Another gift from Urban that I felt like sharing since I had another good writing day in a row. Hoping this means the chapter will wrap up sometime soon at this rate but it’s still a little early on since my definition of a good day isn’t back to what it used to be. Still, more progress than I was making for a while, and I’m happy about that.
Art by https://bsky.app/profile/thejieb.bsky.social
2025-06-25 09:19:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Another gift from Urban that’s been sitting around waiting for me to feel good enough to post it! Luckily, I do now. I had a good writing day and if this keeps up I might have better news to come. In the meantime, here’s something cute.
Art by https://vgen.co/JDrawsThings
2025-06-23 23:53:18 +0000 UTC View Post
A neat little set of art that my friend Urban got me! It took some work since the artist wasn’t used to some of the body types, but we got there in the end and I’m pretty happy with the result!
Nothing to say yet on the writing front, about to get started for the day and see if we get somewhere.
Thank you Urban, and art by https://x.com/ElLoser2
2025-06-20 20:47:17 +0000 UTC View Post
Thought I’d share this as it was shared with me. One of my patrons, Kyle Walker, met someone in a library who made him this after he showed her a picture of Mia. I unfortunately don’t have the artist’s socials or anything to credit them but he wanted me to share anyway, says the artist is named Rachel. As a girl known for her pin collection, I believe Mia would be proud.
New on the writing side of things, I’ve been on another slight upswing and have written a few pages this week! It’s not much, but it’s progress. Happy to have something mildly positive to report.
2025-06-13 06:51:30 +0000 UTC View Post
An amazing gift Urban got me, I can’t even begin to describe how good this one is! By far one of Stacy’s best pictures to date. Her face, the coloring, the pose and outfit, it’s just all so damn good! I should’ve posted it when I got it but bad mood made me put it off.
Minor good news is that since my last update I had a good day yesterday and actually finished nearly a whole page for the first time in a few weeks. I haven’t sat down to work yet today but I’m optimistic it’ll go the same.
art by https://bsky.app/profile/amaagumo.bsky.social
2025-06-03 19:05:50 +0000 UTC View PostBeen quiet for another few weeks and as it’s a new month I’m coming back to reiterate that I’m alive but work isn’t going great. I won’t retread old ground but yeah, same problem as usual, brain fog and can’t focus on writing. Still been trying to read excessively since that seems to be the only thing that helps and I’ve had a good couple of days with that at least- offset by the annoying fact that I got an ear infection yesterday and had to go in to get that treated. Bleh.
I’ll try and post some new art soon. I have some I just get demoralized about posting it when I don’t have good news to share.
2025-06-02 01:32:10 +0000 UTC View Post
This pic took a long time but I think we can all agree it was worth the wait! I had this random idea a while back regarding what everyone’s teams would be and this is what I came up with for Mia. I think everyone is pretty self explanatory aside from Zoroark, who’s there to reflect Mia’s interest in dark and edgy things. Similarly between the two artist Pokémon I chose Grafaiai over Smeargle because it fits her aesthetic better and I personally like it more. Then we have two dead-eyed, blank-faced cats, a Hispanic weed cat, and a walking, talking shroom. Something something subtext.
But yeah, I’m so happy with this one! I’m ordering Zoe tomorrow but it might be another few months until you guys see it. Either way, something to look forward to.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/akuma_irui/s/5fm6Ri4Mpa
2025-05-12 06:18:42 +0000 UTC View PostHey guys, it's time for me to touch base again since I haven't done so in a while now. There is a reason for that and it's not a great one- I haven't gotten much done at all since I last said anything. Part of it is my mental state and the rest is because that mental state was affecting the way I was writing the chapter itself. I felt like I fell victim to circular thinking and kept making things more and more unnecessarily convoluted just to fit more things from my original outline that don't necessarily fit the current direction.
As a result, I decided today to restart 92. I was only 1.5k words in but I spent several days just rewriting the same bits over and over again in vain. While it's too early to say if this is helping, I have managed to get several paragraphs done today after the restart, which is more than I was pulling off beforehand. I will let you guys know before too long if I get trapped again because I'm obviously not happy with my current pace.
As for my mental condition itself, I don't know what's going on with it. I thought I was seeing big progress last month but then this last stint hit me after finishing 91. What I do know is that I've been working really hard to improve things even a little bit. Rather than lying around feeling useless, I've gotten into the habit of using my treadmill once a day for 20 to 30 minutes (sending pics of my time each day to Milly for her to verify) and have been feeling a lot better from that. I don't know if it'll help in the specific way I need it to, but it's not like exercising will hurt my mental health in the long run.
Other than that, I've been forcing myself to read a lot more in the hopes that running all these words through my head will fire the right neurons to get me going again. It's helped, but again, no real results to show as of yet. I've even done some figure drawing sketches to practice getting into my old flow state.
When I sit down to write, the front of my brain feels hazy and trying to push words out from there feels like trying to grind meat out with a jammed meatgrinder. I know it sounds weird, but it's the best analogy I can come up with. Mood wise, I've been very stable, very peaceful, and the brain fog continues to be the only symptom I'm still suffering from the withdrawal. It's annoying. I would've gladly taken the constant depression and headaches if it meant I could still write at my peak, but it is what it is, and I just have to take hope from knowing that since everything else cleared up, this should, too.
Hopefully getting a fresh start on 92 will help me actually get something out in a week or two, because every second of this volume remains unreleased as another second I spend in a hell of my own making. Fucking sucks, man. If nothing else, I have some special art to post soon, so look forward to that.
Lastly, I've gotten a lot of new subscribers in the last few weeks. Thank you for any and all support. I won't be offended if you decide my current update pace is too slow for you to stick around long., I just want you to also know that I'm trying to get back to where I was and I appreciate your patience. Hopefully I'll have more positive things to say next time.
2025-05-11 23:25:18 +0000 UTC View Post
The next of these amazing arts is done! Really happy with it, the artist took my idea and really ran with it well. Running theme with them, and I’m excited to see how more of them turn out.
Writing has been slow still, not a ton of progress despite my best efforts. We’ll see how today goes. Even if it’s another bad day, that’s okay, since I’m going to go see The Book of Mormon broadway tour today at my local theater, and I’m very excited for it.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Horror_Pen_6551/s/C5RcLPHK5k
2025-05-02 20:23:06 +0000 UTC View Post
I love it when girls get all tied up, and it’s something we’ll surely see more of eventually! Mia is obviously down with this kind of thing, and I know for a fact a few of the other girls are, too.
Writing update, it’s been a slow week. Had a few bad days and some good ones, though I just finished a decent session right now which was why I felt up to posting this since I finally had decent news to share. If it keeps up I’m hoping next chapter should be sometime next week but that’s me being optimistic so don’t hold me to it just yet. Either way, I’m determined to get this done.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://elcracked656.carrd.co
2025-04-27 00:00:45 +0000 UTC View Post
This art was actually ordered a while back, but the artist’s schedule got busy and as you can imagine this was a very intensive piece to work on lmao. But damn if it wasn’t worth the wait. Rebecca is having the best day of her life here.
Going to do some writing soon, we’ll see how it goes. Hoping 92 gets done faster and doesn’t see as many delays.
Thank you Urban for the art!
Art by https://bsky.app/profile/tokoboo.bsky.social
2025-04-17 20:36:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Hands down this is one of my favorite pics of Mia ever, and I have a lot of those by now. This artist is one I really vibe and get along well with, so I plan on getting a loooot more from them. They brought my idea for this pic to life better than I imagined!
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Horror_Pen_6551/s/C5RcLPHK5k
2025-04-17 03:32:30 +0000 UTC View PostWell that took embarrassingly long. It kept getting expanded and rewritten past my expectations, and even now, I cut the chapter short since I’d already written like 600 more words that are now the start of 92. I figured I wasn’t going to reach a good stopping point anytime soon if I did and I wanted to get this out. I hope you all enjoy it, I think there’s a lot of fun stuff in this one along with the big focus on character development.
***
Inside, the pair were met with a dark room devoid of other people save for a man in his thirties sitting behind the front desk. It was illuminated only by blinking machines and a solitary neon light hanging behind the counter, and things were just bright enough to notice the man had a stained shirt. Oliver looked around the place and saw a dozen different arcade cabinets, three quarter exchangers, a crane game pitifully populated by a smattering of cheap plushies, and not much else. A far cry from Prize Planet, but not without its charms- least of which was a reprieve from his mental backing track.
Quarter's Up was tucked away, almost hidden from the rest of the mall, giving it a lonely vibe that resonated with Oliver. It made him think of an arcade plucked right out of some old 80s flick- a sanctuary offering troubled teens a place to get away from it all, if only for as long as they could stretch their coins.
Zoe frowned at all she saw. A few of the cabinets looked dusty, and the manager behind the counter was a stranger with a stained shirt. He looked at them and nodded, but she didn't respond.
Oliver placed his hand on Zoe's shoulder. "I think you might've been underselling this place. I like it here, it's kinda cozy."
"I used to think so, too," Zoe shrugged, then chugged her entire energy drink before belching dismissively and crushing the can against her hip. She tossed it at a recycling bin by the front door, landing a slamdunk. "But yeah, nah. It's not the same."
"It's still got Ms. Pac-Man."
"It does, indeed," she sighed. "Why don't you go grab us some quarters, Olive? I'll even throw you a bone and let you cover the cost."
"Wow, really? To think I'd be so lucky. I mean, sure, my finances will never recover from this, but if taking two amazing girls out on two separate arcade dates all in the same week isn't worth declaring bankruptcy, then I don't know what is."
"This isn't a-" Zoe started before changing her mind with a shake and another sigh. "Fuck's sake, Olive. You're the most incorrigible dude on the planet."
"Is that including your legion of simps?"
"Did I stutter?"
"Fucking ouch," Oliver hissed as he clutched his chest in jest.
"Never said it was a bad thing, ya fuckin' nerd," she managed to shoot him a subtle smirk, then looked away. "I'll meet you over at Ms. Pac-Man once you've cashed in your life's savings. Back row, last machine on the left. Don't wait up, I gotta BRB real quick."
"Huh? Oh, uh. Sure thing, Zoe."
"Chill. I won't be long, just gonna go and grab another drink. I didn't mean to chug the whole thing at once, but..."
"Yeah. No worries, I won't gonna stand in the way of whatever helps you through this."
"Thanks, dude," Zoe started shifting around on her feet, nerves dragging her down as she made up her mind. "I'm also gonna ask about the old man. Y'know. Just to clear things up."
"Are you sure that's what you want?" Oliver asked, trying hard to sound supportive without leading her on. He was personally all for it, but it wasn't his call to make.
"Nah, but I'm gonna do it anyway. It'll bug the shit out of me if I don't."
"Sounds good," he shot Zoe a soft smile and casually took her hand, giving it a quick, comforting squeeze before letting go. "Take as long as you need, okay? I promise there'll be plenty of quarters and an unkicked ass ready waiting upon your return."
[Zoe has gained +1 Affection! +1 Smooth Talker]
"There better be," Zoe smirked, then left for the last vending machine they'd passed.
Oliver went to grab some quarters and let out a heavy sigh. Coming here had changed the whole vibe of their not-a-date, and while he was doing his best to be there for Zoe and support her, the situation took a toll on him. He couldn't stop himself from worrying, so he rapidly shook his head back and forth, hoping it might dislodge some optimism from his mental cobwebs.
We shouldn't expect the worst just because the old owner's not here anymore. For all we know, he sold this place for some retirement money. Oliver mused while slotting his card into the machine. He punched in the amount he wanted, causing a flood of quarters to rattle out from within.
[Spent -$30]
There. That should last us long enough, and we can always get more if she wants to stay longer.
Oliver scooped up the huge pile of quarters into a large cup he got from a dispenser next to the machine, then wandered over yonder to the fabled Ms. Pac-Man cabinet of yore. To its right was something a little rarer- an honest-to-goodness Pac-Land cabinet. He forced himself not to look directly at it, as even the brief glance he'd gotten of its garish graphics made him fear for his eyes.
His world fell silent as he waited for Zoe, and not even the roaring orchestra of attention-demanding quarter-suckers could pierce through his thoughts. Everything was all jumbled up in his brain, Oliver jumping from one thought to the next as he kept thinking and thinking.
I hope she tells me more about him.
How much does Mia know about this place?
Did Zoe ever tell her about the owner?
I know Zoe's affection keeps going up, but am I really getting through to her?
Am I being too shameless?
He sighed, knowing he'd never truly be free of anxiety. It kind of embarrassed him over how little it took to flip his mood around. Oliver wasn't beating the sad puppy dog allegations anytime soon. Zoe had only been gone for a few minutes, and look where it left him.
He sucked in a huge gust of air and clenched his fist, reminding himself that things were different now. He'd changed. He could fight back- and he had to- because Zoe needed him to be strong. No. That's not right. He had to fight back because he wanted to be strong for Zoe. To move forward and become someone his girls could rely on- the thought itself pulled Oliver from his funk, readying himself for whatever news Zoe returned with.
Wait, did I just call Zoe- and Mia, for that matter- my... he slumped over the arcade cabinet and rubbed his forehead. Nope, nope. Stop right there, dumbass. You're the one who decided to become based and harem-pilled, Oliver. Remember? As long as you're not an asshole, then occasionally having egotistic, hyper-masculine thoughts now and again is no big deal. It's just part of the package, so suck it up, chucklenuts.
...On second thought, maybe I should rethink spending so much time with Zoe. My vocabulary may never recover.
Oliver briefly imagined what an accursed half-life he'd live should he ever start talking like his favorite foul-mouthed streamer. No doubt Tessa would be just thrilled by such a development. Maybe he'd even make it to assistant manager, assuming she overcame her inability to trust someone else to run her store.
He shook the silly thought from his head, then looked at the counter. Zoe was nowhere to be seen. He didn't have time to worry for her, however, as his phone started buzzing again.
[Mia: yall got any more of those date pics
getting the shakes over here mi amor
need my fucking fix]
Oliver smiled from ear to ear. If his mood hadn't already recovered, that would've done the trick a thousand times over. God, he loved this desperate, desperate girl.
[Oliver: Bad news my adorable little crackwhore, Zoe's grabbing a drink right now and I don't think she'll be in the mood for more pics when she gets back. We're at her favorite arcade, and things are kinda up in the air right now.
Mia: o shit
do you wanna call and explain??
Oliver: I've got it covered I think. Did Zoe ever tell you about this place?
Mia: ye the owner's like a nazi or something but she rly likes him]
Oliver stopped smiling. Both from what she'd said and the implication that Zoe told Mia more than Rebecca. His promise to help the tiny tactician still lingered in the back of his mind, even now.
[Oliver: Really hoping that was hyperbole, kitten.
Mia: lol ye sry idk i just know he was a super strict clean freak or w/e
Oliver: Okay, good. Had to be sure since between the rally and that dude I beat up, they keep cropping up.
Mia: mmm
dont be too harsh on the nazis mi amor
never woulda gotten stuck in that truck for so long together if it werent for that freak accident so
u and me owe them a lot if u rly think about it
Oliver: ...Are you high right now?
Mia: lol ollie
id buy a white hood and join the next rally myself b4 visiting abuelito w/o downing 1-2 wine coolers min]
The smile came back as Oliver shook his head. He supposed she did have a point, and he almost joked about it being a fun story to tell the kids one day before catching himself short of hitting the send button. He'd never deleted a prospective text message faster in all his life.
[Oliver: Fair enough lmao.
Anyway, we're kinda dealing with a Schrödinger's Germaphobe situation. The arcade's open, bthough the old dude's nowhere to be seen. Zoe's gonna ask the new manager what's up as soon as she's back but she's not looking very optimistic.
*though
Mia: fuck
thats uh ye not gr8
u offer to take her home?
Oliver: Of course, silly.]
[Mia has gained +1 Affection!]
[Mia: good boy
take it she insists on staying?
Oliver: Yeah.
Mia: well just try and keep her on the lvl ig
ur gud at that
Oliver: If you say so
Mia: i do indeed
Oliver: Either way, I'll try my best.
Everything good on your end?
was worried after last night
Mia: ye sry 4 not replying this morning
im ok
still a bit grumpy but w/e it'll pass
should prolly get back 2 socializing and shit tho
bleh
c u tonite?
Oliver: Not sure, Zoe was talking about dragging me to her bedroom later and I might be pretty wiped out after that...
Mia: fuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuuu
god that's fucking
hnnng]
[Mia has gained +1 Affection! +1 Smooth Talker]
Oliver could only shake his head and laugh. He really hoped she wasn't making a hentai face in front of her parents, and the sad thing was that he really couldn't put it past her.
[Oliver: Try not to have too much fun thinking about us, kitten.
I'll see you later lol
Mia: this isnt fair ollie
gonna get u back 4 this
Oliver: Bye, kitten.
Mia: hmph
take good care of her mi amor
bye]
Oliver's spirits couldn't have been any higher after his short conversation with his adorably grumpy girlfriend. It'd been such a nice shot in the arm that he hadn't even noticed they'd been texting for ten whole minutes. His eyes bulged upon discovery- mind-numbing bliss turning into panic as he stashed his phone away and whipped around to check on Zoe.
The arcade music was so loud he didn't hear her coming up behind him. He would've crashed face-first into the taller girl's chest if he hadn't skillfully applied Hyper Reflexes and Fancy Footwork the exact moment before impact.
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, dude!" Zoe jumped backward and nearly dropped her new drink.
"Shit- s-sorry, I-"
"What in the fuck was that shit, Olive?"
"...Me having good reflexes?"
"There's good reflexes, and then there's passing a fuckin' quick time even in real life! Fuck. You scared the shit out of me." Zoe took a deep breath as Oliver's guilt continued to grow. He wore it on his sleeve, and seeing it made her feel bad enough to throw him a bone. "Y'know I'm not gonna slap you for accidentally motorboating the girls, right? This ain't one of Mia's pervy animes."
"I'll keep that in mind," Oliver scratched the back of his head and weakly smiled. "But I was more worried about knocking you over than I was about any potential Lucky Pervert BS."
Zoe scanned him from top to bottom, raised a brow, and sipped her drink. "I'm flattered the guy weighing in at a twig-and-three-quarters thinks he's heavy enough to topple my fat ass. Or, y'know. I would be flattered if, much to Mia's unending jealousy, my layer of strategically-allocated blubber didn't make me the Thickest Bitch of the West."
"And here I thought the Wizard of Oz shit had run its course."
"Yeah, well. If the ruby slippers fit." Zoe smirked. "What're you gonna do, cry about it?"
"No, but I could always relay this conversation to Mia."
"It's a free country, bro. If you wanna get your precious pet pussycat shipped away to the forever pound for mauling me to death during a fit of jealous rage, that's your prerogative... but don't even try and pretend you wouldn't miss me."
"Mm, yeah. I suppose I would." Oliver gave her a pity laugh that sounded more genuine as he went along. It was hard to hold back when he felt so relieved. Zoe seemed the same as ever as far as he could tell, so it stood to reason her old friend was doing a-okay.
And thank God for that... he sighed, then asked, "So what took you so long?"
"The closest vending machine was out of anything I'd voluntarily allow past my lips, so I had to backtrack a little more than I'd expected. Then I talked to the guy."
"...Yeah?"
"Yeah, and I saw you were texting Mia after I got done with that, so, y'know. Figured I'd give you a sec."
"Huh? What the heck, Zoe. You should've said something! Now I feel bad for making you wait."
"Chill, dude. It's not a big deal. I was only waiting for like a minute, tops."
Despite lacking her phone, Zoe still knew she was lying out of her ass with that one. It was closer to three or four minutes, no thanks to that dumb face of his. She'd glitched out when she saw him smiling at his phone, and then stood there staring at him like a stupid fucking red-faced middle school student experiencing their first crush.
Zoe sped forward the second Oliver looked like he was done in a desperate bid not to get caught. Supposing the girls did wind up getting accidentally motorboated, it would've been her own damn fault. She'd nearly caused the collision out of sheer embarrassment, and Oliver remained none the wiser.
"Okay, but I was still worried about you. We both were."
"C'mon, dude. I didn't meet the bitch yesterday. Mia was just fishing for more cuck pics, wasn't she?"
Oliver smiled. They knew each other so well, and he couldn't help thinking it was cute. No wonder Mia's family thought they were a thing.
"Mia wanting to be cucked by you and Mia caring about you aren't mutually exclusive."
"No, of course not," Zoe scoffed. "Could you imagine? How weird it'd be if those things were mutually exclusive, I mean."
"God forbid," he tried to hold back a laugh, chuckling upon his failure. "So can I take the fact that you're standing around cracking jokes at my beloved girlfriend's expense to mean that everything's okay with the owner?"
"Huh?" Zoe blinked, then looked away as she slumped her shoulders. "Oh, nah. He's been dead for two years, apparently. The guy at the counter is his son."
Oliver stared at Zoe for a long time. Everything went silent while he struggled to comprehend the last couple minutes of conversation in light of this revelation. He stepped forward into her personal space once it finished churning, his heart racing with concern.
"Zoe, why the fuck didn't you lead with that?! You should've said so!"
"You didn't ask!" Zoe lit up like an active volcano while avoiding his gaze.
"Because you were supposed to tell me when you got back, you silly, stupid piss goblin!"
"I know, I know, but... ugh, you had this derpy grin while talking to Mia, okay?" Zoe huffed.
"...So?"
"So take a hint, dumbass! I didn't wanna shit all over your good mood."
Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. He supposed he should be thankful Zoe was trying to be thoughtful, but he really would've preferred to get the bad news out of the way.
"That's uncharacteristically sweet of you-"
"Fuck you, I'm sweet as hell."
"But..."
"But?"
The question slowed Oliver down, helping him realize he was acting a little hysterical. He didn't like how quickly he'd assumed nothing was wrong before he'd jumped straight back into flirting, but that just meant there was more he could improve on. For now, he had to calm down and better assess how the news affected Zoe.
Oliver closed his eyes, breathed in, and then compulsively reached for her hand- facing her with renewed determination to help however he could.
"But nothing. I'm sorry for overreacting, Zoe. You still should've told me sooner, but it's nice that you were trying to be considerate, and I really shouldn't have snapped like that. Whiplash. You know how it is."
Zoe started feeling stupid all over again over what felt like a random apology, not to mention the shift in his tone and the strange, fierce flavor of tenderness she found in his eyes. She pulled her hand away and rubbed it.
"Uh. Whatever, dude. It's no big deal." Zoe looked away. "None of this is, so don't feel like you need to worry about me or anything. I'm fine."
Oliver saw straight through her like a sheet of rice paper. He'd need to be careful here. Careful, but firm. The twins weren't talking out of their asses with that one. Experience confirmed that Zoe responded well to a stern voice and a refusal to back down, which Oliver begrudgingly added to their ongoing list of similarities.
At least Mia left me a good playbook, he sighed before getting down to business.
"Zoe, come on. I'm not stupid."
"Never said you were, Olive. You really gotta stop putting words in my mouth. That, and keep working on the whole imposter syndrome thing."
"Do you seriously want to just sweep this under the rug and play Ms. Pac-Man like nothing's wrong?"
Zoe frowned at his stubbornness, her eyes shifting further away before landing on a game that all but demanded her attention.
"Y'know? Now that you mention it, I'm actually in more of a Zombageddon: Kill or be Killed, Killed, Killed - The Final Chapter Part the 3rd mood." She said, her eyeballs eating up the comforting carnival of carnage displayed on the screen like candy. "I've suddenly got this unexplainable urge to, like, I don't know, violently slaughter the ever-living fuck out of an unending horde of zombos."
"Unexplainable, huh? Right. I-" Oliver froze up after her namedrop fully registered. He followed Zoe's gaze, thinking there was no way anyone would actually name their game something so stupid, only to find the machine in question a few feet away. Below the silly name was the logo of a famous Japanese game development company.
Ah. Okay. That explains a thing or two.
"Olive? You good, dude?"
"Yeah, sorry," he shook his head free of distracting nonsequiturs and zeroed in. "Anyways. You're sure this sudden, allegedly unexplainable craving for violence, gore, and gunplay has absolutely nothing to do with anything you might currently be trying to repress?"
"I'm... not trying to repress it... it's just that, I dunno. People die, dude. It's whatever."
Oliver's anxiety escalated alongside Zoe's dismissal, and he fought desperately to keep it in check. He didn't have to force the issue right now. He could still back off, give her some breathing room, and it'd all be okay. Good intentions wouldn't stop him from coming off as an asshole, but he really couldn't help himself.
Not with her.
"No, Zoe. It's not whatever."
Zoe nearly flinched from Oliver's firm tone and couldn't shake the fear that she'd disappointed him. She probably hadn't, but- no. No, she knew him better than that.
He obviously only wanted to help, but these last few days had been one thing after another. Zoe swore her life was turning into one of those awful high school soap opera animes that Mia marathoned whenever she got too sad or too drunk, and she couldn't help it if some stupid thoughts slipped through while she was winding down from the latest emotional gut punch.
She still wished she could've milked more flirting out of Oliver or crept on him from afar for a little while longer, though. Preferably both. The girl was desperate for a pick-me-up, and caffeine wasn't cutting it. At least she had the way Oliver was currently staring up at her, all cute and serious-like, which Zoe supposed would have to suffice.
She forced herself to open up another fraction of an inch using the meager courage inspired by his stubbornness.
"No, Olive. It's not. I know it's not whatever, but... c'mon, man, haven't you noticed a running theme here?" Zoe sucked in some air, hoping to dull the pain of throwing open the doors of her heart. It didn't help at all, but she kept going. She had to. "Running away from my problems is the only way I ever learned to deal with 'em. Used to work out great for me, too. Used to be that with enough time, they'd go away on their own, or..."
"Mia would take care of them for you?"
"...Yeah," Zoe winced. "And after a point, I just got so lost in my own fuckin' sauce that I took everything for granted. Took her for granted. Becca, too."
Oliver suddenly reached for her hand. She expected him to squeeze it, but instead, he pulled her a few steps away until she yanked it back, asking, "The fuck, dude?! I thought we were having a moment!"
"We still are."
"Then why the hell're you trying to drag me away like a fuckin' caveman?!"
"Because now the moment is about us going back and buying a spray bottle."
"Uh...? Are you for real right now?"
"I told you what would happen the next time your guilt complex went off the rails, didn't I?"
"Oh, fuck off, Olive!" Her confusion gave way to anger as she clenched her fists, stopped her foot at him, and made a pissy face. The meter ticked down.
[Zoe has lost -3 Affection!]
Oliver paid it no mind. His compulsions were in complete control, and they told him not to let up. He was going somewhere with this. He couldn't say where, exactly, but anywhere was better than here, and like a force-sensitive pickup artist- or an unmedicated schizophrenic- Oliver trusted the as-of-yet-still-metaphorical voices in his head to push him onwards and upwards.
"No, Zoe. I don't think I will. Not until you see the forest for the trees."
"Yeah, okay," Zoe scoffed. "Go off, then, Mr. Therapist."
"I won't lie and say Mia doesn't want you to show her more appreciation, but that's only a symptom of your real problem."
"Which is...?"
"That you're woefully, comically bad at expressing yourself. Combine that with how hard you find letting other people in, and it's no wonder you started drifting away from your friends once your legion of lonely gooners got big enough to stand in for them. And why wouldn't you? They're strangers, after all, and you'd rather they put up with your bullshit instead of the people you actually care about, right? I'm living proof of that. Or at least I was until you started caring about me."
Zoe stared at Oliver wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Her heart was sinking so fast and hard that it was on a collision course with China. Word after word, his assumptions kept hitting the mark to the point where it was really starting to scare her.
"Zoe? Are you okay? I didn't go too far, did I?"
"Uh. N-No, you're good, it's just that... I dunno, man. I guess I've just avoided looking at myself in the mirror for so damn long that it feels really fuckin' surreal to hear my flaws listed off like that."
"The good news is that you're a lot less far gone than everyone thought," Oliver smiled. "It only took you a few days to realize something needed to change, and no one had to push you very hard to get there. Now look at you. You're out here on a date with me-"
"It's... it's not a-"
"It's a fucking date, Zoe."
"It's..." Zoe shrank, blushed, and finally conceded with a guttural groan. "Okay, fine. I don't even care anymore. It's a date."
"Always has been," he smiled wider. "And you've already got one lined up for tomorrow, too, right?"
"I do?"
"You and Mia? Granted, it's more of a house date, but-"
"Oh, right. About that- y'know I didn't magically improve at expressing myself in the minute or so since your whole 'reason I suck' speech, right? You're assuming I won't somehow fuck it up, and even then, half the reason we're in this mess is 'cause Mia sucks at telling me off." Zoe looked away and frowned, her eyes narrowing in on Ms. Pac-Man right as she snapped up the power pellet and went to town on Blinky. "I mean, sure, she's gotten a little feistier, but... I don't know, man. Might've jumped the gun on this in a rush to prove myself."
"No one's saying this has to be done tomorrow."
"No one except for the guilt complex you keep nagging me about," Zoe huffed to Oliver's amusement. "I'm pretty sure that'll clear up some once I get this outta the way, so I'd rather just get it done with as soon as possible."
"Okay, fair. My offer to mediate still stands, though. If you think that would help?"
"Nah. I don't wanna hide behind you, Olive... or rather I do, but I feel like I really, really shouldn't. Not exactly the kinda message I wanna send, y'know? That, and I shouldn't be so afraid of doing this. She's my best friend. We've known each other our whole lives, for fuck's sake, but... you were right on the money about me, dude. I suck at this, and I don't know how to get better."
Oliver let out a relieved sigh. He'd been puffing out his chest to look more self-assured this whole time, and it felt good to let it go. The pressure might've gotten to him if he had to put up a front any longer, but it was hard to argue with the results. Oliver was ultimately glad he'd pushed Zoe so hard. Despite the bad news, they were moving forward again, and now all she needed was one last nudge.
"Practice, obviously. You suck so bad at it because you never do it, so, let's do it."
"Optimistic phrasing you got there, my guy."
"Yeah, yeah. Stop deflecting long enough to hear me out, please." He gave her a second to respond, and after she folded her arms, gave him a pouty look, and nodded, he continued. "I'm not gonna make the same mistake of turning this into a challenge again, so instead, I'm thinking we'll make a little game out of hopping between arcade cabinets."
"A game, huh?" Zoe's ears perked at the mention of a game, exactly as predicted. It made him wonder what else her hypercompetitive ass might agree to if he phrased it as a game, but those were fantasies for some other day. "Go on, then. I'm listening."
"Of course you are."
"Fuck’s that supposed to mean, huh?"
"Nothing, nothing. So anyway, here’s that I’m thinking-"
Stat Changes
Oliver Chase | Strength 9 | Style 5 | Spark 1 | Smarts 4
Cash: $796 | LP: 145
Mia Rosas | Status: Girlfriend | 104/300 | ❤❤❤♡♡
Zoe Myers | Status: Friend(?) | 137/100 | ♡♡♡♡♡
2025-04-16 23:08:02 +0000 UTC View Post
‘What do you think, mi amor? Or should I say ‘master’, nyaa?’
I’ve wanted to get art of the girls in a 90s anime style for a really long time now and I’m happy to have finally found an artist to do so. This came out so good, I downright delighted. I’ve already got Zoe in the works but I could use some help securing the rest if anyone is interested in seeing more of this style. If not I’ll figure something out.
Good news on the writing front- I actually managed to get in two small night writing sessions and I’m on essentially the last paragraph of 91. Just need to finish the last bit and edit it and we’ll be good to go.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Maizuhoshi_/s/XW9MempTJ3
2025-04-16 10:02:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Another new and sexy piece of art with multiple variations this time! Personally very happy with it, I love seeing Mia act like the good girl we all know she is. Hoping to get more from this artist sometime!
I’m going to get to work for the day after I post this, and I’m aiming to get 91 out finally. It shouldn’t be hard but that’s also what I said these last three days, so… we’ll see if I don’t get trapped in another cycle of fiddling and rewriting.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Jerrytz97/s/m4X7ezhxMt
2025-04-15 20:11:17 +0000 UTC View Post
Latest of the new outfit series and the last of them for the moment since I’ve been going overboard on art and Milly is cutting the allowance slightly for non lewds. Only somewhat joking, but this outfit came out really, really good either way! Hopefully we can get more soon enough.
Sorry the chapter isn’t done yet. I keep getting tripped up on the ending despite working on it for two and a half hours today. I’m hoping for tomorrow.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/crochann/s/nh74MrErv1
2025-04-15 06:38:25 +0000 UTC View Post
This is very outside the realm of what Zoe would currently wear in the story, as she’s currently a tracksuit/tanktop kind of girl, but I think she’ll wear nicer clothes as more layers of her shell get cracked. I find the idea of her wanting to look nice for Oliver when they start leaving the house more and putting some of her wealth into trendy gamer girl aesthetic clothes to be super cute.
Got a nice outfit for Stacy picked out next!
Thank you for the art Milly ♥️
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/crochann/s/nh74MrErv1
2025-04-14 01:48:11 +0000 UTC View PostI’ve been at my desk for like three hours and I’m on literally the last bit but I can’t force it out. Barring anything major, it should be done sometime tomorrow. I will update accordingly, and I’ve got another nice piece of art to post later, too, so look forward to that.
2025-04-13 23:41:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Really cute new pinup from an artist I plan to get a lot more from! I love their style and I’m excited to see the rest of the girls from them.
Writing wise, I’m doing good. Very high chance of the next chapter coming out later today. Not too much more to say on it atm.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/syrup_on_pancakes/s/XYYOOWxnEV
2025-04-13 18:06:52 +0000 UTC View Post
One of the newer art pieces I’ve been waiting on, and I think it turned out pretty cute! I’d like to get more art of the girls not just in lewd scenarios but in normal clothes too so we have a wider variety of examples for the kinds of things they wear. I’ve been saving lots of outfits to use for this purpose, and I should have something for Zoe within the next week.
Haven’t started on work yet today but I’m optimistic I can get a good chunk done, if not finish the chapter!
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/crochann/s/nh74MrErv1
2025-04-11 19:25:45 +0000 UTC View PostI’m having a good week and I can confidently say it’ll only be another 2-3 days most likely before I can share the next one. It’d be sooner but I have plans to go to the theater again tomorrow and I don't know if I’ll finish before then. I very well might but I dont want to say definitively. Also, it’s almost done because it’s shorter than the last couple of chapters. Probably 3.5-4k at most as opposed to the usual 4.5-5k. It ended up being a bit of a transition from one phase of the date to the next before the deeper conversation with Zoe starts. Look forward to some fun Mia texting as well.
I’m just glad I’m getting some momentum back, feels really good.
2025-04-11 02:21:42 +0000 UTC View Post
Amazing new art that I’m really happy with! My mood is still improving lately so Ive been more social and am talking to new artists again. Got more pictures in the works after not feeling up to it for a while.
Potential spoiler details as I ramble a bit about my thoughts; For this piece in particular, I just love the overall vibe between them. I wish I was further along so I could write about their more developed relationship but I already feel it’s going to be surprisingly innocent compared to everyone else. Not to say Stacy won’t have any kinks but by and large I don’t see him as super dominant toward her. I’m not talking full-on DDLG but I feel like Stacy wants to be babied and treated very softly and romantically, and the fact that Oliver is able to provide that eventually will really show how far he’s come as a character. In return she’ll be a very calming and loving partner for him, softly and sweetly taking care of him between frenzied rounds with the others.
Speaking of writing, I had a very good day today and wrote 1500 words! Too early to say when to expect the chapter but that’s a damn good sign that I’m progressing as well as I thought.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://twitter.com/mackyneko265
2025-04-10 00:14:27 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey, so, I wrote up my thoughts on a film I saw last night. I was stuck while working on chapter 91 this afternoon and I figured I would try to loosen myself up by rambling on about it. I'm not sure if I'm going to make this a habit, but it did help to just talk through my observations, thoughts, and feelings. I mentioned that I'm trying to leave the house way more and the main way is that I'm making an effort to visit this nearby, not-for-profit, historical theater that shows primarily classic films.
I ended up having a lot to say, but rest assured I'm not going to transition into becoming a film reviewer. Just thought I would shake things up a little to get my juices flowing.
---
After Hours was an experience I found both delightful and anxiety-inducing.
The plot is very simple to boil down, though reading a summary doesn't convey the insanity of what actually happens. Our protagonist is Paul, who we know very little about other than that he's a very lonely man. He steals glances at an unseen woman at his job, and his apartment is 'modern' in the sense that it's comically barren, so much so that it practically looks like a stock photo.
He meets a girl after going to a café one night. The conversation ends with him pulling her number, and he gives her a call later after he gets home. She invites him over, and it's from this point onwards that everything that could possibly go wrong does. This is not a realistic film. This is Twin Peaks-esque dreamworld where characters speak to each other in painfully stilted dialogue and every word, location, and interaction is meant to make the viewer uncomfortable as possible.
It's a very tense experience, though I don't mean that as if the film is a thriller or anything. It's not, but it does have similar vibes. What I mean is that Paul is stranded in Soho without enough cash to get home after things don't pan out with his new lady friend, and he spends the rest of the film being whisked from one insane encounter to another while trying to find a way home. One of the things I admire most about the film is the way that everything just kept building and building on top of itself. Seemingly insignificant details in one scene become important in the next, and despite Paul hopping all over Soho, it's all connected.
I see myself as a comedy writer just as much as a romance one, and if you've read my writing you surely know that I'm quite fond of dry, uncomfortable humor. With how often I like throwing Oliver into strange places occupied by even stranger people, it shouldn't be a surprise that I liked this film so much. It just amazes me that they actually got enough takes of the actors keeping a straight face. The things these characters say are just so patently insane that I could scarcely believe what I was hearing. A certain Wizard of Oz monologue comes to mind. If you know, you know.
This is the second film I've seen by Martin Scorsese, the first being Taxi Driver which I saw about five days ago. I'm just writing this blog because After Hours is more fresh in my memory, and bring it up because I feel the two movies are strangely similar in subtle ways. I might still write my thoughts on Taxi Driver soon but suffice it to say that it was a masterpiece and I'm never going to forget it so long as I live.
Both films are very dreamlike, though my perception is colored by the fact that my theater showed a clip of some behind-the-scenes stuff before each movie that showed Scorsese explicitly saying that both films were meant to convey different types of dreams. Taxi Driver is a violent haze that skirts the line of waking life and unreality, while After Hours is an anxiety dream. Think being in high school but you're naked for some reason, and you've got the right idea. What I found interesting is that both films share the same sense of rising tension despite their wildly different subject matters.
Everything just keeps building and building on all that came before it while spiraling out of control. In Taxi Driver, that feeling takes the form of impending dread. As you're watching this deeply unwell man unravel, you already know that something bad will happen. Something terrible, and it just keeps getting worse. After Hours made me feel strangely similar, except you're laughing the entire way through it and feeling asbolutely terrible about the things it gets you to laugh at.
I also found that the two films cover the topic of male loneliness in, again, strangely similar ways. Travis and Paul share nothing in common save for a deep and pervasive loneliness. While it seems like what they crave is romantic affection, the way I personally saw both films was that they were driven by a need more for validation then actual romance, hence why Travis doesn't pursue Betsy at the end of the film when it's pretty clear he has another chance to do so. He doesn't need her anymore. The city loves him. He'll snap again, sure, but for now, he has everything he's ever wanted.
By comparison, Paul's initial desires are much more blatantly about lust. The whole thing starts because he makes a connection and wants to get laid, but as the night stretches on and his situation gets worse and worse, he starts to mentally unravel. No one listens to a word he says. No one takes him seriously. No one believes him. It stops being about lust and at certain point he's just trying to make a single connection with someone who will actually hear what he has to say and despite how it was all framed as a black comedy, I felt there was a deep and genuine sadness underneath it all.
It's also worth pointing out how emasculated he gets throughout the film. Just about every uncomfortable situation he finds himself in is because of a woman.
He tries so hard to get through to them that he even overlooks the one person who actually might've helped him- a male prostitute who mistakenly believed Paul to be an interested client. What happens when Paul actually talks to him and goes back to his place, though, is that the man listens to everything he has to say without a shred of judgment. It's just that Paul is so far gone that he leaves of his own accord before the prostitute can actually help him- and it's not even like the guy was being creepy or anything. He was well dressed, well put together, and while there was an amusing joke hinting he was a little let down that Paul wasn't interested, it was extremely understated.
The scene wasn't played for laughs, he only wanted to help, and unless I missed it we don't see the prostitute turning on Paul like the only other friendly face he met up to that point did. I think there's an argument to be made that some of Paul's troubles come from him being so superficial, but that would require me to dive way deeper than I already have.
I will say that he's ultimately saved by an older woman at a bar who he otherwise never would've approached, but even then she still winds up putting him in an emasculating scenario. He's literally objectified, turned into an actual statue and then carried away by burglars before the woman can break him out of it- assuming she intended to. She left the room and we saw a bunch of similar statues earlier in the scene, but I'm not sure if that was the intended implication so much as a conclusion you could draw for yourself.
Whatever the case, Paul is dumped right back at his workplace work and the film ends so abruptly that it's as if it never happened at all. Almost like waking up from a dream.
If it wasn't clear by now, I loved After Hours, and if you like surreal, dreamlike vibes along with dark, uncomfortably awkward humor, you will too. It's definitely it's not something everyone will appreciate. 'Surreal' is kind of underselling it. It's really, really out there at times, and it takes a little while to suck you into the world. Once it does, though, you'll never be able to hear the words 'Surrender, Dorothy!' the same way ever again.
Sorry for the slight delay. When I made the announcement the other day, there was an unscheduled break day right after I posted it. The good news is that I’ve been feeling good. Like, really, really, really good. Still some residual brain fog but my god it’s so much better than a month ago.
I’m hoping the next chapter doesn’t take too long. I don’t think it will, honestly. I’m really in the zone and excited about the current scene.
I think this chapter is one of the cutest in the series so far, and I hope you all enjoy it!
***
Lunch only took a few minutes after they dug in. Zoe ate her remaining three pretzels in the time it took Oliver to finish his own, and by now, he was fully convinced that she had a promising future ahead of her as a competitive eater if streaming ever fizzled out. Oliver only hoped it never came to that. He'd heard horror stories about the hot dog stank that those people emanated and wanted no part of it.
They got up together to dump off their trays, then made a quick stop to wash their hands in the nearest restrooms. She stressed that it was really important, for whatever reason, and he saw no reason to argue. Zoe finished first and bought herself a 'lite' energy drink from the conveniently placed vending machine while waiting for him. Her mask was back on now, too.
"What, was your soda not enough to get you through the day?" Oliver asked.
"Please. It barely got me through ten minutes, and this diet crap or whatever's not much better. The only reason I'm even bothering is because we both know what'll happen if I don't have something to sip on. I can stop now, though, if you want me to crash in public?"
"I'm good, thanks. Do what you gotta do. I'm just happy you're still pacing yourself."
"Yeah, well..." Zoe grumbled something shyly under her breath in response, glancing sideways as she did.
Oliver didn't need to make out her words to know they were dismissive, just as he didn't need it pointed out that Zoe's guard was down. Another chance for shamelessness. With all the grace afforded to him by Fancy Footwork Lv. 1, Oliver slid into her personal space and picked up right where they left off. He looped their arms together and walked back into the food court with his not-so-inconspicuous piece of arm candy at his side.
Zoe was thrown for a loop by how casually he sold it. She gave Oliver a funny look, then sighed it off as not worth the hassle. Easier to just hug his arm instead of starting a back-and-forth over every little thing, and it's not like she minded.
She'd suggested it for a reason, after all.
"So," Oliver spoke up after approaching the mall's map installation. Failing to make sense of its sprawling nature, he found it easier to ask, "Which way's the arcade?"
"We have to kinda zigzag around like this," Zoe extended her finger and mapped out a lightning bolt-shaped path, "Then swirl by taking a left at Buy Amore Jewelers, followed by another left after we've hit PawShop."
"Cool. That doesn't sound at all convoluted. On a totally unrelated note, I'm thinking maybe you should take point on the Yellow Brick Road for us, Tinman."
"Tinman? Seriously, dude? C'mon. I know I've got my fair share of problems, but I ain't fuckin' heartless."
"I know you aren't, it's just that you don't fit the Cowardly Lion, and Mia's already, um-"
"Already the Scarecrow?" Zoe raised a brow and smirked as Oliver got quiet. "Heh. Go on, dude. Keep talking. I wanna hear you justify calling your girlfriend brainless."
"Hey, I was just making a stupid joke, okay? Mia's not brainless..."
"But?"
"But..." Oliver looked askance. "It's more that she's got terminal hentai brain. You know as well as I do that the poor thing's full of holes."
Zoe immediately chuckled, his silly joke paying off with a slight uptick.
[Zoe has gained +1 Affection! +1 Smooth Talker]
"You know what? Fair's fair, I'll give you that one." Zoe said, tugging him away from the big map. "Anything else you wanna add, Dorothy, or can we drop the metaphor and get the fuck on with our da... y. Our day, not date. Fuck."
Oliver dismissed the Freudian slip as low-hanging fruit. He'd rather shoot for something that hit harder. He just wasn't sure if he actually should, what with Zoe's thin skin and all that.
Then again, I wouldn't be giving her the full Oliver Chase experience if I held myself back, would I? He thought, taking a deep breath. Welp, a promise is a promise.
"For the record, you're not the Tinman because you're heartless. You're the Tinman because you're stiff, awkward, and desperately need someone to help oil you up."
Zoe suddenly became as stiff as Oliver claimed she was, causing him to halt in place. A lump formed in his throat that refused to go down as he looked her over. He couldn't make out her exact expression because of the mask and sunglasses, but he was sure her jaw dropped.
"Wha... w-what the FUCK is that even supposed to mean?!" Zoe yelped just a little too loud, earning them the attention of a few curious shoppers in the vicinity.
"Shit- nothing, it was just a stupid joke!" Oliver quickly covered his ass. "I didn't mean 'oil you up' like as a sex thing-"
"Uh-huh, right, my ass you didn't! What the fuck else was it supposed to mean?"
"I shouldn't have to explain the concept of double entendres, you make them all the time!"
"Whatever," Zoe huffed, then jabbed her finger into his pec. "Why don't you just tell me the truth, Olive? You're just dying to put your hands on me again, aren't you? Fuck's sake. I bet your perverted ass already bought some fuckin' baby oil."
"Zoe, what the heck. You gave me a whole entire speech about trusting you to handle my teasing not even five minutes ago."
"Yeah, and I kicked it off by warning I'm inconsistent as fuck and that we'd figure things out as we go along!"
Oliver closed his eyes and rubbed them raw. He never would've imagined himself causing a public disturbance, yet here he was. Only he knew that Zoe wasn't actually mad. Everyone else saw a young couple having a spat, and that made him want to die of shame.
I know Zoe said she's feeling more sexually conscious, but all this over an innuendo? She's getting worse. I should probably ask her about it later today when we get back. In the meantime, I've gotta cool her off... and resist my urge ask to why she wants to hear how desperate I am to grope her again.
"Zoe, chill out for a second," Oliver spoke calmly, raising his palms. "Look around. You may notice you're currently doing a real shit job at keeping a low profile."
"Huh?" Zoe did as he said, taking stock of their surroundings.
Eyes, eyes, eyes, everywhere she looked. People stared, people glared, judged them, laughed, and she was pretty sure some stupid teen was filming them on her phone. Zoe gulped, her eyes lingering on the camera for a few seconds more than anything else. Knowing this moment was caught on film filled the girl with dread, among other, more confusing things.
Oliver watched the much taller girl shrink until she was about eye level with him. She retook his arm and shuffled forward as if trying to wash away the whole affair. He attempted not to laugh but failed pretty hard, chuckling and shaking his head at her as they walked away from the scene of the crime.
"Shut the fuck up, Olive..."
"Sorry. Can't help myself."
"Uh, yeah, I've fuckin' noticed."
"At least I'm not the one freaking out over the lamest sexual proposition of all time."
"So you admit it, then? You actually are propositioning me while hiding behind the 'it was just a joke' shit?"
"I really don't think I should answer that. Unless you're looking to test how quickly we can get kicked out?"
"I'll pass, thanks," Zoe groaned, then went quiet as her brain puttered along in total confusion.
She turtled up aside from an occasional side-eyed glance at the other mall goers, unable to believe she reacted the way she did. Oliver was right; she flipped out over a joke that was so lame she'd have made it herself a few days ago. It was embarrassing as hell- totally immature, even for her- and all Zoe wanted was to go and drown herself in that stupid fountain.
Anything to avoid grappling with everything else mixed in with her shame.
It would take them a few more minutes to walk all the way to the arcade, and Oliver wasn't about to let Zoe stew in her thoughts for too long. Not when she looked so defeated. Hoping to ground and comfort her, Oliver took her hand and gave it a firm squeeze. Zoe did it back a second later, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
He supposed that was as good a sign as any to kick off another round of impromptu therapy.
"Everything okay?" Oliver asked.
"I think so?"
"What, not sure?"
"Yeah. I don't know, man. Lot of ups and downs these last couple of days, and it's got me all jumbled up. Overwhelmed."
"Well, it's a good thing you've got the undisputed champ of feeling overwhelmed to help you through it, then, isn't it?"
Zoe rolled her eyes and gave him a cheap laugh. "Damn, son. Not only the champ but the undisputed champ? You're talking a big game."
"I know, but I can back it up. The only problem is that it'll probably sound really edgy."
"How edgy are we talking?"
"Slightly less so if you give me a second to think of a better way to phrase it?"
She scoffed at him, squeezing her arm around his bicep and playfully smirking. "What's the point when we both already know I'll pity your sorry ass no matter how you spin it?"
"The point was to try and reduce the amount of cringe I'm polluting the world with, but-"
"Y'know that ship's sailed so far off into the horizon that there's already a fuckin' colony on the other side, right?"
"Well, when you put it that way..." Oliver shrugged, determining Zoe had a point. "I'm saying I get where you're coming from since my brain's always scrambled from a constant combo of stress and anxiety. I'm honestly drawing a huge blank trying to think of a time I haven't felt at least somewhat overwhelmed. Off the top of my head, last Thursday morning's the only recent example I can come up with where I actually felt at peace."
"Really, dude?" Zoe looked at him after a brief pause, the aforementioned combo of stress and anxiety striking Oliver thanks to her questioning tone. "All that buildup, and that's what you hit me with? Not trying to downplay your struggle or whatever, but, like... is it really so easy to make a guy happy, or is Mia just that good with her hands?"
His scrambled brain caused Oliver to miss the implication for a good couple of seconds. His embarrassment tripled as soon as he got it, and he rushed to explain himself. "T-That wasn't what I was- I wasn't talking about that! I was talking about, like, waking up in the same bed as Mia! Not the-"
"Part where she jerked one out?"
"Yes," he sighed.
"Whatever you say, buddy. Whatever you say."
[Zoe has gained +1 Affection!]
Oliver internally grumbled at the slight bump. He'd take what he could get, of course, and it's not like Zoe finding him amusing was such a big deal or anything. He was only bothered by his inability to get his feelings across. He'd need to try harder.
"No, really. I'm being totally serious. Everything about that morning was so amazing that I don't even know where to begin. Opening my eyes to Mia's dark skin and messy hair lit up by the morning light, feeling the softness of her skin from the arm she draped around me, watching her gently stir as her chest rose and fell with every breath she-"
Zoe bristled the longer Oliver spoke. She tried letting him finish, really, she did, but her irritation proved more decisive than her decency. "Okay, okay. I get it, dude. I still love how cute you guys are, and it's great that you're so damn crazy for her, but you don't gotta go and fuckin' wax poetically on me. You're gonna make me hurl."
Her reaction stood out to Oliver, bringing to mind the other night when they retired to Mia's room and Zoe got huffy about being left alone. He found it just as cute as he did back then, if not more so since they'd only grown closer. This eased his worries, emboldened his assumptions, and reinforced his confidence enough to bring out more shamelessness.
"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" He teased.
"Dunno, do I detect a hint of wishful thinking?" Zoe parried.
"That you do," Oliver chuckled, countering the parry and pressing on. "In my defense, it's hard to help it when you get like this."
"...Dare I even ask what?"
"Supposing you did dare, 'adorable' would be your answer."
Zoe glanced at Oliver and scrunched her face in confusion. Getting complimented for her looks was nothing new, but she was fairly sure none of her fans had ever called her 'adorable' before. She kind of liked it. It was more personal, and not just because it came from someone in the real world.
Knowing he really felt that way about her made Zoe's chest tighten and her breath hitch for a split second before she forced herself to get over it. Oliver wasn't getting any points this time, smooth as he was. Zoe was more pissed at herself for being so easy than she was happy with him for fulfilling her need for attention in new and exciting ways.
"Whatever, nerd," she blew a dismissive raspberry, then nudged his rib. "We'll see how adorable you find me after I've completely and utterly trounced your ass at Ms. Pacman."
"You say that like I'm not looking forward to it," Oliver smirked. It'd take a lot more than being beaten at video games to change his mind about Zoe's cuteness. He was in far too deep by now, and any off-ramps he might've had were left in the dust long ago.
"That excited for another round of humiliation, huh? Geez. I'm starting to worry about you, Olive."
"It's appreciated, but unnecessary. It's not about winning or losing to me; it's about spending one-on-one time with you. We could go watch paint dry together, and I'd still find a way to have a good time."
"Right. On a totally unrelated note, my concern just spiked several times over."
"I'm a simple guy," he shrugged. "Simple things make me happy."
"Simple things like watching paint dry in the company of big-tittied gamer girls."
"That's pretty high up there, yeah. Maybe not quite as high as seeing the one place that actually tempted my reclusive friend out of her house for an afternoon, though."
Zoe had half a mind to admit all this was more for him than it was for her, but her other half beat up the traitorous one for daring to think such silly thoughts. There was no way she'd own up to the truth when it was so damn embarrassing.
"Just make sure to manage your expectations, my guy. It's just your average, run-of-the-mill arcade. Nothing special about it."
"It's special to you, though. Isn't it?"
"Something like that..." Zoe hesitated as their destination finally appeared off in the distance. Nostalgia pangs tore through her something fierce at the familiar sight, the unexpected sensation creeping up out of nowhere and loosening her lips. "I guess you could call it a safe space? It's where I'd always go whenever my headphones failed to block out the sweet fuckin' symphony of an unhappy marriage."
Oliver clammed up at the abrupt way Zoe broached the subject which long piqued his curiosity. He wasn't put off, stunned silent, or anything like that. He was only giving Zoe the space to continue if she had anything else to add.
Zoe failed to see it that way and scratched the back of her neck, feeling frazzled and down on herself. Vulnerability suited her like a sweater suited a dog. Adorable to look at, but you just know the poor thing hated every second of it.
"Fuck. My bad, dude. I didn't mean to randomly dump that shit on you, it just kinda slipped out. Sorry." Several seconds passed as her racing mind desperately sought a way to blow past the perceived awkwardness before she settled on old familiar- deflection. "Then again, maybe it's your fault? We have been spending a lotta time together, and you're always going around spilling your heart out left and right. You must be... um... y'know...?"
"Rubbing off on you?"
His phrasing and playful smirk reminded her of what it felt like to straddle his lap and grind against him, which was precisely why she'd stopped herself short. Zoe burned red, somehow slumping even further until she was nearly shorter than him. Her new perspective made her notice Oliver was blushing, too, despite having made the joke. This pleased her, and Zoe hoped in vain that it made him feel as awkward as it made her.
"Sorry, you know I had to go there," Oliver laughed. "Why're you freaking out about this, though? Is everything okay?"
"No, yeah, I just... I don't know, I try not to talk about this kinda shit. Every once in a while, I'll slip up on stream and say something stupid or edgy about my personal life, and whenever that happens, it feels like I just ripped massive ass in front of the whole world..."
"There had to have been a better way you could've phrased that."
[Zoe has lost -1 Affection!]
"The fuck do you take me for, some kinda poet? I play games and have fat fuckin' milkers, Olive." Zoe hissed. "I don't words good!"
Okay, I deserved that, Oliver gave himself a mental nutshot. I suppose I'll just be thankful she hasn't raised her voice again. To ensure that she kept it that way, he gave Zoe some space and took back his arm.
This was promptly vetoed. Zoe pulled him right back, squeezing the arm tight while glancing toward the middle distance. The arcade drew closer with every step.
"Get back here, dummy," Zoe sighed with all she had. "For the thousandth fuckin' time today, I'm sorry. I just... I got worried when you didn't say anything, okay? Like, really worried."
"Worried about what, exactly?"
"Oversharing, duh..."
"But I do that all the time," Oliver awkwardly laughed. "It's like my whole entire thing."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I should automatically assume you'd wanna be burdened with my bullshit..."
"She says whilst I dedicate a not-insignificant amount of my time towards straightening out her personal life."
"That's my fuckin' point. You're already doing a LOT for me. More than I can grapple with, and way more than I feel like I-"
"If the next word to come out of your mouth is 'deserve', I'm marching straight back to PawShop and picking up a spray bottle to squirt you with whenever your guilt complex starts acting up."
"I... I don't have a... w-what the fuck, dude? Save those kinda jokes for Mia- she's your pet, not me! Wait a sec, I know this is about. You just wanna see me in a wet T-shirt, don't you? Fuckin' perv. I'm onto your game!"
Oliver ignored the cheap misdirection as he observed Zoe. He saw so much of himself in her that Oliver wondered if Mia's preference for wild-haired, sharp-fanged anime boys was just an elaborate ruse to hide her actual type; hot messes. Not that the guy taking Zoe out on a pseudo-date had any room to talk.
"Keep telling yourself that," Oliver smiled, taking a chance on upping the casual intimacy. He wrapped his arm around her hip. Smoothly. Naturally, even. "And for the record, I do want to be burdened with your bullshit. Feel absolutely, one-hundred-percent free to trauma dump all over me as much or as little as you like."
It all happened so fast that Zoe barely even registered it before getting swept away by his words. Oliver kept getting handsier and handsier, yet he never flew too close to the sun. It didn't bother her that he'd taken a mile after she'd given him an inch. Not when everything felt so natural.
"I'll, uh... try and to keep that in mind, I guess," Zoe grumbled, her eyes glued to the floor. "You're saying you do actually want to learn more about me, though, right? I'm not misinterpreting, or being stupid, or... whatever the fuck?"
"Of course I do," Oliver laughed. "I've practically been dying for the chance. Was that not obvious?"
"Nothing's obvious lately, no thanks to you..." Zoe huffed under her breath, then shook her head. "Well, you had the perfect jumping-off point a minute ago. Why didn't you take it?"
"Because I know your parents are a touchy subject, and I didn't want to trigger any bad memories by asking loads of follow-up questions. I'm not jonesing for your troubled backstory so badly that I'd risk hurting you for a few breadcrumbs, silly. You'll either tell me these things when you're good and ready, or you won't at all. I'll be happy either way."
[Zoe has gained +3 Affection! +2 Smooth Talker]
Zoe's sunglasses drooped as she looked at her friend, and she felt all stupid inside upon seeing his gentle smile. Warm and fuzzy, too, but mostly stupid. God, how she hated her new normal- the pressure just kept on building up with nowhere to go.
'Fuckin' damn it, Olive! I just... ugh- fuck you, asshole! Fuck you for making me feel so... so comfy around you, and fuck me for falling so fast all this stupid shit!' Is what Zoe wanted to say. What she actually said was, "...Thanks, bro," and rather meekly, at that. When she saw him hold back a laugh, she forced herself to add, "For real, though. That means a lot, or, y'know, I... ugh- look, do I need to keep selling my sincerity, or can I shut the fuck up for now?"
"You can shut the fuck up for now," the laugh escaped Oliver. "Seeing as we've got games to play and tokens to buy."
"Huh? Oh. Shit." Zoe snapped to attention now that they stood outside Quarter's Up, and something in her gut rebelled against the sight. She took off her glasses and mask to get a better look.
"That's fuckin' weird. The sign's turned off, and it looks like all dusty and shit, too. Same with the windows." She couldn't tell if the interior was any worse off thanks to black curtains blocking the incoming light, but the vibes here were all out of whack. "Did you check beforehand to see if it's open?"
The question came with a concerning shift in Zoe's BGM. The track calmed so much that it barely sounded like the same song, and there were now some synth beats peppered throughout that rubbed Oliver the wrong way.
"It says they are," he said, pointing toward the schedule on the door. "Is everything okay, Zoe? You're looking kinda pale. More so than is the norm for your pasty, white ass, I mean."
The humor he'd thrown in fell flat. Zoe ignored him as she unlinked their arms and cocked her head, her expression tense as she continued staring. "I'm fine. Peachy, even, it's just that I've never seen the place looking so dire. The old dude who owned this place was always super on top of things, to put it fuckin' lightly."
"And to put it less lightly?"
"Guy's such a clean freak that he'd royally lose his shit if you spilled so much as a drop of Mountain Dew on his precious carpets."
"Damn. Sounds like a real hard ass." He suddenly realized why she'd been so insistent they washed their hands.
"Yeah, for real," Zoe's expression softened, as did her voice. Even her BGM reacquired some of its lost tempo. "Oh, fuck! Get this, Olive. I just remembered this one time when some ratty-ass skater dude came in baked out of his fuckin' gourd, right? Bro's hands were so covered in Cheeto dust you'd swear he thought the shit was soap, and the owner was in the back while this guy bought some tokens from the machine."
"Oh, no..." Oliver laughed, his heart soaring when she laughed back.
"Whatever you're imagining, it was worse. Way worse. I straight up thought the owner was gonna kill him, and that was before the pothead pissed his pants so bad it leaked all over the floor!"
"How do you do it, Zoe? How do you always manage to make everything about piss?" He shook his head, the corners of his mouth aching from how hard her story left him smiling. God, he loved the sound of this girl's voice and the silly, stupid things she said with it.
"What can I say? I'm consistent."
"Not the word I'd use to describe someone whose safe space is an arcade run by a murderous germaphobe."
"Heh. He's not that bad, I promise. I mean, yeah, he'll fucking kill you and hide the body for sticking gum under his arcade cabinets, but-"
"What could possibly justify a 'but' in that sentence after everything that came before it?" He joked.
"But he was always nice to me..." Zoe scratched the back of her neck, the nostalgic smile she adopted walloping Oliver so hard he almost hit the floor.
"Ah. Right, that'd do it. I'm sorry, Zoe."
"You're good," Zoe shrugged him off, her theme music growing dull once more. The busy mall seemed to darken around them as Zoe slowly but surely wound down from her stroll down memory lane. Her eyes glossed over the dusty windows again, and then the unlit sign.
Nobody said a word for a minute straight.
"We don't have to go in. Not if you don't want to."
"I know."
"Just say the word, and I'll take you home."
"I know you will."
"We can even play however much DokaDon Empire it'll take to make you never want to touch that fucking game again."
"...You're really sweet, Oliver. Too sweet. Like a scoop of fried ice cream that's been dipped in chocolate and then wrapped in a cocoon of an entire fuckin' industrial vat's worth of cotton candy. Honestly? You make me wanna hurl just about every time you open up your goddamn mouth."
[Zoe has gained +5 Affection! +3 Smooth Talker]
"It's probably my favorite thing about you, although your stupid face ain't that bad, either."
Oliver smiled at Zoe, and she smiled right back. Both their hearts raced as fast as if they'd eaten three solid servings of the diabetes explosion she'd just described.
"I'm flattered. Confused, but flattered. Would you care to elaborate?"
"Now who's fishing for compliments?" Zoe elbowed him in the ribs.
"A fellow attention whore," Oliver elbowed her back. "Humor me? C'mon. I'd love to hear what all you like about my face."
Zoe took a step forward and opened the door to Quarter's Up. She held it open for them, smirking at Oliver over her shoulder as she said, "All the adorable, goofy-ass expressions it'll make after I've made you my bitch at Ms. Pacman."
***
Stat Changes
Zoe Myers | Status: Friend(?) | 139/100 | ♡♡♡♡♡
2025-04-05 01:07:53 +0000 UTC View PostNot entirely sure on the complete estimate but I probably only need another few days. I have had a really good week, and two days ago was one of the best nights of my life. I got to see the Broadway tour of Chicago and I’m still feeling the afterglow from that. Milly is essentially funding my desire to start going out more in the hopes that it will help, and it certainly seems to have done so. My word count hasn’t spiked or anything but I’ve had several very good sessions since then that I feel great about. I feel bad that a whole month passed with me fussing over this one chapter, but at least we’re getting somewhere and I mentally feel like a human again.
2025-03-30 23:25:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey guys, got the next one of these for you all. Really happy with it, just like everything I get from Kuro! Stacy will be next.
Obligatory writing update, it hasn’t gone great since I last said anything- though I’ve changed some stuff and am seeing some productivity increase these last few days. I observed that I felt the worst mentally the day after taking a CBD gummy and I’ve been told that kind of thing can interact badly with my antidepressant and I was taking them every 2-3 days, so I decided to stop and see if it helps. Been a few days now and I had my first semi decent writing session in like a week so I’m guessing I was on to something. The more obvious tell is that I haven’t felt anywhere near as mentally burnt out as I did the day after a gummy, so, yeah, hoping this keeps helping.
Unfortunately the chapter is a bit further off because a good chunk of it wasn’t sitting right with me and I scrapped it. I did write roughly a full new page today though so I hope it won’t be too long.
Thank you Milly for the art!
Art by https://twitter.com/mackyneko265
2025-03-23 00:54:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Another of these cute and cartoony pinups from the same artist as the last one! This time it’s Tessa. I’m not sure why she looks fucking jacked but I assumed it’s the artist’s style and I didn’t mind so I never said anything, but it’s a little funny lmao.
Had a decent day writing today after a couple of bad ones. I think I just need another few good days to wrap up the next chapter, so we’re definitely getting there.
Art by https://vgen.co/ARIASAN
2025-03-15 00:10:04 +0000 UTC View PostHey guys, I don’t have too much to say but I wanted to touch base since it’s been a while. Progress on Chapter 90 has been hit and Miss. My moods are very stable but I’m still not getting a ton done on average each day. I’ve also been editing some of the earlier vol. 2 chapters when I hit a point where I’m like ‘my brain isn’t working with prose right now’ so that at least I’m remaining productive. I do want to say that I feel almost completely adjusted to the antidepressant now, though. Like I feel exactly the way that I used to be when I was on it save for some lingering brain fog in what feels like my frontal lobe, and I can only imagine that’ll clear up now that just about everything else has. I’ll be watching myself closely this next month while continuing to work as much as I can.
2025-03-10 00:38:26 +0000 UTC View Post
A nice little pic of Zoe in a cute and cartoony style, which I think turned out quite well! Nothing too much else to say about it other than that I like it and it was a gift from Urban so thank you very much for it!
Sorry I’ve been quiet here for a while. It’s been a mix of bad moods plus my contractual obligation to take time off whenever a new Monster Hunter releases, so I’ve been busy playing wilds and trying to feel better. Going to make a big push on the next chapter right after I post this, though.
Art by https://vgen.co/ARIASAN
2025-03-04 20:31:37 +0000 UTC View Post
Another one of these! I actually have another to share, I just wanted to post this one first since I had more input on it. Lot of fun stuff here, though I appreciate the casual center pic just as much as all of the lewds. I can’t get enough of big sheets like this in general, though. Once I’m done with character specific ones it’d be fun to do more sequential/themed ones, as I love and get along great with this artist and I’m sure he’s up for anything.
As for chapter 90, good and bad news. I had a bad couple of days, but then today was a lot better and I got a good chunk done. Still pretty far out from completion but I’m feeling good about it.
Thank you so much for the art Milly!
Art by https://twitter.com/mackyneko265
2025-02-26 23:28:30 +0000 UTC View Post