Can One Displaced Hero Save the Galaxy? (63-65)
Added 2024-12-30 00:26:57 +0000 UTC*1/3/2024 - Edits made thanks to Foreign Traveler's feedback!
Whew! Last story for the month done! Sorry this one took so long guys, gals, and others! But, well, you also got an extra nearly-full-sized update of Halfway Broken this month, so no complaining ;-). This update is also over 16.5k words, so it's on the larger size of normal, which should hopefully be an additional soothing balm for it being out so late in the month.
I'm also, all in all, quite pleased with it. We got more Padme and Sabe (who are proving consistently fun to write), Mei finally got a bit of a lemon (which will set up some more lemon fun for her given it's nature!), we get a moderate dose of ship/tech nerding, and even a little bit of both space and ground (err sort of ground) combat!
A quick special thanks to Jamie Celtic for the name for the new ship class that shows up in it, by the by. The picture for the post is what I imagine that ship to be like, though likely in blacks and electric blue since the whole faction has a cyberpunk aesthetic as a way to make their ships stand out (chosen by Mei, of course). Also, thanks to whoever it was that mentioned I should do some combat scenes from the perspective of mech pilots and such. I tried to find the comment and couldn't track it down, or I'd have mentioned you specifically, sorry T-T!
Edit! Important(ish!) I nearly forgot! I changed a scene in the Master Files. Someone pointed out that I'd already done the bunnygirl thing with the assistant once. So in Chapter 61: Pause for Breath it's now something a bit more scandulous. Which is also relevant to something Mei does (or is wearing) in the new chapters!
Now for the usual stuff! You'll find the new chapters attached to this post in various formats, and I'll be updating the Pinned Post and its Master Files with updated master files that include everything. There will also be some author's note, lots of them probably given the content this time, in the comments. Though you'll have to wait a bit on those, I still have to write them up ;-). Enjoy!
Comments
Ugh. So, this is something I've admitted previously to being conflicted about. The Death Watch is likely to show up, at least. You're right that they are exactly the type the Hutts would hire. Other Mandalorian...I'm a little reluctant. I like a lot about how the Mandalorians were ORIGINALLY developed, in Legends games like Kotor and SWTOR. I heartily dislike the way that was butchered and reimagined for the Mandalorian TV series, though. Trouble is, I know that show was massively popular. Which means if I introduced the version of them I'd love to play with, I'd be fighting a bit of an uphill perception battle on what Mandos 'should be like.' I still haven't decided if it's worth the headache.
Novus Peregrine
2025-01-09 22:53:01 +0000 UTCSo a thought just occurred to me. Will we be running into any mandalorians here shortly.?The death watch at least would probably be hired by the hutts. It would be a good group for the league military to truly struggle with.
Tigger42
2025-01-09 16:32:04 +0000 UTCI meant it was rough in that it had an unusual number of corrections :-p. And it honestly did, I was sort of rushing with some of the updates because of the holidays, so it's not surprising. But looking back on those area I ended up doing minor reworking for clarity, the result was a bit less polished than usual for me. Thankfully, you helped point out a few areas like that with the corrections, as some of them were technically right...but it was obvious I'd made the sentences too convoluted to be clear.
Novus Peregrine
2025-01-04 01:13:01 +0000 UTCAh, that makes sense. And it wasnβt rough at all! Just been busy with Christmas, New Years and I havenβt been feeling the best lately. Which is why I was so βughβ. Still, this was the last of the stories that needed to be edited that should have been done in December. So I finally planted myself in my chair to get it done. Amazing work as always Novus!
The Foreign Traveler
2025-01-03 07:33:36 +0000 UTCBlergh, that was a rough one, huh? Made what corrections I agree with. There were a decent few I didn't in this case, though even a couple of those I reworded to be less awkward. So thanks! As for the lemon tag, I actually debated putting it roughly where you suggested originally. Unfortunately, I've had a number of people put off the fic by the whole chastity play thing. And it is, unquestionably, a sex thing. So I moved the Lemon marker up farther to help people avoid that if they are skipping lemons because of it. Essentially, I erred on the side of caution.
Novus Peregrine
2025-01-03 07:29:30 +0000 UTCUgh, I can finally get to this last portion... DB Chapter 63 Page 1: ...until there "as" nothing left but emptiness. Edit: ...until there "was" nothing left but emptiness. Page 3: The aura of the station and it's people was a heady thing, as full of hope and determination as it was "not a little bloodthirst." Edit: The aura of the station and it's people was a heady thing, as full of hope and determination as it was, "it was not a little bloodthirsty." (?) Page 7: Given "that" what was happening in Hutt Space... Edit: Given what was happening in Hutt Space... ...allow them to keep the power block "that'd" been working on... Edit: ...allow them to keep the power block "they'd" been working on... So "it was that funding the building and maintenance" of that network was a critical function of the Republic. Edit: So "the funding, building and maintaining" of that network was a critical function of the Republic. Page 8: ...could be "source from" Hutt Space was not... Edit: ...could be "sourced from" Hutt Space was not... Page 9: Naboo being included just "add" fuel for anyone claiming Naboo... Edit: Naboo being included just "added" fuel for anyone claiming Naboo... Hutt space "and" grown and shrunk over twenty-five millennia, and the Hutts had insisted on "baking" that fact into the trade arrangements with the Republic. Edit: Hutt space "had" grown and shrunk over twenty-five millennia, and the Hutts had insisted on that fact "being written"(?) into the trade arrangements with the Republic. Chapter 64 Page 11: Honestly part of the reason... Edit: Honestly, part of the reason... Page 13: "Tough' I might need a bit of help... Edit: "Though' I might need a bit of help... Likely, he realized, "having already" whatever idea for this belt was at owrk. Edit: Likely, he realized, "already having" whatever idea for this belt was at work. (Seems to flow better to me) Page 14: (Think it might be better to put the "Lemon Starts Here", above this.) -Lemon Starts Here- Tempted to tease her for just a moment. he eventually decided against it and followed the prompts on the bioscanner. (This way, it'll actually be closer to the "Lemon" in question rather then the reader having to read a couple pages worth of words before getting to the juicy bits. Your call still of course Novus. I can only advise you after all...) ...Izuku "shift" to hold the box in one hand... Edit: ...Izuku "shifted" to hold the box in one hand... Page 15: using the other to "reach a" single finger to tickle Mei's magic button. Edit: ...using the other to "reach with a" single finger to tickle Mei's magic button. "I tested the portals "to" destruction on other things! Edit: "I tested the portals "capacity to destroy" on other things! (?) Page 17: ...for the Particle Beam into the "made" network after all (Delete "made"? Did you have another word in mind? Or is it fine as is?) The galaxy had a very "confused" definition of the various ship classes... Edit: The galaxy had a very "confusing" definition of the various ship classes... (?) ...the Siege class to a "light cruiser..." Edit: ...the Siege class to a "Light Cruiser..." ...half of all warships in existence probably "qualitied!" Edit: ...half of all warships in existence probably "qualified!" Page 19: Given their "specie's" close ties... Edit: Given their "species" close ties... Page 20: ...a blank space with barely higher than background energy radiation. Edit: ...a blank space with barely higher than "average" background energy radiation. Chapter 65 Page 21: The impressive part of "that" was that... Edit: The impressive part of "this" was that... Page 22: "It's that right, ladies, gentleman?" Edit: "Isn't that right, ladies, gentleman?" Page 24: It was the other hyperspace route was possibly... Edit: It was the other hyperspace route "that" was possibly... Page 25: Why then, the enemy "must wonder,..." Edit: Why then, the enemy "must be wondering,..." Later then I usually finish but done regardless!
The Foreign Traveler
2025-01-03 04:36:23 +0000 UTCThis version of Padme is just plain fun to write. So much more so than I expected, honestly. I'm glad you like the new chapters, and a Happy New Year to you too :-).
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 16:19:43 +0000 UTC...Asking the real questions I see. Umm...oral health benefits? And if they don't have a mouth, than something species equivalent? Proper leaf nutritional maintenance for Neti?
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 16:18:22 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapters! Its great π to be reading more of this great story! Love the first part π€£ with Padme, I could just picture her reactions and I look forward to reading much more of Padme's interactions with our MC! Thanks again for your amazing work on this story! I am looking forward to reading much more of this great story in the new year! I wish you a Happy New Year π!
Aeden Emrys
2024-12-30 11:14:09 +0000 UTCIf your species have no teeth or mouth, did they have dental benefits anyway?
a no
2024-12-30 10:14:16 +0000 UTCHey credit where credit is due :-p. It was/is a great name for a ship class. Particularly a big and tanky capital ship that totally has its own epic Smite ability with that Particle Beam! As it happens, I'm planning another Palpy reaction bit for the next update, and some of the things brought up here will feature. As for other hints about the next update, we should also start to see the Jedi that decided they want to be involved more than wanting to listen to the Council start to trickle in. Padme beat them to Tythe by virtue of resource access. Her position gives her immediate access to an extremely fast diplomatic vessel. Whereas the various Jedi, cut out from their normal resources by their own choice, are taking a bit longer to make their way to either Tythe or directly into Hutt Space. As for Anakin, he's certainly reacting, but I'm not sure if we'll see it just yet or not. It's something I'd like to fit in somewhere, but I'm unsure where or when I'll put it. The fact I haven't quite decided which way Obi-wan will come down on the issue doesn't help. He's normally extremely straight laced as a Jedi, but he's also got a personal history of deciding to do the right thing over the Jedi thing at times. So it's a bit hard to puzzle out where he'd come down on with this one.
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 03:23:04 +0000 UTCFirstly thanks for the shout out it made my day, secondly i loved padme's reaction to the bunny outfit and could totally see sabe actually getting the handmaidens to do it at some point to mess with padme and possibly izuku π , also now wondering how many grey area planets will join the league and how palpy will respond to that, loved the mei scenes and her poses lol,found aaylas and the admirals pov cool aswell basically loved reading the whole chapter and it has me psyched for next months though im curious about whats planned for that any chance of a hint or 2? π , final bit im curious how anakins reacting to someone going after the hutts/slavers will we see/read it at somepoint in the future?
Jamie Celtic
2024-12-30 02:57:07 +0000 UTCYep. I added that as an author's comment, but you beat me to that :-).
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 01:14:14 +0000 UTCChapter 65: A/N 1: So...I don't like Hondo, as it happens. He annoys the fuck out of me in the same way Jar Jar (who doesn't bother me, oddly) annoys a lot of other people. I was actually a little annoyed to discover that there was a completely legitimate use for him in this story. The background bits I included for him? Completely canon. He was a slave that escaped, set himself up as an advisor to a Hutt, then betrayed that Hutt and took most of Porla's best people with him to make his gang. To my mild annoyance, the timing actually lines up more or less right for that to have happened while the League was building up local revolutions. Which made him a 100% canon, 100% logical recruit...who would ABSOLUTELY escalate and double down. Since I know a lot of other people-who-aren't-me like him, I decided to include him and treat him fairly. Just...don't expect him to show up super often due to my not being a fan. A/N 2: The Hedgehog system was actually the last of the major space-based tech advantages I gave the League. Those advantages are 1) The Null Torpedoes 2) Graviton Beams 3) Mass Accelerator Spinal mounts of the Siege Class that have been mentioned but not really show in detailed use. 4) The Hedgehog missile defense system. 5) The Toru-Class, sort of. It's currently only a half-effective stealth ship. 6) You could technically count the QECs, but only sort of, as everyone else has access to an equivalent in the Hypercomm. The only real advantage of the QECs is security. These advantages were given to them as a way to help them fight a massive uphill battle. But many of them will prove to have limitations and soft-counters. They aren't going to steamroll everyone with them. Which is actually the point in me showing their R&D element continuing to turn out advantages as fast as they can. They are going to NEED them. Notably, the Hedgehog in the one system that I think is the SMALLEST jump, in-universe. Star Wars fleets already have the concept of point defense. I see the only reason for them NOT to have something like this system already as being that it's technically materials intensive. Putting another strain on logistics. A/N 3: Yes, the micro-missiles the Striker uses are essentially the same system as the Hedgehog. In fact, a piece of background information that might never make it into the fic is that the Striker's micro-missile defense system was developed first. Mei made it in response to losing some Strikers in anti-slaver raids for the Shattered Shackles to shoulder-launched missile systems. She then realized it could be scaled up into a capital ship anti-missile-swarm defense and did so. This is part of why the Hedgehog doesn't show up on smaller ships, as it's technically a refit/add on in a lot of cases. Also, the smaller ships just don't have enough physical space to get away with storing hundreds or thousands of counter missiles. Even small ones.
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 01:00:30 +0000 UTCChapter 64: A/N 1: A lemon for Mei! A uniquely Mei-flavored lemon in which she finds a way to turn a kinky thing she's seen Aayla and Izuku do and boost it to a level of insanity that perfectly suits her ;-)! A/N 2: The Paladin class, like the Interdictor design they are working on and the new stealth designs as well, aren't CURRENT options they have. I'm showing their R&D here. The League is WELL aware that they have an uphill battle in front of them. Of the 700 or so words in Hutt Space, they've only captured maybe two dozen by the end of this chapter set. They are working on the assumption that their current edges are going to wear off and need replacing with new tricks and bigger guns. Something they are entirely correct about. A/N 3: For clarity here, Adegan crystals are not Ilum cave crystals. They are found elsewhere, on multiple worlds. The bit about the different types is at least Legends canon. As is the Sith, at one point in a previous war, planning to make a Stealth Fleet using them. Luxum simply hit on the same idea.
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 00:50:57 +0000 UTCChapter 63: A/N 1: If you recognized the series the Void and the Flame technique Padme used comes from, give yourself a cookie! The Wheel of Time is my favorite series of books and has been since I was a teenager...which is long enough ago that I had to read something like a third of them as they came out. A/N 2: If you recognized where the design for Tythe Central came from? Also give yourself a cookie! I pretty much completely stole the design of the Citadel from Mass Effect. I always thought it was sort of cool and very under explored. This version, of course, is not a mass relay to dark space. A/N 3: Tech levels. I think I've explained before that I attribute some of the odd tech level inconsistencies in Star Wars (if we're looking for an in-universe explanation) to the fact that it's nearly impossible to create new tech AT SCALE for something as large as the Republic. As a result, cool new tech ideas might never escape their originating planet or, at best, their sector, as no one can manufacture enough of anything beyond the basics to spread it everywhere. Hence, Mei has introduced things like smartphones (smartcomms in this case), which are popular on Tythe. But they can't make anywhere near enough of them to spread them to the entire Republic. A/N 4: Izuku isn't the one behind the benevolent psy-ops. Some of his minions are doing it without bothering to tell him. Though he'd approve if they explained it to him properly. A/N 5: Alderaan's position. Many people mistake Alderaan as entirely pacifistic. They aren't, at least not at this time. They err on the side of peaceful negotiations, but they are very much capable of defending themselves and don't buy into the idea of peaceful neutrality at pretty much any point in their history.
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 00:41:43 +0000 UTCIs the station the mass effect citadel
swift arrow
2024-12-30 00:39:56 +0000 UTCThis comment is for author's notes! Beware spoilers! And if you want to comment on one of them, please do so in a separate comment NOT nested here, in order to keep these orderly!
Novus Peregrine
2024-12-30 00:35:21 +0000 UTC
