RotGM Chapter 81 - Answered Prayers

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I never thought today would go down the way it did, but I’ve said that a lot of times over the last month or so I guess...

The team meeting broke up after I quickly explained the whole ten thousand years of darkness thingy and we all agreed to just not think about it. Everyone, save for Nikita who left, was in agreement that we would settle this all in our generation and we won’t be playing by Luxy’s rules.

If she wants to win, she’ll be playing by mine.

Surprisingly things felt a lot more normal after we got done with the meeting, Gwin and Opal leaving for their homes just like any other day leaving just the four of us who live here. I do agree with Gwin that she was fairly out of place at the meeting, but it would have felt odd not to include her.

I’ll likely need the aid of her family down the line anyway.

Sam and Meri had a very tense moment, but Meri has since apologized and I think Sam more than understands what she was feeling at that time. I’m fairly confident there won’t be any problems, Meri is much too kind to take out any frustration she has with Sam’s father on her... not when it’s plain for anyone to see just how much Sam hates him as well.

And then there’s Zutiria.

She was barely with us mentally during the meeting and even after she’s not doing that much better. I talked it over with Sam and Meri and both have agreed to spend the night in Meri’s old bedroom together, even though Meri was very eager to spend it with me. It’s for the best, though, as I had something I needed Zutiria to do for me...

After nightfall we all retired to our respective bedrooms, while I made sure that Nikita’s is ready for her whenever she returns tonight.

Zutiria and I enter the main bedroom together. Both the gaping floor and the hole in the door are patched up thanks to Gwin, who took care of both before she left for home. Luckily Nikita brought back plenty of Pinemen with her and she took the liberty of chopping them up before our meeting, so we should have plenty in case we need to do more work around here soon.

I highly doubt anything sexual will be happening with Zutiria tonight, but nonetheless I still have something that requires her assistance. After changing out of my clothes and stripping down to wear nothing but pajama pants, I present the problem.

‘...She really got rid of it just to spite you?’ The Mage asks curiously as I reveal my naked manhood to her, showing that yes. Luxy really did remove my Rune of Safe Passage.

“For obvious reasons I didn’t want to reveal it during the meeting...” I sigh and sit down on the bed, not only would I have been laughed at but it likely would’ve lowered the group’s opinions of my personal Goddess even further. I do need them to understand that Luxy DOES want to help and thus I left out the parts where I terrorized her and made her piss herself...

I’m sure she’s quite mad at me for how I made her look, but she’s chosen to stay silent. Haven’t you, Luxy?

...

Nothing. That’s fine. I’m sure neither of us are enthusiastic to talk more after what happened today...

Just like I’m not enthusiastic about what Zutiria is about to do for me.

After changing into a purple, low-cut, silky nightgown flecked with brilliant yellow stars Zutiria closes her eyes and summons a small block of wood from the storage room downstairs.

‘Open.’ She places it to my mouth and I clamp down, shutting my eyes as closely as I can.

And then the feeling of a blowtorch on my penis returns causing me to scream loudly into the wood while biting it hard. We don’t have Sam handy to keep me steady but thankfully I’m able to stop myself from thrashing. It’s not anywhere near as bad the second time around... much to my relief. It seems like it’s faster, too...

‘There.’ Zutiria sighs and lays down on the bed. ‘Sorry. I don’t think I’m up for helping you test it. If you want then I can sleep in the other bedroom and you, Sammy and Meri can have fun here.’

“Do you think I need to have sex every night of my life?” I ask after wiping off the sweat from my terrifying tattoo.

‘...I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to spend time with me. You had a much worse day than I had.’ She hangs her head and takes off her round glasses, handing them to me to place over on the nightstand table while I turn off the light.

“I want to spend the night with you because I want to, Zutiria.”

‘...You spoil me too much. All I do is constantly try to one up Sam, Meri and the others when it comes to you. You can push me away. I’d understand.’ Zutiria pulls the blanket over her face to hide her sadness, leaving me a clear view of her evasive blue eyes doing their best to avoid.

“I always give you so much attention because you need it more than they do. You’re...”

‘Say it, Sir.’

“...Zutiria...”

‘Say that they’re normal and I’m not.’

“That’s NOT what I was going to-”

‘I don’t deserve you... I... I can still go home before I hurt you... before I make any more mistakes...’ The silent girl begins to cry.

Instinctively, I move to wrap my arm around her but she pushes back against me.

‘Don’t touch me... Sir... it was all true... everything they said about me was true. I thought I could try to find happiness and for the last couple of weeks I... I was so sure that it did... I tried not to think about what happened to me. Every day I’d wake up and lie to myself that I deserved... whatever it is I found here with you, Sammy and the others... but it’s not possible to run from what I did.’

I stare at her in the darkness, unblinking, unmoving, just... listening. Or reading, rather, but letting her vent everything she needs to get off of her chest.

‘I killed them all. Mom... Dad... even Big Sis... and every other person in the village... just like that... It was me. I did it. I did it. It was my fault... my fault... no... NO NO NO NO NO NO-’

“ZUTIRIA!!” I throw off the blanket as she starts to violently thrash about as if she were in the middle of one of her nightmares, sit up and pull her into a hug.

‘LET ME GO I’LL HURT YOU, SIR- DON’T NO I’M GOING TO HURT YOU STOP-’ Her words become a garbled mess of telling me not to hold her, and she loses all control of her actions.

She bites me.

‘STOP-’

She tears open my back with her nails.

‘I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS-’

She kicks me.

‘LET GO OF ME NO, NO-’

She punches me.

‘I’LL RUIN EVERYTHING-’

She pulls my hair.

‘ALL I DID WAS OPEN MY STUPID MOUTH!!’

I don’t stop holding her.

...

Zutiria loses all of her energy and stops her thrashing. She’s no Sam, but I’m sure I look pretty rough for wear right about now... not like it matters. The only thing I care about is hugging the little lady and doing anything I can to lighten the pain in her heart by even just the smallest amount, if she’ll let me.

She breathes heavily in my arms and eventually begins to return my affection, crying and wiping her tears against my shirtless skin. I stroke her hair just as I always have and remain silent, letting her know that neither of us have to say anything and we can simply remain like this for as long as she’d like. In the dark, and in total silence.

No one needs to say a word.

Her shaking, trembling body finally begins to calm and she buries her head fully into my chest, accepting all that I have to give.

‘...Why? Why don’t you hate me?’

“Why would I?”

‘I’m useless. I ruin everything. I’m clingy. I steal your attention away from girls who deserve it more. I can’t even be there for you when you need me the most, because one little slip up and suddenly I break down and the entire day becomes about me because... because I’m a fragile, broken, little porcelain doll who fell and shattered into so many tiny pieces that I can’t ever be fixed.’

“I don’t care if you’re broken.”

‘It could happen again...’

“It won’t.”

‘I’ll never move past it... I’ll always be like this...’

“And I fell in love with you knowing full well you might never be ‘fixed’. I love the silly little Mage who sits on my lap any chance she gets, who embarasses me around others with her clinginess, who never misses a sarcastic joke, and who dresses her silly little pet rat up like her boyfriend.”

‘S... Sir...?’ Zutiria bites her lip and her eyes water once again, this time she holds them back as she gazes up at me.

“You don’t need to be ‘fixed’ in order to be happy.”

She stares back in amazement, my words genuinely shocking her as if she’d never considered the possibility of someone loving her- faults and all.

‘...I promise... I’ll tell you everything one day...’ She sniffles and hides her head in the nape of my neck.

“You don’t have to.”

‘No... you need to hear it... but... even so much as thinking about it... or trying to remember... makes me... makes me...!’ She almost loses herself once again and she covers her mouth in fear, even though not a word came out. Her stomach lurches and I briefly fear she’s going to lose her dinner, but she chokes whatever was coming up back down.

I rub her back tenderly and comfort her as much as I can, and Zutiria manages to regain composure shortly after.

‘I... I love you... I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you... not really... but I can’t live without you.’ The Mage looks up at me, lip trembling and eyes red from tears.

“I love you too, Zutiria. It doesn’t matter if you think you don’t deserve me, what matters is that I want you. And I always will.”

‘...Um, Sir...?’

“Hm?”

‘Will you... take me to see the kitties tomorrow...?’

I smile warmly and nod my head.

“Of course.”

She closes her eyes and presses her lips against mine.

By all accounts it’s a disgusting, sloppy, tearful, mucus-y kiss but it’s also among the sweetest I’ve ever had. I’ll never forget this moment in time where we connected and shared our love...

Especially not after what happened next.

Zutiria pulls away in shock, staring wide-eyed directly into my face.

“...Zutiria?”

‘...Sir? Your eyes... they’re... glowing...!!’

“What?!” My heart stops and I stand up and head over to the mirror in the bathroom. It hurts when I look at it without Zutiria in my line of sight but it was worth confirming. My eyes are indeed glowing pink.

I rush back to the bedroom and look at Zutiria. “This has never happened before... what... the fuck...?”

‘Sir, calm down! I’ll go get the others, we can go get Opal if we need to, just-’ Before I can finish reading her words the light glows even more intensely and it blinds me for a split second... before suddenly a stylized, cartoonish version of Luxy appears in the whiteness making a peace sign while sticking her tongue out.

-ZUTIRIA SYNDALINE BOND LEVEL TWO ACHIEVED, BITCH!-

Luxy’s voice echoes out from nowhere in particular and my vision restores.

‘What... was that...?!’ Zutiria’s face goes white and she looks at me worriedly.

“Did you hear that just now?”

‘Yes...? My heart also felt really funny just now when I heard it, too...’

“That was her... Lux Ul... ti... ma?” I stop as soon as I notice something strange in my eyes. Or rather... no... how do I possibly explain this?

It’s like suddenly I know they can do so much more if I just think about it. Maybe they always could have, and I just didn’t know how.

But... something just sort of... fell into place.

My next words shock not only Zutiria, but myself as well.

“Open Guild Roster.”

My eyes react and the light grows intense once more- before a large magical screen projects itself in front of my vision almost exactly like the small tablet I saw Luxy using earlier this very day only much, much bigger. Like a small window, almost.

On the screen are three icons showing portraits of my girls. One of Sam, Zutiria and Meri in that exact order. Sam and Meri are both grayed out, while Zutiria is the only one currently in color.

As to why, well... under their pictures is a small indicator with a bar underneath it. It reads ‘Bond Level’ and after that, well, Zutiria’s is the only one that says it’s at two. The bar beneath Zutiria’s is entirely empty, but Sam’s bar is almost completely full while Meri’s is a little bit over halfway there.

‘Sir... what kind of magic is this...?’ Zutiria stands up and touches the screen, but her hand phases through it. Her eyes which were only minutes ago crying their soul out are replaced with the serious look of a magical scholar. ‘Amazing...’

I reach out and touch it myself only to find that the screen does not shimmer and phase my hand through it, and that I’m able to reposition and resize the screen to whatever dimensions I want.

‘How are you doing this?’ Zutiria walks through the screen and stands at my side, clasping onto my pajama pants as she looks head on at the display.

“The Goddess said I was close to finding out what my eyes are really capable of...”

‘And getting closer to me... let you do this?’ She figures it out pretty quickly. ‘Sammy is going to be really jealous...’

“No, look.” I point at the bars below the bond level. “When this bar maxes out the level increases I believe. Her difference with you was negligible at best, and you likely only had a slight edge on her because-”

‘Of how clingy I am. Well. I guess there was an upside to it...’ She sighs, still not entirely out of her bad mood but at least able to interject some positivity into the situation. ‘Can you... do something to my picture, then? Why else would the others be gray?’

“I... think I can click on it.”

Zutiria tilts her head at me. ‘...Click?’

“Nevermind. Just watch.” I reach out and touch Zutiria’s icon and a second screen pops up out of nowhere, surprising both me and the mage.

It looks like a big dossier not too dissimilar to the adventurers I saw on Luxy’s screen, but this one’s a lot more primitive. It lists all sorts of things about her. Name... age... birthplace (Arkha Village, apparently)... it even tells me what ‘equipment’ she has right now, which currently only reads ‘Purple Starry Lingerie’.

Over on the left side of the dossier is a large portrait of Zutiria with one button underneath it and several more grayed out beneath that. The only clickable button right now reads ‘Camera’. What on Karnalle could that possibly mean? My hand reaches out towards it and I look at Zutiria for support.

She nervously swallows and nods up at me, urging me forward.

I click the button and the screen transforms into the trippiest, most surreal sight I’ve ever seen. It’s... a view of me and Zutiria in this very room from behind as we both look into the screen that we’re currently staring into.

Zutiria notices the implications instantly and she turns around only to see nothing behind us that could be transmitting this... moving picture of us in real time.

‘Sir... this is...’

“Do you know what this is, Zutiria?”

Her eyes open wider from shock and she looks around. ‘What the- Sir... I-I can hear your voice in my head...!?’

I can’t believe it.

“Close All.” I say, somehow knowing that that’s what I needed to say in order to make all the screens disappear.

Zutiria looks at me nervously for answers and I tell her one thing and one thing only.

“This is everything I’ve been praying for.”