survival record 14

Survival Record 13 | Patreon the last record

Because I also updated my blog on fanbox, I will write my survival record here.

This is just a casual ramble, so don't take it too seriously.

I'm not really comfortable sharing this kind of thing publicly on Twitter or elsewhere, but it's about how my fetishes are gradually being revealed. I've actually liked themes related to egg-laying and parasitic girls for years. Sometimes, I feel a bit embarrassed and avoid bringing up this topic.

I personally like yuri, but that doesn't mean I dislike other things. For the past few years, my account has mostly been followed by fans who love cute yuri, so when I see comments or DMs that only talk about yuri, I feel a bit awkward and find it hard to discuss other things.To be blunt, it's about the fact that I drew egg-laying Teto. There weren't many suitable non-human characters back then, so I didn't even think about eggs. At that time, I was drawing original egg-laying characters. But now, it feels like I'm the only one drawing this, and it's really awkward for me... that's why I don't want to reveal too much.

Certainly, I feel somewhat sorry for Teto's fans to a certain extent, but I don't think there's any need to apologize. Since I'm creating derivative works, it's my freedom to portray things however I want. However, there are quite a few people who dislike me, so I don’t want to be on social media much these days. I was asked to draw song's mv art for Vocaloid producers, but I declined all of them. I don’t think it suits me, and I know that many people have blocked me who r vocaloid fans, so my songs wouldn't gain any good promotional effect. I think it's fine to just be a plain otaku artist in the Vocaloid community, focusing on fanart works.

Regarding Miku, I like Miku x Miku pairings, and I've long gotten used to that, so I want to say that I can handle even the worst portrayals. However, sometimes I do care about how things come off, so I’ve decided to post anything too extreme on Fanbox and Patreon. I hope everyone here can understand.

Regarding games, since I fell seriously ill, I've been able to play games much less, so naturally, the conversations about games have also decreased. Playing games should be fun, but using my hands makes it feel painful. However, in these past few days, even though my body is suffering, I tried playing Monster Hunter again, and it's really so much fun... I used to be quite a gaming geek when I was younger. I will continue to draw things related to games, but since I have a lot of favorite types of games, I might draw various games.

Also, I think there's no need to hide it anymore. After I got sick, I suddenly stopped drawing various 'somethings.' I think everyone knows what I'm referring to, but it was very disappointing, and I felt hopeless. So, I could no longer continue drawing specific things. Now, what I can keep drawing are things that don't have terrible memories associated with them.

As for the illness, I'm still not doing very well. The symptoms of paralysis and seizures haven't decreased, and I fell seriously ill in my twenties, and now in my thirties, it’s still horrible. I might not be able to live until my forties. Many people with the same illness as mine are elderly, so my physical condition might be like that of a 70 or 80-year-old . But I'm still doing rehabilitation, taking medication, and continuing treatment... I hope for a miracle to happen.

Please

I don't want to think too deeply about this any longer, so for now, let's just try to live strongly. I think it's a miracle that I'm still able to draw, and I want to cherish that.

For now, I probably want to limit the really awful drawings or the ones I don't want to share, so I think I will keep them just here. Thank you for reading this far.Thank you.