I think my recovery is going well....

Two weeks ago my belly was completely flat. I had never felt worse about my body. The skin was literally hanging from my frame. I thought it would take months to fill out again. I didn’t want anyone to see me, especially not anyone here. I hated how frail and boney I looked so much that it made me feel sick.

I guess the steroids are really helping. That, and my increased appreciation for food. Yeah, somehow even I - who admits that I am not just a feedee but a total foodie who absolutely adores cooking and eating - have found a far deeper love of food than I’ve EVER had before. Plus my appetite is enormous right now and I just can’t stop eating (not that I want to!)

I’ve got my belly back. It might not be as big as it was but I am TOTALLY loving the way it looks and feels right now. It’s a real, round, pot belly. I think it’s rounder than it’s ever been, and it’s super soft to the touch. I feel like my food shows through a lot more clearly when I’ve eaten too, like you can seriously see my gut stretching and bulging when I’ve eaten one of my... um, many meals a day currently. I can’t help it, all I can think about is food!! 

I can really feel everything I’ve eaten inside of me these days too. I mean that in two different ways; when I touch my stomach after I’ve eaten i can REALLY feel where all the food is sitting inside me. When I feel all around my gut I can feel how much I’ve eaten and how much food I’ve got inside of my belly.

but also, I’ve never felt (or heard) my stomach working so vividly and violently! Oh my god, the noises are a newish thing - my gut had been surprisingly quiet at digestion until a few days ago when suddenly everything I ate was followed by hours of constant gurgling, groaning, churning and moaning! I can feel everything moving inside me, the way my tummy violently processes my massive meals and trace them as they travel all the way through me.

This illness has been hell, and I’m still feeling weak and wretched a lot of the time but there are certainly one or two positives to come out of it... and I will be sharing any more I discover with you, too 💙