

‘Thanks so much guys.’ I felt myself flush a little. ‘You really - You really think I could do it?’

And that was it. I’d opened Pandora’s Box. Pretty soon the three of us were coming up with plans for how I could make this work. It was almost like they wanted it even more than I did, haha! Yoichi, with his expert knowledge of Cresthaven, knew some of the best areas for trade, and thought he knew some spots where free units were available for lease. Paula reckoned she could help me advertise (apparently she’d picked up quite a lot of business acumen from managing the fruit stall). I’d have to take out a loan, make a business plan, so much stuff. I’d need equipment. I’d need everything! It was daunting as hell, but the more we talked it over, the more exciting it became. I’d never in a million years thought anyone would be interested in my little carvings. And now here we were, talking about opening my own store!

I loved being here, filling up on delicious food and making plans with my best friend and my incredible boyfriend.

And the best part about the whole thing?

Yoichi didn’t let go of my hand the entire night.