I Hate Writing These Types of Posts:

It feels like I fail and am admitting defeat to an enemy—time.

TL;DR: I need about two weeks off. I'm feeling the stress of needing time off and the vice of getting further and further away from my goals.

FYI: Yes, I am coming back. I'm not stopping. I'm diverting my efforts over the next two weeks to get back on track!

I'm behind. A lot.

Val has finished editing ATM Vol. 2 and UE Vol. 4, and I still haven't found the time to find and develop artwork. I want to find a good artist and not just use AI. I need to get Veil of Chaos ready for RR release because...I need this to be a good launch.

The truth is, I'm struggling. To say that feels bad would be an understatement. I take pride in my work ethic and the amount I write. It's tough admitting I'm failing to deliver to expectations, expectations not necessarily that all of you have, though you have your expectations, but the expectations I have of myself.

...I just sit here staring at this message and feel a burning in my gut from what I'm writing.

Two weeks is a long time. I wanted it to be a week, but Val told me that I needed two weeks to get everything in order. I'm burning myself out, and I need to focus on recentering my life for a bit. Val's said that for...ever, a long time, I think. Let me check Discord real fast...

Oh, wow, this was back in 5/31/2021:

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Hmmm I'm impressed Scott. Very disappointed in your choice to stay awake to finish, but impressed. Hopefully you can learn to prioritise yourself some more going forwards, as good as it is to be consistent, you are only human, and sometimes we need that flexibility to give ourselves a break. Unfortunately, I am not willing to partake in assisting if you continue to push yourself too far, and will have to cancel may patronage, at least for a short time, if I feel that you aren't treating yourself with the respect you deserve. I know that might not mean much in the scheme of things, but I was close to cancelling it last night, and my wife suggested I give you a chance and a message first. She did point out that I would not stand idly by and let a friend I know in person do such a thing to themselves, and I'd be equally sad to see you do it too.

Sorry to be a pain, I know you do this out of good thoughts, and I don't want you to feel I am trying to force you or make any difficult decisions. I just want you to realise that Scott the person is worth far more to this world than Scott the writer, as I believe any person is more important just for being human than what they provide.

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Val's been on my butt for a long time, trying to get me to take more time off... It's hard, though, because I want to succeed and I want to give you all great chapters, characters, and stories.

I'm a literary fiction author. Full stop. That...used to be the gold standard. I am probably a titan in literary fiction, not even trying to gas myself up. I am very good at literary fiction style...but the general audience has moved onto AI-style slop.

I'm not trying to bash it! I was told in college and growing up: Show don't tell! Show don't tell!

Over and over again. That was beaten into me. I put my chapters into ChatGPT, tell it to analyze my work without pumping me up and being as critical as possible, and it says I easily meet the best of literary fiction. But that isn't where the audience is generally at today.

So, what do I do? I trick them!

That's the only shot I've got T_T

I've got to lead them in with a hook, line, and then sink them into buying in!

I can't dumb down my writing. It's impossible for me. Literally, I can't do it. I've tried to write pieces in the modern 6th to 8th grade level general format. I'm smashing my head against the keyboard!

You've all stood by me for so long... Thank you, even though my writing style is dying. I'm trying to adapt. I'm trying to find a way to break into the market.

Your support has meant everything. o7

I hope you can bear with me during these two weeks, and continue to enjoy my stories when I come back, hopefully fresher and better than ever!