All disruption, no routine

A writer friend said this to me recently because I was whining, as writers--or anyone, really--often will when things are not going smoothly.

I did, however, get my book review column out on the late side of "on time". My sister is visiting from LA, my brother came to visit for a week - both live on the west coast, but were here because it was my parent's 60th anniversary.

Yesterday I sat down to write, and West words were fine - but Sagara words were... oh, that's right, this is the beginning of a book, during which I must start the book multiple times trying to find the right way in, which results in zero useful words at the end of the day T_T. (See what I mean about whining?).

Beginnings are always the hardest for me. The CAST novels don't cause heartache because they start with Kaylin, and she has a tone and a voice that is familiar and, for me, easily reached. West beginnings have always been fraught; I know the events, but the dance is: viewpoint, which edge of the event works best; sometimes I start it too early, and sometimes I need to go further back.

It's like, hmmm.

I have decided to start a book with the protagonist mailing a letter. The letter starts a chain of events. So I start with the protagonist at the mailbox, hesitating to actually commit to the action. But as I write that, it doesn't quite work for me - it's not quite right, although the hesitation is necessary and real.

So then I consider. Should I try after the letter has been sent and cannot be clawed back? Maybe that would work better.

Nope. That doesn't quite do it either. What about writing the before? Maybe.

I have now written a couple of thousand words that don't quite work, so my net gain for the writing day is zero. I know that once I have the right start - for me, as other authors might actually make either of these things work for their books - the writing will flow far more smoothly. But I'm not quite in the book yet; I can almost "hear" it.

So I go take a shower or clean up the kitchen or read the news - actually, no, scratch that; if I read the news Right Now all creative thoughts will be crushed by the cloud of doom - you get the idea.

And then, while not writing, I suddenly think: Start with the letter, Michelle. And I start with the letter, and that actually works. And then I can settle into the routine of writing, without constant interruption and disruption.

The event at the heart of this is the mailing/hesitation. But finding the exact entry into that scene is the thing that can take multiple attempts. And yes, I feel incompetent while doing this :). I think it's just a writer thing, and mostly I can shoulder that.

I may still be a bit absent because, as the title said, there's a lot of disruption. None of it is terrible; much of it could be considered happy. I have no immediate deadlines looming over me like the sword of damocles, but I yearn for a couple of months of disruption free writing.

On the other hand, I am actually truly anticipating that writing time, and I consider that a huge state-of-mind win. In the meantime, I will head back to the book(s).

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This post is mirrored from https://michellewest.ca/

I find it hard to have a conversation on Patreon, and have created a WordPress Patreon only blog to make it easier for me to find new comments and respond to them, sometimes at length.

This post is https://michellewest.ca/2022/07/22/all-disruption-no-routine/; you should be able to hit Login with Patreon, and should be able to read posts there at the same levels you can read them here.

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