Draining News (Short Story)

Draining News

Written By SteeleBlazer

Draining news… Make that breaking news—the male bodybuilding champion Brock Quarry has been drained of all his muscles on the bodybuilding stage of his recent competition. Right on stage while posing and celebrating yet another of his many, but sadly most likely last of championships, he was sapped of all his size and strength, leaving Quarry mined out of all his muscular mass. The culprit who stole and siphoned all his steely iron thews was the female bodybuilder champion Sydney Pryne—I guess she wasn’t satisfied with just winning the woman’s division—she had to use some strange voodoo to divide and drain and break the reign of Brock Quarry dwindling him and robbing him prodigious muscle mass, while through strange scientific math’s his hypotrophic mass was multiplied and added to Sydney’s, which adds up to no one on earth being her muscular equal, but it is dividing fans of the sport…

Mostly because they don’t think it’s sporting for a fellow competitor to steal another’s, but sporting or not, the sport of bodybuilding has a new champion. And from that smug smile she’s sporting I bet she thinks its swell that she’s so nice and swole now…

When asked why, she just flexed and smiled and said, “Why not!”

Of course in hindsight that was rather a stupid first question to ask, and the subsequent follow up question, one that eerily seemed to be asked by way, way too many overly eager women was just how did she do it.

And in news to most men out there, the answer was because she was a succubus—or rather she used one of the many male muscle drain products that a company called Succubus produces and sells. And I’ll leave it to the reader to discover where, if they’re interested that is, and it should be a growing concern among all men—if there is indeed growing interest in these products, where they can find them.

Apparently there have been other reports of similar muscle theft and armed robbery going on for a while, but never on so large and grand of a stage as this one, and never resulting in such a large and grand and imposing woman. As we transition back to Sydney and her amazing transformational theft, one can’t wonder if this is curtains for not just the broken Broke Quarry, but for all male bodybuilding, and if this is not just the first act in a strange new play.

When asked what she would do for an encore Sydney just smiled and flexed, and boy o’boy you can really tell she loved her muscles… And I guess Brock’s too, but sense possession is nine tenths the law, they’re legally her muscles now… A fact that might surprise and shock and indeed scare most male readers… And heaven help us if it excites and interest those female readers out there… But, it’s true there are no laws against male muscle theft, even though of course armed robbery is illegal, but not it’s not illegal to steal a man’s beefy, bulging, brawny biceps… Least not if you’re a woman, and if a woman were to do something like that, there would be nothing least about her…

So, then the question is just what drove her to commit, if not a legal lawful crime, a crime against nature itself and steal the strongest man in the world’s muscles?

Well, Sydney told me it was always in her nature to be as big and strong and powerful as she could be. And her whole life, being a woman, she just felt that no matter how big and strong she’d gotten that she never really measured up against the men—and she thought that was the real crime.

She was a world class, world champion female bodybuilder, one of the biggest, strongest women to ever live and she wasn’t content. And it really is that simple… She just wasn’t content with being just the women’s heavy bodybuilding champion. She wanted to be the ultimate bodybuilding champion in the world—bigger than any man or woman. But despite all her hard work and intense workouts, things just didn’t work out for her because she couldn’t get the gains she needed.

So, she decided to steal the male champion’s gains. Now, all his hard work and hers combined have transformed her into the ultimate hardbody. She’s the biggest and strongest person in the entire world.

As for the former male champ, he’s just a shrimpy little chump now, and it’s just hard luck for him that he was on the wrong stage at the wrong time—it could have happened to anybody.

However, with the recent publicity surrounding this event, sales of male muscle drain products have grown—just like her—to an all-time high. The sales have really flown through the roof—just like how her top has flown right off her broad, bulging, muscular chest! This will really make things hard for men and male bodybuilding, because no doubt this means muscular men will be harder to find as their muscles sag to all-time lows, and more men will end up like skinny chumps like the former champ.

Yes, such notions and expressions like manly strength might, in fact, be yesterday’s news—thanks, or depending on your perspective, no thanks to Succubus and all its male muscle drain products.

Speaking of yesterday’s news, we asked Brock Quarry for his thoughts and perspective on this whole affair. Besides stating that it was, “No fair that all my muscles were stolen,” he really didn’t add anything meaningful to the conversation. With all his crying and whining, it wasn’t worth breaking my back bending over and being hunched down trying to understand the little pipsqueak.

Switching perspectives, Sydney Pryne’s towering presence looms large—literally and figuratively. There’s more to her than meets the eye… way, way more, because she fills up the eye until she’s all you can see. A muscular mountain of a woman and in this reporter’s opinion she is undoubtedly worth the climb—I just hope she has a similar opinion of me. While Sydney claims she has no plans to drain any more men of their muscles, she might just drain men in other ways… Or at least I for one hope so!

To this reporter, it wouldn’t be surprising to find future breaking news of men’s pelvises being broken. As for me, she could break my heart—and my hip—anytime she wishes. And boy o’ boy, do I ever wish she would.

Breaking news—Sydney Pryne has drained another man… This time, it was this reporter. While she didn’t drain me of my muscles, I can say with the utmost of my journalistic integrity and credibility that I am most certainly and completely drained. I can also confirm that this reporter’s hip is in check—but I can report that Sydney did break the entire bed: the mattress, the bedframe, the headboard, and, well, if that doesn’t qualify as breaking news, then I don’t know what else does… I just hope that if I buy a sturdier bed, then maybe that’ll qualify me for a second date…

Lastly, speaking of dates—man’s time as the strongest sex might well, in fact, be dated and expired. Mark your calendars as today’s date might be the dawning of the era of female muscular supremacy… Especially with the advent and invention of more and more male muscle drain devices, which seem to flood the market and steal men’s muscular might more and more with each passing day, leaving us men in a daze… But you can trust me to cover it whenever there is draining news—I’ll break that story, sure as certain, my hip will break any matter of dates or days now. Just as Sydney will keep on breaking not just beds but boundaries and taboos for all woman-kind!

And trust me, there is nothing taboo about a muscular dreamboat of a woman—even if that dreamboat of a woman is bigger than the Titanic itself, breaking hearts, breaking hips, and breaking beds, and draining men… She can drain me anytime—and I hope she does—but when reached for comment, Brock Quarry said otherwise… But only weak men are scared of strong women, and Brock Quarry is literally one of the weakest men alive today, and that’s not just in this reporter’s humble opinion.