🙋‍♂️ Hi

Hello everyone. I was supposed to write to you yesterday, but I still didn't feel ready. In fact, I still don't feel very well, but I still think it's been too long.

I've always been the kind of person who believes that in life, all you have to do is try your best and that the results will be fair according to the work you do, like the law of cause and effect, planting and harvesting, etc. I've always believed in these things, but now that I've gotten a certain age and seen everything that happens in the world, both in the macro and microcosms, I see that I've always been very wrong, unfortunately.

From what we see in the world, luck, chance and chaos make much more sense than anything else.

I've always considered myself a lucky person in this crazy and chaotic world. I was born into a great family, I had excellent parents, I never wanted for anything, despite being poor. I was able to grow up and develop fully, with great health and happiness. The only bad luck I had was being born in a backward and primitive country like Brazil, but on the other hand, I understand that there are other countries that are much worse.

I think I was spoiled by always having this "luck" in life. But a few years ago, I think I started to really have a reality check on what life is, especially in relation to the passage of time, aging, and health problems.

As I always told you, I was always an athlete, full of health and vigor. But after the pandemic, I created the page and my life simply changed completely in terms of health. 3D is a very time-consuming and exhausting activity, and spending 12/14 hours a day for several years sitting in front of a screen is taking a heavy toll on me. As much as people tell me that I need to balance things, I am very obsessive in everything I do and end up wearing myself out too much wanting to do the best in everything. I've tried everything, several formulas to try to find a balance and I always end up exhausted. I always had hope, I always thought I would be able to find a balance and get back to the health I always had, but nowadays I have a lot of doubts about whether this will really be possible.

I don't know why I'm writing these things, I think maybe it's a rant since all of this has been too much for me and I'm very lonely here at the farm. I'm going to take a break from the text and think better about what to write about everything that happened. I also can't look at the screen for too long because my eyes hurt a lot with the brightness of the screen. I'm sorry.