The Age of Chaos Ch. 40 (Original Fantasy)
Added 2025-03-21 22:00:04 +0000 UTC(Every character depicted in the story below is a consenting legal adult over the age of 18)
A/N: In which things between Oren and Sophia finally boil over in all the best ways~
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Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193eBqw7YZh9VvHNbDlUzqdblbg3NYpTuZIvYUAQYU1Y/edit?tab=t.0
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Comments
2) Ahhh....yeah...that would make sense. Longer than a conventional dagger but shorter than a "short" sword (ex. Roman gladius)...akin to a shorter model Japanese wakizashi? 3) Took another run at the paragraph in question..and yeah, must have read "thumb" as "thumbs" the first couple of times through. So the use of "don't" is correct.
Alun Lewis
2025-03-23 02:01:31 +0000 UTC2) yeah its a fantasy dagger, so closer to 12-15-ish inches long. there's a reason ive never called it a knife, basically. for comparison, the average man's chest depth is about 8-10 inches. 3) nah, you might have read it as thumb instead of thumbs maybe. The sentence is "his thumbs don't flick at her nipples" and "his thumbs doesn't flick at her nipples" would sound very weird. If it were thumb instead of thumbs, then 'doesn't' would make more sense.
Cambrian
2025-03-22 19:38:23 +0000 UTCOK...three things I'd like to note and they're kinda all over the place, focus-wise: 1) This chapter is a great culmination of all the sexual tension that's been building between Oren & Sophia, especially with how you balance out the level of detail against describing the moment in the perspective character's words; 2) One niggling point that cropped up a couple of chapters ago, when Oren became a pincushion after shielding Sophia from the Celestial Dagger, and came back here when Oren was describing his healed injuries...how big the Celestial Dagger is. Unless Oren is deceptively skinny, any bladed weapon considered a dagger logically wouldn't be long enough to pierce all the way through a human torso... 3) In the description of Oren's gentle handling of Sophia's breasts and nipples, you use "don't" when I believe "doesn't" would be grammatically correct. Or at least makes the sentence seem to flow better. But yeah....I really liked this chapter overall and any nitpicking is because those two details above stood out to me, personally 😀
Alun Lewis
2025-03-22 19:31:05 +0000 UTCGood catch, fixt!
Cambrian
2025-03-22 03:32:38 +0000 UTCOh, nice. Chance to find comfort in each other. Think you mean a “back up plan”, not “back plan” Honestly, wonder if just trying to find Oceanus is worth it, cos how much worse can things get, and also, hearing about Aureo’s account of the Sea, I do wonder if he’d even care that they killed his son; natural selection and all that.
m ountain
2025-03-22 03:31:01 +0000 UTCI guess one solution would be to travel to the void n find that God that made the armour and weapon in the first place, if they’re still alive that is.
Sirca Mori
2025-03-22 00:32:43 +0000 UTCFINALLY
robopanda56
2025-03-22 00:02:53 +0000 UTCIs the Godslayer armor and weapon something Tyranos forged while in the void? Or is it his personal gear from back when he waged war against Law? Im assuming the later option since it seemed like Law recognized it, which means Law must have had some armaments of equal or greater strength to fight Tyranos when he won the war back then. Is Oren going to get that gear and fight Tyranos while looking like the paladin equivalent of the Godslayer?
Sith2go
2025-03-21 22:45:00 +0000 UTCAnd now, due to their Folly of not using protection, we must have a nine month timeskip.
Avalon
2025-03-21 22:43:39 +0000 UTCYeah, nothing makes you realize you're touch deprived like finding yourself leaning into it when your barber is wetting your hair Those two are both seriously fucked up though
TheSinful
2025-03-21 22:43:31 +0000 UTCVitamin D saves the day again,
Sith2go
2025-03-21 22:39:51 +0000 UTCThank you, fixed!
Cambrian
2025-03-21 22:14:17 +0000 UTCThe Epub and Pdf links aren't showing for me.
Nanaya7Nights
2025-03-21 22:13:26 +0000 UTC
