Alright, Back to Work

And so, my mental health break comes to an end. And- what did I learn?

I learned that my brain desperately needs time to just- not think about anything. Not be working, planning, plotting- It immediately becomes more curious about the world and impulsively wants to try new things when I'm not locked in all the time. I got the urge to try out a yoga class, go to a chess club, even wonder if there was somewhere I could get archery lessons. And I was able to actually sit down and watch some new stuff- my attention span usually being too shot to properly absorb and enjoy new media.

With enough time detached from work- my brain actively starts to wander, I start imagining scenarios in more detail and completely unprompted. I was genuinely surprised to catch myself drifting off and daydreaming without any prompting- my brain just so excited to think about this idea when I wasn't forcing it to.

And physically- I feel pretty good. I've gotten more sleep, done more exercise, and have been enjoying just- checking out. But mentally...

I guess it would have been too much to hope that a break would fully recharge my mental state. Especially in this day and age. There are so many horrible things going on right now- that even greatly reducing my social media use didn't allow me to detox- the anxiety constantly boiling in the background. Not to mention, two weeks of not working meant that my financial situation has become strained.

Rest alone won't make everything better. And I'm not the type of person to be able to fully ignore what causes me anxiety. I'll need to try to find new ways of processing anxiety and grief going forward- if I'm to have any hope of mental clarity.

So, what am I going to be doing next? I'm going to be focusing on commissions- almost exclusively. I've got some debts to cover and need to rebuild my savings. I wish I could say that I had a perfect project picked out- but I'm proud to say I didn't give much thought at all to immediately jumping into another project. Ideas crossed my mind, some I'm even excited for. But- I have other priorities to begin with.

I'll be focusing on commissions- and maybe updating my social medias and avatars for the first while back. As I prepare for Sizecon!

Thanks for all the support through all this everyone. I couldn't do it without you.

I'm going to keep trying at this whole- art thing- for a while longer.