Butler Boy - Chapter 14

“You suck – so hard,” Addie spat, lying back on the broad stones of my secret clifftop base.

“I mean, I didn't do anything, it was all Shadow. Whossa good girl? That's right, you are,” I cooed, giving the dire wolf a rubdown that she obviously enjoyed. Yin and Yang, being dogs as well, came over to demand attention. “Yeah, yeah, you two are good boys, too.”

“I still can't get over what a great view this place is,” Algie shook his head, having had more time to recover than Addie.

Seriously, it's like neither of them had ever ridden a giant extinct wolf before.

“Oh wow... you can see all of Thomasville from up here,” Addie breathed out, her eyes wide as she stared across the distance.

Not that there was all that much to see. The town was less than three thousand people even on its best days – exempting the busiest holidays – and situated in a neat little box canyon with sheer cliff walls on three sides. Still, it was a picturesque little town, probably why the population jumped so high during Christmas and Spring Break.

“Yeah, that's one of the reasons I wanted to put my hideout here,” I nodded, leaning back against one of the large mountain stones.

“...killer view aside, why can't you just put it on one of the big rocks behind the house or something?” Addie asked, finally taking her eyes off the mountainous vista. “I mean... yeah, you can fly up here with your flame powers, apparently, but wouldn't it be more accessible to have baby's first superhero lair somewhere you can more easily reach?”

My smile melted off my face as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Do you hate fun, Addie?”

My sister gave me a similarly-blank stare. “I'm sorry, Ardie, I'll try to be a little bit more into your little superhero role play game when I'm not frustrated over the fact that you have every medical degree known to man shoved into your head, thus making a complete mockery of my efforts to graduate college with a nursing degree.”

I looked away first. “Fair.”

“I thought so,” Adelaide snorted, then rolled her eyes. “Look, my main concern is just that you setting up camp a couple hundred feet off the ground and a dozen miles outside of town means you're going to be really alone out here. Algie and I are absolutely not going to be able to get up here unless we ride Shadow. If no one can find you and we run out here to discover you bleeding out on the ground, it's a hell of a hike back to Thomasville, too.”

Sighing, I rubbed my head at the cogent and sensible counterargument. “Fine, you've got a point, but it's not like I'm actually going to be running out fighting villains or anything sometime soon. And when I do, I'm not going to have all that much in the way of immediate support. Think of this as more of a training exercise to see if I can handle setting up a base to operate from, taking test flights, and all that. Plus, you know that I've got at least one instant-heal on me at all times, given what I can do.”

Addie clicked her tongue and sighed. “Alright, fine. It's your hideout, put it wherever you want. Just don't whine to me about having to come out here when it's pouring rain or when there's six feet of snow on the ground.”

“Also training,” I pointed out with a nod, making her frown. I shrugged, “Look, if I can't handle a little inclement weather, I might as well just throw in the towel right now. Not wanting to go out and save the day because I might get a little wet? Lamest superhero ever. Plus, I need the practice flying anyway. I'm okay with small distances, but I was still a little shaky on the way up here, even.”

“Just... don't get sick, little bro, okay? If you're going to be flying in that kind of shit.” Addie sighed... then looked over to Algernon. “Anything to add, Big Al?

Algie winced. “Please don't? Just Al, okay? And... like, until Arden actually hurts himself or something, I was just going to let him do whatever. You know how he can get.”

I opened my mouth... then closed it.

They were implying I was stubborn and... regardless of whether that was true, it behooved me to stay out of the conversation at the moment.

“Ugh, fine. Boys,” Addie sighed exasperatedly. “So do the thing already and get us somewhere we can get away from the cold, alright?”

I nodded, removing the 'Hideout Realtor' ticket from my pocket and heading over to where a single large rock jutted out from the mountain, casting a shadow over a dozen square feet next to the rising cliff face. To my untrained eye, it looked secure enough, didn't have much weight on top of it, and would serve as a nice little awning for my 'front door.'

Also, Shadow's den was right next to it, tucked away in a similarly-sheltered area that would protect her from winds, rain, and snow.

“Here we go,” I muttered, pressing the ticket against the surface and tearing it in half.

There was a shimmer, then a door suddenly appeared in the face of the rock. It wasn't immediately obvious, being colored much like its surroundings, but looked sturdy and-

“So... did it work?” Algie asked, looking over my shoulder.

-was apparently unnoticeable to anyone else.

“It's right here,” I said, reaching out and putting my fingers in a crevice that – if I didn't know any better – would have seemed like part of the rock face. Instead, the section of rock slid free and tucked itself into a pocket as I opened it.

“Jesus!” Addie cried, her feet scraping the ground as I heard her take a half-step back.

“Holy crap!” Algernon spat, similarly unnerved. “I couldn't see it until you opened it, but... damn, how does that work?”

“Magic?” I asked rhetorically, smirking at the twin looks from my older siblings I got in return. “Well, the ticket for the hideout did say it was supposed to be 'secret,' which probably means that no one can notice it until I invite them in. Something like that.”

“Huh... neat,” Algie muttered, following me as I moved in.

The door opened into a large room that was sparsely furnished. Large sofa-couch that, at a glance, I thought might be a sleeper, done up in deep blue with black trim. The walls were a similar shade, just slightly lighter, with hardwood flooring. I'd have to pick at it to see if it was real or just quality laminate, but it looked real. A standard blocky coffee table, a television hanging on the opposite wall, and... an old-school fireplace. I'd have to see where that let out, but nothing beyond the simple hearth surrounding it.

“Is that a flatscreen?” Algie asked in mild disbelief.

I blinked.

Oh, right... those are fairly rare in this world, still. Big ticket items -heh- even with some superscience stuff trickling down.

“Forget the TV, this place is already as big as my dorm and I'm trying not to be angry about it,” Addie huffed, shaking her head as we moved onwards.

Again, sparse furnishings or a complete absence thereof. A large doorway opened directly into a single large kitchen-dining room shared space, though the cooking area was more of a kitchenette than anything else.

“It comes fully stocked?!” Addie cried, opening a cabinet door in disbelief.

“Just canned goods, looks like,” Algie shrugged, opening more. “Nothing fresh, which... good, Arden can't burn the place down trying to cook.”

“It was one time, dammit!” I nearly shouted, throwing my hands up. Seriously, it wasn't even my fault! I'd just forgotten that I didn't have the reach and strength of an adult anymore. Thankfully, there hadn't been any grease involved and the fire had actually been confined to the stovetop, but...

Well, family is about never letting you forget when you fuck up.

I sighed, turning away from Adelaide's growing disbelief and frustration to look into the large hallway, which... yeah, everything was big, here. I wondered if that was because I hated small doorways and hallways. Legacy of moving too much furniture, once upon a time.

Short hallway too. “Let's see... laundry room, compact washer-dryer-”

“You get your own laundry unit?!” Addie cried, actual outrage in her voice from the kitchen.

“YOU LIVE IN A DORM!” I shouted back. “Why didn't you just rent an apartment with a friend?!”

“They require freshmen who live outside a certain distance from the college to spend the first year in the dorms!” Addie yelled back.

I sighed, palming my face. Right, that was a thing.

You know what? I'm going to pass on college this time around, fuck it. I've got better things to do.

It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, admittedly, but one that I was going going to stick to. After having so many medical degrees in my head and becoming a master artist, I didn't see the point in the traditional college experience.

Thankfully, though, that seemed to be the end of the revelations, as far as grinding Addie's gears went. There were two bedrooms (both with beds and closets bigger than her dorm's), and a (private) bathroom. Finally, there was a basement-ish room with an emergency exit. Also, the basement-

-did it really count as a 'basement' if the entire 'house' was inside of a mountain?-

-was basically an empty concrete block that looked like a serial killer's lair, which was... for storage? Or something? Whatever, it was more space.

All in all, the hideout was just that – a hideout. I don't think I could see myself living here fulltime, but it was a good place to duck and cover if things ever got too hot and I needed to, well... hide out.

“You know, you're supposed to be the oldest, right?” Algernon asked with a sigh as he dropped onto the couch. “That means... what was the word, maturity?”

“I'll be mature when my little brother doesn't have an entire fucking house to himself at thirteen,” she muttered back.

I sighed, shaking my head as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my small collection of tickets and peeled off one of them and pushed it at her. “If I give you this, will you stop bitching?”

Adelaide instantly sobered up, “Arden, you don't have to-”

I fanned out the three tickets from the stack. “Look, I've got two bronze for myself and a gold. One for a full week of sticking to Algie's exercise schedule, one for pulling his head out of his ass-”

“I will totally put you back in the headlock, squirt,” my brother groused.

“-and the gold is from the interview,” I continued, ignoring Algie. “I wanted to come out here and set the hideout up so that I could go ahead and rip through these before we leave for Gotham tomorrow.”

“Which, by the way, is also bullshit. I cannot believe you are on party-invite terms with Bruce Wayne,” Addie sighed, looking at the ticket with a certain amount of longing. “You sure, Adren? I won't deny that getting a power or something is neat – it's awesome never having to worry about college parking passes or whatever, but... they are your tickets.”

I shook my head, then paused and sighed. “So... if I really wanted more... there's always this.”

Algie and Addie blinked as I set the tickets down and pulled out a blood red one.

“What's that... curse?” Algernon read off, his eyes widening. “You... what's the point of pulling a curse?”

I clicked my tongue at the ticket. “This showed up last night. A little explosion of confetti and an announcement that I was being rewarded for filling up my three ability slots... which, yeah, turns out I only get three of them for the big showy powers. I can have as many skills, items, familiars, or traits active as I want at the same time, but I have to swap out abilities.”

“Huh... so, wait... how's that a reward?” Addie asked, shaking her head.

I blinked, then slapped my forehead. “Right, sorry... I tear a curse ticket and get a curse, then I get a commensurately-powerful normal ticket to do a standard pull. Weak curse means a weak ticket, powerful curse means a powerful ticket.”

There was a moment of silence as my siblings digested the revelation.

“That... seems like a horrible idea, just saying,” Algie stated, looking between Addie and myself. “It's a horrible idea, right?”

“Absolutely terrible,” Addie nodded firmly, staring at me. “Which means you're not going to do it, right Ardie?”

I hummed, looking away and off to the side.

“Arden!” Adelaide barked, doing a fair impression of our mother.

“Only once! Just to test it out!” I replied desperately, getting unimpressed stares in response. “I have poor impulse control! You know that!”

Addie groaned, her head flopping back on the couch as my leg began to bounce with nervous energy.

I'm not a gambling addict! I can stop anytime I want! I just don't want to stop! HA!

Yeah, right. I was developing a problem.

Precisely what the gacha intended, most likely.

But, then again, the looming threat of my family's trip to Gotham was weighing heavily on my mind. I mean, there was the possibility that nothing could happen and we'd just attend a mildly interesting party, I'd pitch some of my ideas to Bruce, and we'd be flown back home on his private jet just in time for the camping trip with the scouts on the following Tuesday. Granted, Astrid was a little bummed that we couldn't hang out/date on Saturday, but we'd see each other during the trip.

If I survived.

Despite having willingly agreed to step food in Gotham, I wasn't a complete moron. I knew the odds were stacked against me having an uneventful trip. Even if I didn't have any personal archnemeses at the moment, a number of Batman's Rogues had already popped up. Joker, Ivy, Penguin, and Scarecrow just to name a few. Even then, there was the whole gang war thing that Batman had instigated by taking down key members of the various crime families which ruled the city from the shadows.

Big party? Lots of rich people? Crazy city full of costumed supervillains and organized crime?

No, something was probably going to happen. Best case scenario was that we were on the periphery of it, well outside the splash zone, and walked away just vaguely traumatized.

But explaining that to my older siblings was... challenging, considering that I could cite nothing more than a 'gut feeling' to source it.

“Okay, how about we put the cursed ticket away and just do the normal freaky superpower gambling for today?” Algie sighed.

“I second that motion,” Addie stated firmly.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, tucking away the blood red strip of paper. “Fiii~iine, but you have to take one pull, Addie.”

My sister opened her mouth to argue, then stopped and leaned back on the couch. “You're not going to let this go, are you squirt?”

“Look, Gotham's crime rates might have gone down since the Batman showed up,” I replied bluntly, “but they're still some of the highest in the nation. And, yes, I know we're going to be at Bruce Wayne's family estate, not the Narrows or a slum or whatever, but I'd still feel a lot better if Algie and I weren't the only people who had something to fall back on in case of an emergency.”

Adelaide sighed gustily and ran a hand through her hair. “Fine. But just this one more, okay? And I'd prefer something that made my life easier, like a medical degree or... fuck, super sleep or something. That'd be nice.”

“Well,” I tore her ticket, one I'd gotten for finally getting around to finishing the restoration on that Atari console I'd had sitting on my desk for weeks. I'd needed a break from plotting out my replacement heart design and had gotten tired of it sitting there half-assembled. Honestly, I hadn't thought I'd even get anything for it. “Here you go.”

Addie nearly fumbled the gacha ball in surprise, her eyes widening as she caught it. “Shit! Warn me, Arden... Jesus... okay, let's see...”

Her eyes widened. “Child of Art-”

My own eyes widened and I lunged forward, pressing my hand to her mouth and essentially tackling her into the couch. Ignoring Algie's squawk of protest as Addie and I tumbled onto the floor, I took a deep breath as I allowed Addie to pin me. Her face was flushed, her hands holding my biceps, and her eyes glimmering with surprise and anger as she stared down at me.

Ignore how hot your sister is, I've got a lot of practice at this...

“What the fuck, Arden?!” She asked, not getting up yet.

I blinked and shook my head. “Do not say a god or goddess' name. At all, ever. Not if you can help it. Especially now that you have their blessing. Drastically-increased chance they will hear you and come to investigate.”

Addie blinked rapidly, tearing her eyes away from my own as she leaned up, looking at the slip of now-crumpled slip of paper in her hand. “Oooooh... shit, yeah. That... that might not be the best idea. Fuck.”

“Wait, what... what's this about a god or goddess?” Algie asked, cautiously taking a step over to look at the paper in her hand. “Child of-”

“Shh!”

Algie startled, blinking at us. “What?”

Addie sighed, and rubbed at her face tiredly. “So, it's been a bit since I reviewed my mythology... but a lot of pagan deities are really, really jealous assholes as far as someone touching their stuff. I'm just taking a wild guess, but they probably don't know I have one of their blessings, since I got it from Arden's weird roulette power and not them.”

“Almost certainly,” I replied with a nod.

“But the bigger problem is that it's-” Addie grimaced, looked at the note again and shook her head. “The goddess of the hunt. She's notoriously picky about virgins, if I've got that right.”

“Eh...” I temporized, waggling a hand. “She only let virgins join her personal hunting groups, but was pretty cool with non-virgins otherwise. She is a fertility goddess, after all. She actually has a domain for, well... women who have been taken advantage of or assaulted, too.”

Addie blinked, looking down at me. “Okay, it's weird you know all that. And, come to think of it, it's weird that you stopped me from saying her name like that, too. You get one of these... blessings, squirt?”

“I got the best one, thank you very much,” I replied with a grin.

Then paused.

“But, uhh... are you going to keep sitting on me like this? Or let me up? Just wondering,” I asked, nodding down to where she still had me pinned to the floor, sitting on... well, my hips. More or less.

Adelaide blinked, looking down at where her weight was located.

Despite the way her cheeks reddened, she smirked slyly. “Uncomfortable?”

I felt my own face heat up, but refused to blink first. “Getting there.”

Addie snorted and rolled her eyes, but rose up off of me with a grunt of effort. “Fine, fine... get up. So, let's see... before I got tackled to the ground... 'goddess of the hunt, proficiency and talent with ranged weapons greatly increased'... okay, that's nice. I don't think I'll use 'tracking and wayfinding,' even if they're apparently supernatural now. Damn, I guess I can track 'prey' across the entire country and... well, I do like hiking.”

She said the last as if anyone in Thomasville didn't like hiking out of sheer necessity. Summer basically meant hiking was the one big free activity anyone could do. As much as Sebas bitched every time we did it, he and I usually found ourselves wandering a wilderness trail or six every year out of sheer boredom.

“You know what, I'll call this a win,” Addie shrugged. “So, alright... you turn to do something stupid, Arden.”

“Woo...” I replied unenthusiastically, settling back into the dining table chair I'd pulled into the front room and picking back up the small stack of tickets I'd let fall to the floor. I looked at the tickets and decided to go with one of the bronze first, for a change. “Now, let's see...”

Tear.

Gacha Rattle.

...and capsule!

“Okay, for... helping Algernon with his... difficult moral dilemma-” I looked at my older brother, who'd been flexing his arm menacingly as if he were putting something head-shaped underneath his arm. I took the hint and cracked the plastic orb, shattering it into dust. Immediately, a hand-sized screwdriver dropped into my lap... one that had a faint aura of magic about it. “Huh, an All-Purpose Tool. 'A screwdriver that shapes itself into any mundane tool, such as hammers, knives, chisels, etc...'”

I blinked, cocking my head. This... sounded familiar...

Jerking, I picked it up and unfolded the screwdriver into a crowbar, then twisted it into a wrench, switched it out for a knife... “Oh my god! This is a Traveler's Anytool! Holy shit, I loved these things!”

“A.. what?” Algie asked, mystified as I played with one of my new favorite things in the world.

“A traveler's anytool,” I replied giddily. “They're a low-cost magic item in a Dungeon & Dragon's setting that you can buy and it counts for having the basic tools to perform any mundane skill check. These things are awesome!”

“I thought Mom didn't want you playing that game,” Algie stated, frowning.

I froze, my eyes going to Addie for help.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Well obviously, Arden picked that up from a friend who plays the game, he wouldn't know anything about it himself, right Arden?”

“Exactly right!” I chirped, my grin stilted and plastic.

Algie gave me a level frown and shook his head. “Okay, you've got a magic screwdriver. I guess that's neat. We do need to get back home sometime tonight, though...”

I nodded and, after hesitating a moment, I imagined the anytool taking the form of a money clip, attaching it to my belt. It wasn't quite as good as my music player, but it was still an awesome tool that I wanted near me at all times.

“Alright, let's see...” I went through the same song and dance with the next ticket, humming thoughtfully as the gacha orb materialized in my hand. “Stable exercise for a week gets me... Free Flier. 'You are a master of flight, you are almost more comfortable flying than walking.'”

“Okay, now that sounds useful,” Algie grinned.

I nodded slowly, trying and failing to find any difference in my mindset. It wasn't a skill, though, but a trait. Which I guess meant it was only something you noticed while using it. The... ass tattoo I'd gotten was similar in function, only really 'active' when I was trying to develop magical or mundane skills.

“I'll have to try it out when we leave,” I muttered, putting the piece of paper in the stack next to me. Once I got home, they'd all go in the hidden binder I was jealously hoarding my Magic: The Gathering cards in.

I was pretty sure Mom knew about those, actually.

But as long as I wasn't actually playing the game or 'wasting money' on more of them, she seemed to be ignoring my little collection.

Which will show her in twenty years when I get that stack of Black Lotuses graded and auctioned off!

I shook myself, not the time.

“Okay, last ticket,” I sighed, pulling out the gold one and tearing it. Once the orb dropped into my hand, I cracked it and felt...

Something was over me.

I paused, my brows furrowing.

“What's wrong?” Addie asked, leaning forward to look me over.

“Just... kind of reminded me of when I got the blessing I pulled,” I replied, shaking my head again and holding up the paper note. “'Draw of Fate. Your fate is strong, things are not moderate for you, destiny curves in your direction like a main protagonist...”

I stared at the slip of paper in blank disbelief.

“You have plenty of luck, bad and good.”

“That... sounds interesting?” Algernon asked, though the look Addie was giving me seemed more pitying.

I stared into the middle distance for a long moment.

“You okay, squirt?” Adelaide asked tentatively.

“Any chance you two could tell Mom and Dad that I ran away to join the circus? I kind of want to hide out in the basement of this place and just... not leave, ever again,” I replied bluntly, my voice and expression deadpan.

I may have to rethink my policy on invoking The Presence, because I'm going to need some kind of help...

I was going to Gotham City, and if that wasn't enough, I explicitly had a protagonist's luck.

Fuck.

Just... Fuck.

The curse ticket in my pocket was heavier than it should have been... or, at least, it felt like it.

~~~

Here's the next Butler Boy!

Tying up a few loose ends before the Gotham Trip happens.

This one is mostly getting Addie back into the mix and setting up the hideout for later use. Arden also cracks a few tickets and has another few pulls.

Also, I'm kind of glad I named them the Villin family now.

Their luck is just criminal!

...yeah, I'll see myself out now.

Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, next week will be another Mind Games and a chapter of the Marvel side of Industrious, I think. Have a great weekend!

PS: If you want the full text for all of the gacha pulls, the public gacha record is bookmarked on the collection.