The New Ron - Chapter 35

“Alright, Tara-breathe! You can do this. It's no big deal, just a little stolen blimp!”

Kim and I exchanged amused glances as our mutual girlfriend muttered reassurances to herself under her breath. Giving each other minute shrugs, Kim stretched slightly in a faux-casual way. “So... Ron, as our resident Pop-Pop Porter expert, what are we looking at?”

“Giant Shrimp,” I stated confidently.

“Shrimp! Yum!” Rufus echoed energetically, popping his head out from my pocket.

...should naked mole rats eat shrimp? Eh, I think they eat bugs and stuff and he hasn't croaked yet, so it's probably fine.

“Giant...” KP started in disbelief.

“...Shrimp?” Tara finished, blinking away her dazed muttering.

I shrugged. “It's one of the man's premium products. These deep-fried shrimp things that come frozen and you heat up. So, yeah. We're looking for a giant shrimp balloon.”

“Makes as much sense as anything else, I guess,” Kim sighed, shaking her head before visibly steeling herself. “Okay, so... the blimp was stolen from upstate New York. Looks like the guards were locked in one of the supply closets, unharmed, and some basic jamming gear set up. So no one was tracking it as it flew away.”

“You really think someone is just going to fly it straight to New York City?” Tara asked, frowning. “I mean... if they wanted to get away with it, wouldn't they fly it north or west? Or even just straight east over the ocean? Flying it over a major city like New York is just asking for trouble, isn't it?”

Kim and I exchanged another glance, one that even Rufus got in on this time.

“Hey, hey!” Tara squawked, waving her hands. “None of that weird, silent, unspoken communication stuff! At least, not when I'm not in on it and right in front of you!”

Kim giggled, her face going red as I chuckled in embarrassment. “Sorry, babe. You're just giving me and Kim some flashbacks to when we just started out.”

Tara's big blue eyes blinked, looking between us. “Really?”

“Totes,” Kim nodded, waving away her concerns. “I can't tell you how many times Ron and I complained about villains doing the absolute stupidest thing possible. You have no idea.”

I snorted, nodding along. “Yeah, it took a while for us to figure it out, but eventually it all started to make sense.”

“Make sense how?” Tara asked obligingly.

“It's almost never about whatever they're stealing,” Kim explained confidently. “The advanced computer chip or invisibility ray or, in this case, the shrimp blimp. That's not the point of the heist.”

“Then what is the point?” Tara pressed, frowning.

“Whatever grudge they've got going, the reason they woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, or an unsettled childhood grudge that makes them want to take over the world,” I stated with a sigh, noting the new girl's apparent disbelief. “It's all about the ego with these people, T. Yeah, a lot of them could actually accomplish their goals if they played it smart and committed their crimes when no one was looking, but they want to be seen.”

“Ron's right,” Kim grimaced. “It's all about the ego-trip. Even if they could make millions taking their inventions private, all they want to do is prove that they're better than... whoever they're mad at this week.”

Tara huffed a laugh. “Really? It's that... petty?”

Kim sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Believe me, it's pretty disappointing when you get down to it. Ron and I have been having this argument for years at this point, but when Drakken, Dr. Drakken, kidnapped my dad because him and his friends laughed at him during college? Yeah, that was kind of the last straw.”

“Wow,” Tara stated, surprised, her eyes wide and blinking.

“That's not to say there aren't exceptions,” I noted, pulling up my kimmunicator to track our progress, watching as the colored dot representing Wade's hypersonic drone made its way towards the Big Apple at a blistering pace. “Dr. Dementor, for instance. He's a real pro. Just... never tell Drakken that, it's a sore spot.”

“Dementor?” Tara asked, frowning thoughtfully. “I don't hear you talk about him much. What's he do?”

“Not much,” Kim replied, stretching as best she could in the confined compartment. “Dementor mostly keeps to himself outside of major villain conventions and big theft jobs, which is why he's pretty dangerous when he makes a move. He's really goal-oriented.”

“Ah, well... I guess it's good we don't have to worry about him all that much, then?” Tara asked hopefully.

“Yeah, mostly. I think he's on someone else's radar instead of us,” I stated thoughtfully. “There's the super-spies I heard about through Wade, Global Justice? They might be handling him. At any rate, we don't cross paths much.”

“Good, sooo... how long until we get to New York?” Tara asked, nervous excitement coming back into her face as she smiled. “I still can't believe you guys can just fly to New York like that.”

She snapped her fingers for emphasis.

Kim smiled. “It's not all that it's cracked up to be. For instance, let's talk about jet lag...”

An hour later, Tara looked suitably worn by the revelations of what frequent international travel could do to one's sleep schedule as we landed on top of a helipad and were greeted by-

“Kim Possible! I know you said I didn't need to be here, but I was working late and just wanted to give your hand a shake. If it hadn't been for you and your friend rescuing that shipment of computer chips, my business would have gone under! Feel free to use my helicopter landing any time you want!” The jolly New Yorker (actually from Fresno), stated as he reached out to shake Kim's hand, then mine, and finally Tara's. He was a tall man with slicked-back hair, a pair of expensive glasses, and a high-priced suit. Everything about him screamed try-hard to someone who'd actually met princes, tycoons, and other richest-of-the-rich types, but he was a nice enough guy.

“No problem Mr. Jorges, those pirates didn't know what hit them,” Kim laughed. “And you know Ron-”

“Hey!” My little buddy squeaked.

“-and Rufus,” Kim nodded towards the naked mole rat, who waved. “But this is Tara, she's new to the team. First mission, even.”

“Well, best of luck to you, Little Lady. Lord knows I couldn't do half of what Miss Possible here does.”

There were a few more handshakes and a few polite excuses before we managed to get away to pursue our actual objective. Still, the meeting obviously had an effect on Tara as she kept sneaking glances at us while we made our way towards where Wade had pinpointed sightings of a giant shrimp from forum chatter and a few news crews getting there early on the scene.

“You guys fought pirates!? How have I never heard about this?” Tara asked in a hushed squeal, finally unable to contain herself.

“Pfft, it was seriously no big,” KP replied with a dismissive wave of her hand, her cheeks nevertheless coloring at the exuberant praise. “Mr. Jorges made it sound like way more than it was.”

“And the reason you haven't heard of it is because, after we took the ship back some French anti-piracy patrol boats took umbrage with us doing their jobs for them.” I paused with a grimace. “Very much not my favorite mission. French military rations are very blegh.”

“They arrested you?” Tara asked, her jaw dropping.

Kim winced. “Officially? We were just detained. We'd actually helped out some French officials by that point and after a few hours everything was cleared up and we were let go, but it was kind of a mess.”

“Wow, I didn't know things like that happened to you guys,” Tara stated, following along after us as we walked.

“Most people don't,” I sighed, combing a hand through my hair. “I'm sure there's some government files in Washington, DC or whatever with all of this in it, but it's really embarrassing for governments to admit they got showed up by a couple of teenagers. So instead of making a fuss about it, they just thank us and let it fade away in the news cycle.”

Kim clicked her tongue. “Which reminds me. Before we take you out of the country, we need to go over the list of countries it's okay to get, er-detained in.”

“There's a list?” Tara asked, her eyes widening again.

“There is a very detailed list,” I nodded, agreeing. “Believe me, you don't want to get 'detained' in a country like Saudi Arabia or one of the African dictatorships. That's an invitation for something awful to happen. So, yeah, we have rules for which countries we cooperate with and which ones we kind of...”

I waved my hand vaguely.

“Judiciously decide how to interact with,” Kim stated, clearing her throat and looking away as Tara turned to stare at her. “It, ah... sounds better than 'sneak into and out of.'”

Tara giggled. “Okay, it sounds like you two have a lot of stories to tell. Spill!”

Kim and I exchanged a look.

“When you're older,” my partner stated with a teasing smile as she crossed her arms.

“Ugh, you suck so much,” Tara replied with another laugh, batting at KP playfully, who just grinned back.

“Ah, ladies, not to interrupt, but shrimp-ahoy,” I stated, pointed towards the inflatable vehicle as it maneuvered its way over a series of mid-rises.

“Right, mission time. Let's see...” Kim announced, her expression sobering as she cupped her chin and frowned.

“What!?”

I groaned.

“What!?”

Kim's brows furrowed. “I know that voice.”

“What!?”

“It's Adrena Lynn!” Tara gasped.

“WILL SHE DO NEXT!?” The crowd around us roared, making all three of us flinch at the sudden volume.

“Great,” Kim muttered, the venom in her exclamation only barely audible over the applause around us.

“Tonight!” Adrena Lynn cried from her position at the door of the blimp. “I'll attempt the ultimate in EXTREME ACTION! I will bungee jump from this blimp-”

“Ooooh,” the crowd called back, eating out of her hand.

“-Blindfolded!” She finished, exclaiming. “FREAKY!”

With that, she jumped.

Almost immediately, things went wrong as the cable around her legs snapped tight briefly before coming apart and leaving the stunt-woman in complete free-fall.

“I got it,” Kim snapped, slapping the release on the jetpack-backpack and flying into the air even as I pulled Tara away from the exhaust stream.

“Ohmygod!” Tara cried, watching as Kim caught the falling body with a gasp. “Wooo! Go Kim!”

The resolution to the whole mess happened just as quickly as it had begun, with Kim landing on a nearby building, arms laden with what was visibly a dummy while the stunt-woman emerged from where the fake duplicate of her had been planned to fall. Suspiciously accurate cameras immediately focused on her form as she waved and called out to the audience.

“Wade, you getting this?” I asked, holding up my kimmunicator.

“Unfortunately. So are several major networks,” the preteen genius sighed, taking a sip of his drink. “I'm more worried about the blimp.”

I groaned and slapped my forehead. “Don't tell me.”

“Looks like Ms. Doesn't Do Her Own Stunts didn't think to have someone else in the blimp when she jumped out,” Wade confirmed. “It's on autopilot and, unlike my remote control systems, doesn't have the kind of sophisticated programming required to dodge obstacles. Like buildings.”

“Ugh,” I grunted in disgust. “Any chance you can hack it?”

“Someone shut down all of the signal ports manually,” he replied with a grimace. “Sorry, looks like it's a job for you guys.”

“Tell Kim I'll get it,” I sighed, hitting my own jetpack-backpack release and looking to Tara. “Hey, wanna take a quick fly?”

The other blonde blinked, looking the contraption over. “I-is it safe?”

As safe as all the other stuff we do? Yeah, sure.

“Kim and I actually practice carrying people, specifically so we can do stuff like catching falling people midair,” I jerked my head towards her. “So, wanna?”

 Tara licked her lips, frowning at me before nodding to herself once. After a little maneuvering, she managed to settle herself in my arms as a bridal carry. “Okay, just be-aaaaaaahhhh!”

 The trip up was a little rough, at least with Tara jerking and fighting me during the ascent. Still, I'd dealt with worse before. Or, at least, I remembered dealing with worse as I aimed the jetpack directly at the door Adrena Lynn had thoughtfully left open. Waiting until the last second, I killed the jetpack and let us coast on pure momentum straight into the waiting vehicle, wrapping my arms around Tara and rolling us to a stop in the middle of the space.

“Whoa.”

Looking down, I chuckled at where Tara was staring breathlessly up at nothing, her expression stunned. “Thank you for flying Stoppable Airlines today. If you'll kiss your handsome attendant, he'll help you up and show you how to safely land an arthropod-shaped blimp.”

Tara blinked, then giggled and planted a short kiss on my lips as I leveraged the both of us up. That done and a quick dusting off of our clothing, I pulled the kimmunicator back out. “Okay, so we'll show you what to do if you can't just turn things over to Wade, but unless your signal gets cut, the safest bet is to just let him handle things. That way you can stay alert and on the lookout for anything else that might go wrong.”

One quick call to KP to let her know everything was fine and the mission seemed like it was going to wrap up pretty nicely.

Well, at least until Kim got cornered by one of the reporters covering the stolen blimp.

~~~

Okay, here we go. This continues the short arc following the Adrena Lynn episode. She's a one-off villainess that I think I might use for something larger later.

Still, hope everyone enjoys this one and I'll be working on Winning Peace next.

Because, obviously, it won the poll with a pretty firm lead. Industrious, as usual, came in a strong second. So that's pretty much what to expect. I do want to at least get a new chapter of Where Your God Is out sometime this month, though. And Winning Peace will be winding down soon. Not this month, but possibly next. I still have to fully flesh out my plans for the end and see how long it will take to get there. We'll talk about what the replacement is going to be when we get closer to that.

Rock On, Stay Awesome, and Thank you for all the support!