RotGM Chapter 79 - The Situation

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“Yes, Sam. Your new armor is very nice. Now let me finish this, this is very important... I won’t be much longer. Gather everyone in the entrance hall and clear the quest board for me.”

“What?! D-Don’t you like it...? I thought it’d cheer Daddy up to see his favorite Princess in her new gown! If you played your cards right I was even gonna let you take me to the royal ball!” Sam sarcastically whines, grumpily stomping her newly armored foot at me.

“Sam. Please. Things happened, and Zutiria needs you right now.” I sigh and continue scrawling on the various papers laid before me on my desk, sipping a fresh cup of coffee the troubled Mage brewed for me after she calmed down enough for me to leave her side. “She’s doing better, but... still. Keep her occupied until I’m ready to begin the presentation.”

“...Sorry.” Sam sighs and starts walking towards the door to my office. “I was just hoping it would’ve cheered you up.”

Taking a quick glance up from my work, I stare Sam directly in the eyes. “Normally, it would have. You look stunningly sexy.”

“...Damn straight.” Sam’s sour expression changes and she smiles, closing my door on the way out.

Things aren’t good... but they could be a lot worse.

In a way I should be thankful to the Duke. That afternoon post-goddess depression I was in? Totally gone. Only anger remains now and it also reminded me that after all that talk about the Demon Lord, well, I have a much more pressing foe that needs to be toppled.

And the Duke of Dewhurst is no Demon Lord.

Zutiria was shaken for an entire hour after our encounter with the mysterious ‘Fleetfoot’.

I held her in my arms and assured her that everything will be alright, because I’m going to make it so. I meant what I said, I truly don’t care about whatever happened in her past. Do I want to know? Yes. How could I not? Would it stop me from feeling the way I do about her?

Never.

The way they tried to use her against me is unforgivable, and I won’t be taking it sitting down.

And who was behind this insulting attack on my home?

The self-proclaimed Duke of the shittiest town in the entire realm. His subjects? A scant population of some fifteen thousand drug dealers, pimps, mana crystal addicts, prostitutes, drunkards, rapists and one very enthusiastic butcher. How fucking impressive.

Not only did he completely write me off as a threat, he went out of your way to explicitly tell me I have two months to fortify my defenses. I’m well aware that it could be a bluff but I’m quite certain it’s not. Why bother playing games with me when he could have just had Fleetfoot kill me then and there? The answer is obvious.

He wants me to play back... without even knowing he’s already lost the game when he chose to underestimate me.

I finish up my coffee and stop stewing on my hatred. I don’t want to spiral, and there’s work to be done... a presentation to be held.

I’ve called a new team meeting and prepared a number of notes. As soon as they’re all ready I exit my office to see the six girls who are on my side right as of now. Sam, Zutiria, Meri, Opalina, Nikita and Gwin. Everyone is huddled on the nearest table to the quest board and just as I asked Sam has cleared it out for me to use during my presentation. Zutiria is currently being looked after by Opal and Sam, but she’s still present.

All eyes are on me as I pin a truly conspiratorial number of notes to the board ranging from many topics and notes particularly focused on the Duke, with a few detailing my encounter with Luxy. Once I’m done laying out all my notes, I stand up in front of my audience.

“As you’re well aware by now, the Guild was invaded by a deadly would-be assassin shortly after you all left. It goes without saying that-”

Nikita interrupts me and kneels. “I’m sorry, Chief. I didn’t sense a thing. Whoever did this to you... well... if I couldn’t sense their killing intent, then-”

“What’s more likely, Nikita? Someone being able to hide their killing intent from you? Or that the intruder had no killing intent? Honest question. Don’t downplay your own talent.”

The Grekkan raises her head and thinks. “Well. When you put it like that, it’s hard to believe they could get past me if we were in the same town. If I felt even a trickle of bloodlust anywhere even near the Guild, buddy... hooooo boy. You haven’t seen how fast I could get here if I really, REALLY had to.”

“Hm. As I thought.” I nod my head.

“Boss, go back a bit. Can you tell us about the intruder?” Sam, still wearing her shiny new set of armor, is the second most angry about what happened today only behind me. She clenches her fist as she asks.

“According to the intruder themselves, they’re -ALLEGEDLY- God by the name of Fleetfoot. Any bells? Anyone? They’re definitely a Halfling, though I’m not particular to their pantheon.”

Opalina crosses her arms. “Fleetfoot IS a god, but it’s also a common moniker taken by Halfling rogues throughout the realms. Legend goes that they’re one of the rare examples of a mortal becoming a God- Fleetfoot was the greatest thief who ever lived and when he ran out of things to steal he stole the Godliness itself from one of the Gods of Merryburrow, essentially trading places with him in the Pantheon.”

“Lovely lore dump, my dear. Very thrilling.”

Opalina giggles and blushes. “Apologies, us old ladies do love to ramble...”

“Indeed. First of all, let’s not let there be any pretensions. I’m entirely convinced this was not the work of the divine. The intruder wore a terrifying mask that looked a little something like this,” I point towards a crude sketch I made that’s pinned on the board. “And it not only distorted the wearer’s voice but made it impossible to make direct eye contact with them.”

‘It’s true.’ Zutiria somberly adds from Opalina’s lap.

“Fuck’s it matter if they got a creepy mask?” Gwin asks suspiciously.

“Why would a God need a tool to threaten Zutiria and I? No. That mask was some sort of magical artifact. And... jumping ahead a bit, I had a brush with the divine earlier in the day... that was what had me in such a bad mood when you came upstairs, Gwin. Comparing the two experiences back to back? I think I can safely confirm that our little Halfling friend is NO God.”

“Ya fuckin’ did what now?” Gwin shakes her head in disbelief.

“Didn’t Nikita tell you earlier about this?” Meri asks sheepishly.

“Yes, I explained I was having a meeting with his patron deity hours ago, Little Hephaestus.” Nikita reminds the Dwarf with a small laugh.

“Ah thought that was just more bullshite! Can someone bring me th’ fuck up to speed on any a this? Ah just gave th’ fucker a handy and told him he was cute- dunno where th’ fuck this gobsmack be comin’ from.”

I let out a long sigh and run down the absolute basics on my godly history thus far for Gwin. I leave out the details of the Goddess’s identity since that’s where part two of the meeting is going, but to my surprise I’m met with mostly quiet acceptance from the young Dwarf.

“Fuck it, sure.” Gwin shrugs her shoulders and sighs. “Already decided ah’ll help ya out long as mah family don’t catch on, not like this bullshite changes much.”

“Right, moving on... ah, yes. Another reason Fleetfoot isn’t a God would be the voice changing feature of the mask.”

“Because... why?” Sam tilts her head.

A tired and hurt Zutiria answers her. ‘Gods don’t need a mask to change their voice.’

“And a God wouldn’t have much reason to hide their voice to begin with.” Opalina nods. “I’m with you on this one, Dear.”

“T-Then... Why did this Fleetfoot person sneak in if not to attack?” Meri tilts her head and hugs her shield for comfort. Yes, of course she brought it to the meeting.

“To leave a warning... and... to entertain themselves. They spoke some unsavory words about our resident Black Mage that I will not be repeating. It drove her to have one of her panic attacks. It was an attempt to make me doubt Zutiria... A very poor one.”

‘I’m fine. I’ll get over it.’ Zutiria tries to convince us, but everyone isn’t buying it judging by the concerned looks they give her. ‘I’m not important. The rest of the message is much more so. Continue, Sir.’

“...Right, well. Fleetfoot says that the Duke of Dewhurst has decided that I am no longer a threat and is cutting all his surveillance efforts off, and the ultimatum is that I and my Guild members have two months to leave Dewhurst... or else.”

Meri whines as her boots start to shake. “I... Oh... Last night was so wonderful, too... and today we were supposed to go and see the kitties...” She sighs.

“Things have gotta kinda fucked...” Sam hangs her head.

Nikita stands up and walks towards me. “Take off your glasses, Chief.”

I see no reason not to, and she nods after checking my expression. “You’re not taking this lightly. You think you can fight back and win... don’t you?”

“I do.”

Nikita scratches the back of her half-shaved head and sighs. “I told you that I gave up fighting. That’s not going to change just because I like you and the girls, and not even if Opal asked me to.”

“Niki...” Opalina hugs the little lady sitting on her lap for support.

“BUT. I’ll keep an even closer eye on you if I have to. I’m cool with living here until this whole Duke business is wrapped up... as long as you understand I’m not a sword that you can point at your enemy. I’ll keep you safe, sure. But don’t include me in any of your battle plans or count on me at the last second to save everyone.” Nikita’s gaze is one conflicted with emotions. I sense pain in her eyes. Betrayal... loss... loneliness.

I don’t know much about her past aside from the scant bit she’s mentioned with her falling out with the God she served... but just like most of us in this room, she’s clearly got some issues.

“I wouldn’t dream of asking more than that of you. You’ve done a great deal for me already.” I make a formal bow out of respect to the mighty Grekkan and she blushes then laughs before sitting back down.

Sam speaks next and her words are blunt and to the point. “If we’re really doing this... you got a plan. Right, Boss?”

“No, Sam. I-”

“W-WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!? WE CAN’T FIGHT THEM W-WITHOUT A PLAN, MASTER, I-”

“MERI!” I shout and the Shield Maiden hides back behind her tower shield like a timid little girl once more. “I don’t have a plan... I have many.”

“S-Sorry... Pressure is getting to my nerves, I think...” She blushes and everyone shares a quick laugh at her expense, much to her embarrassment.

“I want you all to know this changes very, very little. We were already heading towards open conflict with the Duke... now, the enemy made the mistake of not only showing their hand but openly challenging us to what amounts to more or less a ‘fair’ fight. Only we all know when it actually comes time to do battle, neither of us will be playing fair.”

“Um... quick question.” Meri raises her hand and I let out a small laugh.

“This isn’t school, Meri. You can just speak your mind.”

“O-Oh, um. Sorry... Did you ever find out why the Duke of Dewhurst suddenly decided to target you all of a sudden...?”

‘Tell them, Sir.’ Zutiria flatly interjects.

“Yes, actually. I had some suspicions but... Fleetfoot dropped a hint that tied up a few loose ends. Oh. That reminds me. Abner is dead.”

Sam opens her mouth in shock, and Opalina surprises everyone in the room by groaning and saying very loudly, “Fucking FINALLY.”

She blushes as soon as she notices everyone else staring at her for acting so out of character. “W-What? He was an awful, perverted, old monkey of a man and a blight on the realm.”

“...Yes, well, according to Fleetfoot, Abner is currently processed meat. They must have predicted I would go question him over the lack of local quests. I expect the town as a whole will find out about his death tomorrow and over the next month we’ll have to put up with electing a new village chief.” I sigh, dreading the oncoming season of politics.

“Wait... meat?” Sam blinks.

‘The butcher.’ Zutiria nods her head.

“Yes. Sam, Zutiria and I had an encounter with one Butcher Bludman as part of a convoluted quest chain some time ago.” I sigh and shake my head from stress as I remembered that particular character. “The long story short is that Sam reported he said something that didn’t sit well with me. I speculated that he was intending to go and kill our client, a man by the name of Spliffert-”

“Fuckin’ hated that stinkin’ cunt. Hit on me an’ tried to sell me his junk steezweed a few times.” The little Dwarf grumbles and her expression sours just from thinking about the man.

“Indeed. Unfortunately for Bludman, I advised the client to skip town before anything else could happen, as he apparently owed a very, very large amount of gold. The real kicker, though? The next day when I had Sam and Zutiria harvesting the steezweed field he left us as payment for his quest... I saw the Butcher out in town, and he was very roughed up and looking downright miserable. Would anyone like to connect the dots for me?” I outstretch my hands and look around the room.

Sam gasps and stands up. “He’s... an enforcer of the Duke’s, isn’t he?! He was supposed to kill Spliffert over the debt... and when he failed he got beaten up- especially because we took the steezweed field! That must’ve put us in the Duke’s line of sight! Shit, it’s all so obvious now!!”

Everyone else stares dumbfoundedly at the blonde, typically stupid Princess. Eventually, I break out into a slow, proud clap and the rest of the room follows suit. Even Zutiria claps although I’m afraid she might just be copying everyone else.

Sam blushes fiercely the moment she realizes she’s being made fun of. “DAMNIT, I’M NOT THAT DUMB, OK?! I CAN BE SMART SOMETIMES!!” She grumpily sits back down at the table and pouts.

“Yes, Sam. You definitely can be.” I shoot her a warm smile and it seems to perk her up if only slightly. “That’s exactly correct, at least from what the information we have has led me to believe.”

Opalina sighs. “That boy isn’t much older than you, you know. He was an odd child... but I don’t know how he ever ended up like this.”

“I wasn’t aware you even knew the Butcher.”

“I know most everyone in town, Dear.” She winks. “It’s a lovely perk of the whole ‘leaving the house’ thing I’ve been trying to tell you about for oh so many years.”

Now everyone laughs at MY expense and I’m the one blushing. Oh how the crowd has turned.

‘Anything else on this topic?’ Zutiria coldly asks without even making eye contact. ‘Or can we move on.’

“No, nothing else needs to be said on the Duke for now. I’ll be working on many defensive measures over the next two months and I likely will have ways for each of you to help, barring Nikita who is apparently my bodyguard from this point on.”

I let out a long, deep sigh knowing that the lecture is only halfway done. “This needed to happen at some point. Look. This town... and this Guild alongside it are... important to me. My Grandpa loved both of them, and-”

“Dear... We’ve been over this. The only thing your grandpa loved- aside from you, of course- was swearing, yelling at people, being drunk, yelling at people while being drunk, and sexual harassment.” Opalina shakes her head at me and frowns.

“Yes... well... he... ahem. We’ll clean up this town and bring it back to the way things used to be to honor his-”

“Excessive crimes against Dewhurst’s female population?”

“...Memory.”

...

“Ok, let’s go ahead and take five... Team meeting isn’t done yet and things are going to get downright stupid from here on out.”