Chapter 104 - The Dungeon Problem

The first official use of Taskmaster went more perfectly than I ever could have dreamed.

For hours I watch and guide Sam and Zutiria on their quest to carve out as many living rock monsters as they can find. Meri patiently stays by my side, leaving only to occasionally make me some more coffee and to check on the maids and ensure they aren’t having any problems.

Thanks to a combination of powerful sword attacks from Sam, spells and Staggerstaff blows from Zutiria, as well as a hint of my own guidance here and there, the two of them manage to bring in quite a haul. It’s been a while since the local Roggeroll population has been brought down so they were never long without a new fight.

In total the two of them slayed thirty-two of them, leading to a grand total of 19,200G profits for the day. That’s... a lot. A very, very fucking good day indeed. Since the proof of kills were so large and heavy this time around they went through both burlap sacks that they brought with them and they ended up having to use Returners to send the load back early.

This startled the kitties even though during their initial tour of the place they were taught how the Return Gate works. I had to go out and explain to them that when they hear a load of monster parts being transported in they need to go and take it to the storage room, and Peri and Cherry were more than happy to help sort the large, pretty crystals harvested from the Roggerolls.

After deciding to throw in the towel from three or so straight hours of rigorous monster hunting, Sam surprises us by asking Zutiria out on that date I suggested. It’s not like it was a big deal and we all gasped or anything, it was casual. Every one of us is all fucking each other in some capacity, after all...

Zutiria agreed happily and they used the Returners one after the other to teleport back home, say hi briefly, change out of their adventuring gear, ask for a little bit of money and head back out. I give them 5,000G out of the Guild vault and they both give me a kiss before stepping out to have a late afternoon together.

Meri seems more than happy with this arrangement and over the last few hours she’s been an adorably clingy secretary. I’m eager to continue our time together while I finish up a few remaining pieces of paperwork regarding the day’s quests. Mailing forms, quest completion forms, Guild bank deposit statements... the ride never ends.

“Should I go check on the maids, Master?” Meri leans into my shoulder and smiles, eager to be helpful in any way she can make herself. You’d think a young girl like her would do absolutely anything to get away from working in a stuffy old office like this, but she takes it in stride because of how sweet she is and because her personality is just naturally helpful to begin with.

“Yes, tell them to stop for now I think. They’ve been cleaning for hours now without any breaks.”

The Shield Maiden frowns and looks down at the ground. “Last time I was out there they still weren’t very far... this is a really big building...”

“I’m aware. They’re not going to be able to handle it on their own, but if we can just get the entrance hall sorted out we can renovate it and then upkeep should get that much easier.”

Meri giggles and looks into my eyes shyly. “You’re always thinking about what comes next, aren’t you...?”

“Of course, my dear Meri. My brain is all I have. It would be a crime for it to not always be kept in motion.”

“T-That’s not true! You have a lot more going on for you than just being smart... and we’ve all seen how bad you can get when you think too much!”

“Perhaps. What do you propose I do to distract myself if it gets to be too much for my poor little mind to bear?” I smile at her in delight as I watch her cheeks flush.

“I-I can think of a few ideas... Master knows that I’m his little stress ball w-whenever he needs me to be.” The meek maiden’s lips quiver as she hangs on her words, yet she manages to say them with a small amount of confidence.

“Mmm. Isn’t that a pretty picture. Go check on the kitties,” I lean over to give her a tender kiss on the lips, much to her happiness, and then pull away as I go back to work on the documentation laid before me. “And on your way back bring me that book on the shelf there. The red one, Guild Bylaws vol. 7.”

Meri looks on in disbelief at the gigantic book in question. “M-Master, I’m strong, but I’m not SAM strong...”

“You’ll be fine.”

Meri goes and does as she’s said while I briefly continue my writing. I wanted to check a certain part of the Dungeon laws and limitations because while thinking about our current situation of being unable to explore the forest dungeon, I remembered something else. Assuming I’m correct it wouldn’t solve that specific problem but if a certain Goddess were willing to use some more miracles in the near future there may be a loophole.

Sure enough when Meri brings me the titanic tome and I spend a good twenty minutes tracking down the specific passage I’m looking for. Yeah, by all accounts it should be possible... assuming I don’t mind the risk of some ‘innocent’ Dewhurstians getting potentially roped into this. Not that there are any innocents in this town to begin with.

I have to ask Luxy about it though, and Meri is less than thrilled about the idea of potentially being exposed to one of the Goddess’s angels. It’s important though so she agrees after I pressure her a little.

“Lux Ultima. I have a request, will you please hear me out once more?”

Silence.

I sigh and hang my head. “...Please?”

The same ball of light as before appears a few feet away from my desk, thankfully she learned not to use any angels this time around.

-You told me to leave, you know. Why should I help you after that, huh?- Snotty as always. Not sure why I expected anything different.

“I-I’m sorry!” Meri bows before the manifestation of Luxy’s will. “Please don’t be mad at him! He was really only worried about us... he... um...”

-...Mortal, I don’t believe I addressed you.- Luxy says in a stern voice.

“Can you please drop the whole pretending to act like a Goddess thing and just be casual with me like you were before?”

-Pretending?! I-I wasn’t pretending at all! I AM a proud Goddess!-

Meri bites her lip and looks away from the ball of light like she wants to say something but is too afraid to speak. I grab her by the shoulder and firmly remind her that it’s alright and she smiles meekly back at me. Meri’s probably very uncomfortable right now... she did kind of reveal the other day that she holds the Goddess accountable to a degree for her mother’s death, even if it’s only through inaction.

But thankfully she’s strong enough to know I’m about to ask for a favor and that she can’t risk upsetting our temperamental benefactor.

“Then please, Goddess... hear him out?” She pleads, clasping her hands together as she smiles softly.

-I’m here, aren’t I? Speak.-

I clear my throat and flip to the first page needed to be “According to addendum 134-b of subsection D, article 11-”

-NOPE don’t fuckin’ care, miss me with that by the books shit and just say what you fucking want.-

“D-Did she just swear...?” Meri whispers, looking at me with shock and confusion. I don’t know how her family raised her, but it’s safe to say that her expectations of what the Goddess should behave and act like are at odds with the reality before her very own eyes.

I give her a reassuring pat on the head to comfort the inconvenient truth of her religion being mostly bullshit.

“There’s an emergency measure allowing immediate clearing of dungeons if they’re located within a populated town. I’ll have to file an absurd amount of paperwork every time, but if a random building in town were to suddenly morph into a dungeon filled with monsters that threaten to escape into the streets... it would certainly be well within my rights as an acting Guild Master to deploy my adventurers and do what’s right.”

“Wow, that would solve a lot of problems...!” Meri’s eyes sparkle with enthusiasm, and then shortly they change into a look of anxious, compassionate hesitation. “But w-what if monsters DO start leaking out onto the streets...?”

“Would you really care?” I ask while taking an incredulous tone.

“I-I’m a Shield Maiden... protecting people is my job, and... um...” She twiddles her thumbs while taking time to actually think about it.

“Meri. Come on.”

“...I guess it wouldn’t be THAT bad o-or anything.” She admits after coming to terms with the fact the Karnalle would likely be better off with fewer Dewhurstians living in it.

Both of us look back at the glowing ball of light that represents Luxy, waiting for her response.

-I might be able to work with that.- She says rather agreeably for her. -But I can’t just keep snapping my fingers and giving you everything you ask for... even if I DO owe you a lot of divine intervention in your life there’s a lot of rules to this whole bet thing. Complicated ancient Gods bullshit, you know how it is.-

“Well if you can help me, then how can you do it in a way that wouldn’t upset the rules too much?” I’m getting awfully tired of hearing about the rules and restrictions of this bet. I’d ask for a complete list of them but I think it’s safe to assume that that wouldn’t be allowed either.

-Think about it, smart-ass. I can’t tell you when and where I’ll do it, only that I’ll wait until I see the best chance for it to make it tough and challenging. When I help you it needs to give you chances to improve yourself. You can suggest things, sure, but if I just give out everything you ask for then the powers that be I’ll be unable to help you out at all.-

“B-But you ARE the powers that be!” Meri says.

-Yeah well, I ain’t the only powers that be. Also uh... sorry about earlier.- Luxy whispers under her breath.

“W-What...?”

-The... you know... down there?-

“...” Meri blushes and begins sweating profusely out of shame.

-It’s ok, it... it happens to everyone.- Luxy coughs awkwardly from wherever she actually is,

“ANYWAY.” I clear my throat to get the conversation back on track. “As rough as it can be working with you, Lux, I would much rather we avoid that outcome.” The thought is a scary one. Even if I’m committed to bringing down the Demon Lord with my Guild, there’s no way I could do it without Luxy’s ongoing support. It’s a thin tightrope I need to walk in order to pull this off.

-Yeah, I figured.- She sighs an irritated sigh knowing that we’re stuck with each other. -I also haven’t done the whole dungeon in a town thing before, that’s more something my sister would do. There’s no telling what kinda shit might happen. Dungeons are weird, you know? They spawn treasure, create monsters outta nowhere, and they have big strong bosses. If I just overlay them onto something that’s already there... things might get weird.-

“Can you do it, though?” I lean over on the desk and cup my chin in my hands.

-Yes.-

I look at Meri for approval and the timid brunette nods her head.

“Then whenever you see a chance, make things as weird as you fucking have to.”