February's Rant

Hello there you rambunctious corgis.

How have you been? Is the weather nice? Is that a new hat? 

I won’t be taking your patronage this month. The new video has been rather akin to wrestling some kind of giant prehistoric eel, and I’m pretty certain it’ll take another week yet. I’ve put stuff out before it was ‘ready’ a few times in the past, and it was shit and I regretted it for ages. I don’t want this to be shit, so I’m going to work on it some more. All in all don’t feel right accepting your support when I haven’t put shit out for a month – so I won’t. I’ve changed my profile temporarily to ‘per creation’ so as not to charge anyone, just to clear up any confusion. All I’ll say is this month’s video is loosely related to genetic engineering and there will be some shouting. 

Now then. I’m very excited to mention that the paperback version of my last book, The Fifth Science, is finally up on Amazon. I know, a whole new level of pathetic, advertising to folks on Patreon. Well I hope it doesn’t come off like that. Some of you have messaged me – occasionally rather aggressively – asking when it’s out, is all. The answer is: now. If all goes well, I’ll be hiding some of them across Europe in an improvised YouTube treasure hunt shortly. 

I wrote a new waltz too, if you’re interested. If you’re not, well, I still wrote a new waltz. 

In other terribly exciting news the flu kicked my ass for a few days. I spent quite a lot of it in bed reading and watching movies with the cat. And holy shit there are some absolute bangers that I would’ve otherwise avoided. Thor: Ragnarok being one of them. The writing was amazing – quite a few of the jokes had me doubled-over crying, particularly the funnies from that dude made of rocks. Edge of Tomorrow was also brilliant, a sort of sci-fi homage to Groundhog Day. 

Have we talked about déjà vu yet? Probably, but let’s do it again. (HA…HAAAAAAAA.) Do you get it much? I used to as a kid frequently; not so much these days as an adult. But when it hit me, it was always the feeling that I’d seen that exact same moment before in a dream years ago, and it was eerie as shit. Recently I was listening to Graceland by Paul Simon. My dad used to play it to me a lot when I was a kid. And it must’ve triggered some old childhood synapses, because just for a few seconds, I remembered exactly what it felt like being 8 again. Not just being small and rather naïve(er), but the exact feeling of being back in childhood and hanging out with my dad – who was a fucking giant from my perspective then. I read years ago that playing a dementia patient’s favourite music to them from childhood can bring them back to being themselves, just for a few minutes, and now understand why. 

You must’ve had the experience of trying to introduce someone to a band you really like, and they just don’t get it. I think part of the problem is it’s not just the band you like, but all the circumstances surrounding when you found the band for the first time. You can share music with someone. You can’t share all the feelings and memories that came with it initially, of course.

I’m sorry this isn’t more jolly. I’m not 100% back on my feet just yet – my cynicism circuits haven’t come online properly. I’ll leave it as: obviously, as always, thank you enormously for your continued support on here. Plenty of creators (is that what we’re calling them now? Sounds a bit too…godly?) don’t have the luxury of going back to the drawing board and revising projects like I just did; they simply lack the time and support. I find myself in the rather privileged position of being able to do so. I hope it’s worth it on your side in a week or so. (More to the point, I wouldn’t be able to do it without you being so lovely. Thank you, ever, ever so much.)

In any case, wherever you are and whatever you’re working on, I hope all’s well. Again, thank you for the kindness, it means the absolute world. 

All the very best,

Ex. 

(Freya has been exceptionally badly behaved this month; incidents surrounding, but not limited to: destroying the sofa and clawing the shit out of my face at 4 in the morning for no apparent reason. As a result she will not be enjoying her usual photo appearance in this month's post. Good day.)