Clouded Soul Chapter 5

I feel bad writing this chapter and this will likely continue going forward. My works have all been pretty lighthearted until now, so this is the first time I've written characters who I'm explicitly intending to kill for the sake of another character's development. Chapters focused on making Jun's sister and father even more likeable so that it hurts the reader more when they're gone is difficult but I'm rising to the challenge and having fun.

Still, when I think about how I have several weeks left of writing exclusively depressing chapters... yeah. At least Ren will completely change the tone and I'll have a lot of fun with the training, but damn it, if cute tiger wife isn't far away right now.

---

Huifang took care of Jun for the rest of the day, though he didn't require much oversight. Whether it was the alchemical pills she gave him to dull his pain and calm his mind or the emotional stress from learning about his tragic situation, Jun passed out not long after their father arrived and the truth was revealed. She stayed with him at his bedside even as Ping returned to the store to take care of a few pressing matters he'd rushed away from.

Huifang had spent many hours in Jun's room with him since he was first confined to it. Some of the healers advised that talking to Jun as he slept would help, so that's exactly what she did. It pained her that he had to go and wake up while there wasn't a friendly face to greet him, and it pained her that she couldn't help more than she did, but at least Jun woke up at all.

The last month had been rough for Huifang. She had to pause her business lessons and could no longer help at Spiritual Solutions as she was devoted to Jun's care. The only time she'd seen any of her friends was when a few of them dropped by to wish her well after hearing about Jun, but otherwise, her days had consisted of taking care of her mother's garden, caring for Jun, and not much else.

To think she was ever nostalgic for the days she helped change Jun's diapers. That she once yearned for him to never grow old and to remain at her side forever as the cute and innocent little brother she loved so much filled Huifang with self-disgust. Now, she would've happily given her life to give Jun a chance to grow up as happy and healthy as any other child.

Huifang felt like fate had made a fool of her, giving her exactly what she wished for in the cruelest possible way. It was foolish for her to think of herself as responsible for what had happened, but... that man... all it took was a single word to make Huifang abandon her brother. If she had been stronger or had taken her Soul Refinement more seriously, perhaps Sasei Li never would have... no.

Huifang could've done nothing, not even if she'd dedicated her life to the path of Soul Refinement. That man was a monster, and she was lucky her harsh words didn't earn her a worse fate than Jun's. Truthfully, the memory of the Branch Clan Head played no small part in Huifang's desire to stay at home with her brother. Sasei Li terrified her, and knowing he was somewhere out in the city she called home dampened her enthusiasm to go out and be a part of it.

In time, Huifang would heal. She was the lucky one.

After Ping returned home for the night, he checked on Jun, asked Huifang if there'd been any updates he'd missed, and then took dinner alone in his study. Same as he'd done for the last few weeks, though at least he seemed relatively more upbeat now that Jun showed the first signs of recovery. Huifang always respected her father and gave him space when he was working on business, but she had to speak with him tonight. She waited an hour after his return before preparing his favorite herbal tea blend, a recipe she'd learned from her mother many years ago.

"Father?" She spoke from outside his door. "I've brought you tea, and I was hoping I might enjoy a few cups with you."

"Tea? Yes. Yes, that would be lovely, Huifang. Come in. Please."

Huifang opened the folding door and carried the tea tray into her father's study. It was a large, decadent room filled with many gaudy trinkets that Ping's acquaintances had gifted him over the years. Scattered correspondences were strewn everywhere, and his personal bookshelves were filled with musky, withered accounting scrolls and books on economic theory imported from the Azure Dominion.

Ping was at the center of the room, sitting on a comfortable cushion behind his desk. As ever, he was multitasking while wearing a tired yet frenzied expression. Ping bounced between taking notes, pecking at an abacus, counting jian, and cross-referencing a map of Little Haven.

Huifang sat down on the opposite end of the desk and began pouring hot tea for them both, serving her father gracefully and bowing her head out of respect as he took what he was offered. He inhaled the scent of it, a nostalgic smile spreading across his face.

"Mn. Wonderful. Huifang, I'll never forget the first time I drank your mother's tea..."

"Was it that good, Father?"

"No, I burnt my tongue!" Ping laughed, filling the room with the sound of his somber joy. "I didn't find out how much I liked the stuff until my taste buds recovered. It was the first time Chuanli invited me to her place to discuss business, and I was so nervous that I chugged the entire cup in one go."

Huifang smiled and actually meant it. Even when things were grim, her father had a way of making others happy through idle chatter and sheer wit that she couldn't help being envious of. "It's strange, Father. Sometimes, I consider myself lucky to barely take after you. Other times, I curse the Heavens."

"Is that so?" He grinned and stroked his chin. "Personally, I'm glad you don't. We'd never find a suitable marriage for you if you looked like me."

"I think my romantic life is the least of our concerns," Huifang remarked, bringing a sudden end to the moment of levity as Ping nodded in agreement.

"Too true, too true..."

After a prolonged and awkward silence, Huifang asked, "Has there been any further news from the Little Haven Trading Union?"

Ping's expression darkened. "I've already told you, my dear daughter. They've done all they can in response to this matter."

"It's not enough."

"Do you think I don't agree with you?" Ping gave a dark laugh, then sipped more of his tea. "I never doubted that the union's hands would be tied, yet what they've done on my behalf is already more than I expected. The Sasei clan has a branch on nearly half of the Southern Islands, and insulting one of the Dragon's limbs may well provoke the rest of it."

Huifang held her tongue and politely nodded. She understood the politics at play, but that didn't make it easier to swallow. Mature as she was, Huifang was only eighteen, and her emotions had been in constant flux since the tragedy occurred.

Ping let out a long sigh and slumped over his desk. "Still, to think all of Glimmering Bay's Soul Refinement merchants would stand in solidarity with our humble family and agree to charge all members of the Sasei Branch clan double the price for any of their purchases... it may not be the justice we desire, but it's not nothing."

"I'm sure Jun will be delighted to hear that the man who destroyed his life will now have to hoard his jian more carefully."

"Huifang..."

She regretted what she said as soon as the words left her mouth, and she bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Father. I find that I can't restrain myself whenever I dwell on what happened or the man responsible. I've tried alchemical pills and long meditation sessions to sort out my troubled emotions, but nothing quite douses the fire of my hatred."

"No one is asking you to suppress your hatred, child. A thousand painful deaths is too good for the likes of Sasei Li. If it were up to me, I would have him dragged down to the Shaded Lands so that the Yiansha might torment his soul for eternity... but we both know that will never come to pass. Rather than chasing after a retribution that we will never live to see, we should focus on what can be done for Jun."

"I wish I was as optimistic as you are, Father. At best, fixing Jun's Core is only slightly less likely than bringing Sasei Li to justice. At worst, you're deluding yourself and getting Jun's hopes up."

Ping stared at Huifang for several long moments before he rubbed his forehead and sulked in silence. She wasn't expecting such a reaction, which pained her. "Father?"

"I'm sorry, Huifang. Your mother was a realist, too. She hated me for the longest time, you know. Called me a fool on the daily and told me my head was in the clouds. I would always tell her she'd understand if only she could see the view from up here. She never laughed when I said it, but the wry smile she gave me instead was just... gods, I'm a mess..." Ping finished his tea and took a deep breath. He was fighting back tears, barely winning the battle. "You remind me of her too much at times. Far, far too much."

Huifang became misty-eyed, but she allowed her father the time to gather himself.

"My Chuanli would know what to do," Ping muttered. "She always did... but she's gone now, and I can no longer rely on her strength. I am Jun's father. I must take action into my own hands."

"I'm only saying that there may come a point where we have to accept Jun for who he has become and not dream of what he could've been. His condition is not a death sentence, and he can still have a life worth living so long as we are there for him."

"You know, daughter, you're right," Ping laughed darkly. "I'm sure Jun will make an excellent scholar now that he can't run away from his studies. Why, perhaps my boy will become so wise that his every word will one day be passed down through the ages just as the greatest philosophers of old?"

Huifang joined him in his laughter, as even though it came from a place of hurt, the mental image of her father's joke tickled her just the right way. "Father, please..."

Ping stroked his chin and smiled brightly. "I kid, I kid. I know what you speak is true, but I am not yet ready to give up on giving my son the future he dreamed of." He gestured to the work before him on his desk, the maps, the coins, the notes, all of it. "First, I will travel across Little Haven and speak with every Sect Leader, Clan Patriarch, and merchant I do business with."

"You're planning to go yourself?"

"Yes. I'll be asking a tremendous favor of these people, and friends or not, I feel that sending a message on my behalf simply won't cut it. I'll hire sufficient protection to see me on my way, of course, and I'll bring along a wide array of gifts to put all who I petition in a more charitable mood. Though 'little' might in its name, our humble island is vast enough, and it's filled with all manner of hermits and wise men who know more of the mystic arts than you or I could ever learn in a hundred lifetimes. Why, if I can't find someone who can fix my son, I'll-"

"What will you do, Father? Speaking honestly, I wish to know."

Ping didn't hesitate as he reached for a rolled-up parchment and pulled it open, revealing a map of the Southern Islands. He slid his hand across its surface, illustrating his point. "Then I shall sail beyond Little Haven and speak with my contacts scattered across the cobalt tides."

"And suppose that doesn't work, what next? Will you go so far as venturing to the Threefold Kingdom?" Huifang asked in jest, only to be met with a resolute stare. Her eyes widened in shock, knowing what she did of the family business and its relationship to the world beyond. "You can't possibly think you'll find anyone willing to help in the land of Sages and Demigods, Father. People like us... we're nothing to them. Even with all your connections, the only things you're ever able to buy from the kingdoms are failed alchemical products they wouldn't even deem fit to give to their children."

Ping dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand. "It hopefully won't come to that, but I'm willing to take my chances there if one day I must. Even failed elixirs from the mainland are priceless treasures to us South Islanders. Imagine how easily they might fix a damaged core!"

"Mother was right," Huifang sighed. "Your head really is in the clouds."

"Indeed it is, my daughter, indeed it is. You'd understand if you could only see the view from up here."

Huifang gave her father a smile that made his heart ache but then managed a laugh that never would have come from his Chuanli.

"When are you planning to depart?"

"As soon as I can finish my arrangements."

"Jun is going to miss you."

"He will thank me when the day comes that he can stand on his own two feet again and wrap his arms around me."

"I'm going to miss you."

"You're going to hate me, more like," Ping laughed and stroked his mustache. "Who do you think will be taking care of the shop?"